College Candy

[Editor's Note: I have no idea what this picture is, but it made me laugh so I used it. I hope you love it as much as me.]

Since learning that confidence is the most attractive thing to a man, I have been pretty successful in my late night endeavors. I see a man I want and I go for it. The general “walk up to a guy and flirt your heart out” approach is most definitely the way to go, but it is the variety of pick-up lines that makes the whole thing so much more fun.

My 5 most successful are listed below. Feel free to use ‘em…they work like a charm. (Just make sure to thank me later. I accept cookies, hugs and dates with Jake Gyllenhaal.)

1. Did you go to [Insert school here]? It is always good to have something to talk about when you approach a man. I mean, you would look pretty creepy if you just walked up to him and stood around. The school thing is always the best way to go because even if you know for a fact that kid did NOT go to Michigan, it is a great way to start off a convo. And let him know how smart you are.

2. My friends and I are fighting and I need your opinion. Is it true that all you guys need is a handful? Always a good line for the flatter ladies out there. This says, I have small boobs and I’m fine with it. Oh, it also shows the guy you have a sense of humor…and you want him to look at your boobs. Later. In bed.

3. Tell your friend you don’t need a wingman. Dudes always bring out a wingman. Without one, they just look like creepy/sleezy guys looking to get laid. Just tell him to ditch the friend and you have yourself more one on one time…instead of all that time wasted hanging out with the friends and trying to think of a way to get home.

4. [Chugs drink in front of boy.] I can’t seem to get a drink around here…Maybe you’ll have better luck? What can I say? I like getting free drinks… Oh and free drinks lead to drunk/horny people, which ends up working for all of us in the end.

5. What do you do for a living? Oh? I write a sex column. This one gets them every. time. And maybe that’s why I’m always using it. Men simply cannot turn down the opportunity to see their name in print. The minute I tell them what I do (and prove it by whippin’ out the iPhone), they can’t stay away. Not a sex columnist? Lie. I promise…this one always leads to happy endings (and not the kind you have to pay for).

Got any others? I’m always open to trying new ideas….