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Today’s Tweens Have Problems…But Didn’t We All?
July 29, 2008 Posted in Buzz, Cool Stuff
Here’s a shocker: BBC News reports that young girls face increasing pressure to become sexualized at younger ages, and besides becoming sluttier and sluttier, they also give into self-destructive habits to cope with social stress.
My first thought? Oh, no! Save the children. My second thought? Ummm, obvi?
When I was young, my role models were Barbie and Kelly Kapowski. Barbie had an impossible waist paired with magic tits, and Kelly Kapowski had cheated on Zack Morris with college boy Jeff, her boss at the Max. Parents today are concerned that the Bratz dolls negatively influence girls’ body images. I think they look like ghetto skanks with big heads, myself. But I suppose if they are inspiring young girls to seek a ghetto-skank look, there is cause for concern.
But I digress. BBC reports that girls are suffering from various social anxieties: two in five girls studied knew someone who had self-harmed; two in five knew someone who had panic attacks; and one in three knew someone with an eating disorder.
These problems suck; I know, I’ve dealt with all of them. I went through a brief bout of anorexia when I was thirteen, dropping to 104 pounds on a 5’7” frame. When I started eating again after an intervention, knives and razors became my friends. However, when I began working part-time jobs at sixteen, I realized that people look at you like you’re crazy when you have scars up and down your arms, and gave that up too. In college, I saw a school psychologist and got prescriptions for anti-depressants and tranquilizers (for anxiety attacks), which I fondly referred to as “Crazy Pills.” However, even the crazy pills had to go because I couldn’t remember to take them every day (the reason I still use condoms instead of the pill), and it was warping my mind.
I still have body image issues. I still sometimes have an urge to hurt myself. And, though I still have anxiety attacks, I’ve learned how to talk myself down without reaching for a bottle of pills. Yes, these are serious issues, and many people should seek professional help to deal with these problems (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to the pro’s, trust me), but I don’t necessarily think it’s a new phenomenon.
I might get a lot of negative responses for saying this, but am I the only one who has had to deal with problems as a teenager? Hell, even in grad school, I faced cattiness, backstabbing, and fake people, besides the obvious fact that grad school is basically a vehicle for a nervous breakdown. But I survived. So why is social pressure such a huge deal for kids today?
I will agree that it seems that tweens have a more difficult time dealing with popularity, body image, and self esteem, but why? BBC reports that the most important protection against anxiety is a supportive system of family and friends.
If a strong, supportive family is so important, then I predict that this problem is going to snowball, as more and more teenagers are getting pregnant and becoming young, inexperienced parents. And Miley Cyrus’ latest shower pics aren’t helping either.
Readers, were your high school (and college) years all cotton candy and sparkles? I welcome your comments.
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Heather says:
Tue, 29th Jul 20087:40 am
yeah, this is really nothing new. i mean, theres always articles saying that tweens are currently being bombarded by the media, but havent these people been alive in the past 30 years? it's imporant that they continue to write about it, but its annoying when they act like whats going on is something new.
and yeah, you arent the only one with issues. high school sucked, and i have ocd.
Heather says:
Tue, 29th Jul 20087:41 am
ps i looked back on my comment and it looked sarcastic, i meant for it to be informative about myself no sarcasm meant heh sorry if it came off the wrong way
CC says:
Tue, 29th Jul 20088:43 am
I totally agree with you, this is not a new "finding" at all. I had some serious issues when I was in my tween years. I was one of the skinniest girls in my school in 6th grade (like 70 lbs), which was ridiculous enough and it's just the way I was born. So when kids teased me for being anorexic, I stopped eating for a little while because I thought that they could at least make fun of me for something true. When I started eating again, I started cutting, but I realized it wasn't the right way to handle any situation. I'm fine now, although I have mild depression/anxiety, but it's genetic and I know how to control it.
I feel like back in our tween years it was taboo to talk about these issues, so I guess it's a good thing that they are putting it in the spotlight?
Myra says:
Tue, 29th Jul 20085:38 pm
I'm a college student and have anxiety/panic attacks for a few years now… I have been taking pills for a lil over a year. I don't know if I can go on without those pills as of yet. how did you guys managed to control your anxiety and such?
sara says:
Wed, 30th Jul 20084:54 am
I would cry all the time and be depressed because I wasn't one of the cool girls, and the cool girls always stole the boys I liked. I cut for a little while but then stopped as I realized the only way for me to change into who I wanted to be and have people like me (sorry that sounds shallow) was to change the way I acted
giz says:
Wed, 30th Jul 20087:40 pm
it's mostly nothing new, but that doesn't mean we as a society should allow it to worsen.
Heather says:
Fri, 1st Aug 20089:50 am
i think its good they are putting it in the spotlight, cause when i talk to new people about it, they dont think im "crazy" however my parents did when i was first diagnosed (they are from the not-talking-about-this generation). now people also know that you can seek help without being totally nuts, something also good.
i read a book called brain lock, myra. going to the doctors didnt help me much, but this book is more about ocd. i just tried to like go on a little bit each day, for example, try to wash my hands one less time, and i also talked myself through the anxiety when it occured, telling myself it was an illness and not actually what needed to happen. i kind of brainwashed myself, but i did it over the course of a year so i didnt traumatize myself simultaneously. i still act a little weird sometimes, but for the most part im together. for a short time i went to oca (obsessive complulsive anyonymous) and there was a person there that suffered from panic attaacks. so if you cant find a group to fit your problem exaclty, myra, you can always go to find something similar, meeting people works wonders…
i couldnt help but wonder though, unless the medication is giving you side effects, perhaps nothing is wrong with staying on it? although im not on medication myself, when in the group i met many people who chose to stay on medication just cause they were happy that way. whatever works best for you
Stephanie says:
Sun, 3rd Aug 20081:59 pm
-blank stare-
My high school years were all cotton candy and sparkles. So is college so far..but then again I tend to hang around guys more than girls..and ignore the girls when I am around them. After reading this, I can see I haven't missed out on female company.
Kate says:
Sun, 3rd Aug 20084:38 pm
I think there is a relationship- but not as drastic as you are implying. When I was in high school I wasn't wearing, dressing, or acting like half of the girls I see now-a-days. They look older than I am! The heels they are now wearing, and mini dresses are not something I would have found in my closet!
Suzi says:
Sun, 3rd Aug 20089:49 pm
i agree with you. girls nowadays are being taught that they should grow up before their neighbor i swear. it's all a race to the finish line but when they see the end of the race they try to run back, trip, and injure themselves.
and yes. those bratz dolls do look like ghetto skanks. they're creepy…
Ash says:
Tue, 5th Aug 20088:59 am
It's really quite terrible what young girls have to put up with these days…
the girls i went to school with treated me like the biggest outsider because i was uninterested in drama and spent weekends reading.
I was mortified in grade school, and cried constantly because I wanted some sort of acceptance, but I think it's made me a stronger woman today.
I'm totally not afraid to support my differences, and I accept myself for who I am. I think girls who have to face these things should raise up and accept who they are, their bodies, their issues, and love themselves.
I did, and I look at those girls who disliked me now, years and years later, and they Still aren't happy with themselves. And I really feel as if I'm on the right path, and, importantly, i'm very happy.
Alicia says:
Tue, 5th Aug 20087:03 pm
Yes, the urge to look like a ghetto skank is becoming more and more popular these days, especially among white girls. I'm beginning to see more and more girls in mini skirts and push up bras online that over pluck their eyebrows and all seem to pose the same way; eyes popping out with the lips pursed like they're either kissing something or they just ate something really tart.
It's completely stupid, but every generation has their beauty ideals and every girl has had to overcome those ideals to become the unique person that they are today.
In my high school, there were a lot of those girls around. All wearing the same tight jeans and tight tops and tight bras and tight underwear and tight socks and tight shoes and tight dresses and tight skirts. Yet ironically, the school didn't allow for people to wear any revealing clothing. Huh?
Ashleigh says:
Sat, 9th Aug 20088:49 am
Honestly, my high school career hasn't been terrible so far. I have great friends, & a great family. I am overweight, i'm 5'9" & 210lbs, but i've never been made fun of… at least not to my face. The only big problem i have ever really faced in high school would be losing my best friend freshman year. I suffered from anxiety attacks in 7th grade because i was so bothered by my weight. But i have realized i can change my weight easier than someone with a huge nose could. I guess i've just had better luck than some. I do see this around me every single day though, & it needs to be stressed.
beth says:
Sun, 10th Aug 200811:33 pm
As I am currently attending high school and there is such a segregation between all the groups at my school (which is an all girls school), making a lot of us -and I know I am one of them- feel depressed and outcasted, resulting in some of us resorting extreme soultions. As well as that there are a few girls who seem to thrive off bringing others down, bullying them to their faces and sometimes being nice to them, but as soon as they walk away they will be talking about you, making many girls feel even worse about themselves.
joe says:
Mon, 11th Aug 20088:24 am
high school was all cotton candy and sparkles…i had a great fucking time…college sucked…but i also commuted, so i was still living at home
gregory dykes says:
Tue, 19th Aug 200810:04 am
i want to meet you
Isabel says:
Tue, 10th Feb 20095:05 pm
I am a teen, and am having the same problems. The main problem is that my parents think that I'm the perfect child. So that even makes me feel worse that I do these things to myself.
Barry says:
Tue, 8th Dec 200911:46 pm
Hi Kathryn,
It is sad to note that so many tweens nowadays are having anxiety disorders. You are right in saying that they can get help. If anyone needs help for to get rid of panic attacks and how to deal with anxiety, I can be of help.
Barry
#1 Biatch says:
Fri, 17th Sep 20107:57 am
This is not new at ALL.
When I was in Senior School (Highschool) one girl I knew used to bring a razor blade and alcohol in her school bag and showed us all the cuts on her stomach one lunch break when she was slightly drunk. Another girl took an over dose just before an Art Lesson (that was scary) Some one else used to cut their legs to shreds just because. One girl had a complete mental break down and got sectioned (2 years later she came out as a lesbian…turned out she just couldn't deal with it) Ironically this break down began in the girls changing rooms and we had to call a teacher because she was just sat on the floor crying and shaking which was pretty scary.
So crazy teen's is nothing new. There's always going to be people that find some situations harder to deal with that others and therefore the inevitable such as self harm, depression ect will occur.
The only thing is with everyday that passes these things are become more and more socially acceptable. Even where I'm from which is England who are known for our stiff upper lips in comparison with Americans (who I think have the right idea) and share their feelings and who seek therapy as common practise when an issue arises and nip it in the bud before it escalates.