Comments on: How Far Is Too Far: Planning Your Long Term Relationship http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/ Advice on student style, collegiate dating discussion guides, relationship advice and women's studies. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:05:37 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Jill http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17702 Jill Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:20:15 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17702 I just got home from a road trip with a good friend and she spent a lot of time talking about her boyfriend. They've been together for three months and they have a date chosen for their wedding (in 2011). I think that's a little much. I'd be afraid to think about that kind of stuff, lest I jinx the relationship. -J (http://killjill.wordpress.com) I just got home from a road trip with a good friend and she spent a lot of time talking about her boyfriend. They’ve been together for three months and they have a date chosen for their wedding (in 2011). I think that’s a little much. I’d be afraid to think about that kind of stuff, lest I jinx the relationship.

-J (http://killjill.wordpress.com)

]]> By: Laura http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17701 Laura Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:32:24 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17701 I was broken up with on Christmas Eve. While trying to tell him that I loved him. For the first time. I was broken up with on Christmas Eve. While trying to tell him that I loved him. For the first time.

]]> By: Sarah http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17700 Sarah Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:58:07 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17700 I agree with you that your boyfriend was being unreasonable by getting so upset, but I think next time you should just leave out the, "if we're still together," part because like CC said, it implies to the other person that you'll be breaking up. If you had simply asked him if he wanted to go, he may have said yes and if it turned out that you had broken up when those plans rolled around, then you'd adjust those plans and have a good time without him! I don't even bother addressing the topic of how long or short my relationships will last. That's not to say that planning for the future is out of the question, but it's better not to attempt to predict the future, or to darken it with thoughts of breaking up. I agree with you that your boyfriend was being unreasonable by getting so upset, but I think next time you should just leave out the, “if we’re still together,” part because like CC said, it implies to the other person that you’ll be breaking up. If you had simply asked him if he wanted to go, he may have said yes and if it turned out that you had broken up when those plans rolled around, then you’d adjust those plans and have a good time without him!

I don’t even bother addressing the topic of how long or short my relationships will last. That’s not to say that planning for the future is out of the question, but it’s better not to attempt to predict the future, or to darken it with thoughts of breaking up.

]]> By: Alicia http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17699 Alicia Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:50:35 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17699 wow! i'm trying to figure out the exact same thing right now. my girlfriends and i are trying to put a down payment on spring break before september, and now im facing a similar dilema. do i shack up with the girls ? or is it safe to plan 7 months ahead and get a room with the boyfriend .... so funny to read this right now! let us know what you decide wow! i’m trying to figure out the exact same thing right now. my girlfriends and i are trying to put a down payment on spring break before september, and now im facing a similar dilema. do i shack up with the girls ? or is it safe to plan 7 months ahead and get a room with the boyfriend …. so funny to read this right now! let us know what you decide

]]> By: CC http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17698 CC Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:53:37 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17698 I'm currently in a long distance relationship, but I would never say "If we're still together" because that implies to the other person that you're going to break up. You can't plan a relationship or what happens. And you can wait until as late as December or January to book a spring break trip. I’m currently in a long distance relationship, but I would never say “If we’re still together” because that implies to the other person that you’re going to break up. You can’t plan a relationship or what happens. And you can wait until as late as December or January to book a spring break trip.

]]> By: karissa http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17697 karissa Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:33:23 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17697 "The only long-term relationship I’ve ever had was with a guy who was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything basically, and I thought it was one of those “Oh, we’re going to be together forever” type deals. We were so ’serious’ we had even talked about baby names (I cringe even typing that). Fast forward a year and a half later and we had broken up because I had finally realized what a jealous control freak he was. Not exactly the “forever” scene I had thought of. But I’ll chalk that one up to being 15 and dumb." wow, you just described my first relationship PERFECTLY. i think you're right, though, things are always subject to change and you don't know who you'll be with in a few months. “The only long-term relationship I’ve ever had was with a guy who was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything basically, and I thought it was one of those “Oh, we’re going to be together forever” type deals. We were so ’serious’ we had even talked about baby names (I cringe even typing that). Fast forward a year and a half later and we had broken up because I had finally realized what a jealous control freak he was. Not exactly the “forever” scene I had thought of. But I’ll chalk that one up to being 15 and dumb.”

wow, you just described my first relationship PERFECTLY. i think you’re right, though, things are always subject to change and you don’t know who you’ll be with in a few months.

]]> By: Jess http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/28/how-far-is-too-far-planning-your-long-term-relationship/#comment-17696 Jess Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:54:45 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10705#comment-17696 I'm thinking that totally going and planning your relationship right away is too much. You don't have to be completely hesitant, just enjoy what you have while you have it. The longer you stay together though, like more than a year or two, it's ok to think about the future a little bit. I’m thinking that totally going and planning your relationship right away is too much. You don’t have to be completely hesitant, just enjoy what you have while you have it. The longer you stay together though, like more than a year or two, it’s ok to think about the future a little bit.

]]>