I Feel So Dirty: 5 Barely Legal Disney Hearthrobs I Want to Freak

You know how every once in a while, nothing is on TV, and you’re super bored, and maybe it’s a Friday night and you have no plans, and instead of doing something productive like reading you flip around on your remote and end up watching the Disney Channel? Yeah. Don’t deny.

There’s nothing wrong with a little mindless television for kids, but what happens when you find yourself inexplicably drawn to those fresh-faced young men chirping out that positive and life-affirming Disney dialogue? You feel weird and a little dirty — and then you go online and try to find pictures. Also, any info that would allow you to stop feeling like a pedophile: i.e birthdays before 1991.

Even though all of the nubile young things listed below have all surpassed their 18th year, I can’t help but feel just the slightest bit Creepy-Old-Man-On-The-Bus whenever I look at them. Oh well. What can I say? If there are shirtless pics of these hotties somewhere on the net, I’d look at them.

I might even download.

5) Joe Jonas (Age: 19)

I know what you’re thinking. He’s probably gay. And even if he’s not gay, he’s got that whole promise ring thing going on. But I mean, forbidden fruit is always the best kind, and his hair is just luscious. Seriously. How did he get such smooth, beautiful locks? Even though I was in first grade before he was even born, I wouldn’t mind running my fingers through that perfectly styled ‘do while listening to teeny-bop songs that are really about Jesus.

4) Corbin Bleu (Age: 19)

I’ve never seen High School Musical or any of its spawn, but whenever commercials or promos pop up about it I can’t help but notice this cutie and his megawatt smile. If there’s anything I dig, it’s a giant smile — plus, I hear he dances and plays basketball at the same time (coordinated!). Also, props to him for acting along side Zac Efron and not bursting into hysterics whenever Efron does something manly.

3) David Henrie (Age: 19)

I guess he’s on a show called Wizards of Waverly Place. I’ve never seen it, but when I typed in “disney hotties” into Google his name came up. Google is right (as always) — boy IS pretty hot, and he’s got gorgeous eyes. His IMDB profile says he’s close with his family, which is great because if we ever get married I need a husband who has a good bond with the fam.

2) Josh Peck (Age: 22)

Honestly, I had no idea who Josh Peck was until I watched a bootleg copy of The Wackness a few weeks back. The movie was pretty good, and Peck was A) great in it and B) naked a few times. I see good things ahead for this chubby kiddie star turned hot serious actor, and we already know he’s cool with nude scenes. Score.

1) Ricky Ullman (Age: 22)

I happen to adore guys with thick black hair who have crazy names (Ricky’s real name is Raviv), and ever since I saw some random episode of a show called Phil of the Future I’ve been just the tiniest bit obsessed with this kid. I don’t know anything about him, but I don’ t need to. He’s hot. It’s obvious. End of story.

[Have I missed any? Don't worry, you won't get arrested...]