College Candy

I’m going to say what everyone is thinking. Ludacris is a modern day Shakespeare. Yeah, I said it, someone had to. If you don’t know every word to “Roll Out (My Business)” then I’m not sure you can be considered an American.

What could be better than a modern day Shakespeare? Pair him with today’s JFK or some other awesome leader of yesteryear. That of course, is Barack “Yeah I did coke, so what?!” Obama. Luda plus Obama? It’s like Batman and Robin, peanut butter and jelly, Paris and Nicole, boxed wine and passing out on a sidewalk! They just make sense together.

Naturally I was psyched when Barack and Luda first met up to talk about AIDS, empowering the youth or bling. My hopes were built up by a conversation that I could only assume they had.

Ludacris: YOU’S A HOOOO, OHHHHH!

Barack: Together… we can change America, Ludacris.

Ludacris: Yeah man, you’s going for that number one spot.

Barack: I want you, to be… my running mate.

Ludacris: YEAHHH Baby. Hells YES we CAN OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LUDA! YEPPP!

My dreams started to become closer to reality when Ludacris dropped his new song “Obama’s Here”. Brilliance, sheer brilliance. I’d even call it poetic if poetry wasn’t so boring. He even dropped the idea of him being the Vice President! I felt faint with excitement, Ludacris said all the things I simply couldn’t articulate. My personal favorite line? “Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant.”

However, things have taken a turn for the worse. Obama wasn’t as crazy about Ludacris’ single as I was. He formally REJECTED Luda’s delicately put-together song. I’m crushed. According to Ludacris, Obama would’ve even give him a “special pardon if [he’s] ever in the slammer.”

Barack! You’re going to pardon him for a future drive-by or shoot up of a club, but you won’t accept his praising lyrics? Ludicrous.