Project Runway Rundown: Go For the Gold!

I have to say – last night’s episode of Project Runway brought back feelings of happier times. Times when the contestants were funny and talented and I actually enjoyed watching.

By Lauren

Yeah, I’ll say it: I laughed out loud. And it felt good.

And, being that last night’s episode was all about the Olympic games, I decided it was only fitting to choose an MVP. And, quite obviously, it is going to Blayne and his many hilaaaarious one-liners:

“Other people go to the gym. I go tanning.”

“The Olympics are HUMUNGOUS! SO big. Thousands and millions and billions of people. Heck yeah I’m going for the Gold!”

“In tanning, I’m an Olympic athlete. It only goes to Bronze medal.”

“I just don’t do the Beatles…Sorry Ringo.”

I know he seems to be melting due to his lack of tanning, but I think it makes me like him more. And he has all those bright 80’s Hyper Color t-shirts; he’ll get through it. Oh, and he is MVP purely for what he says. His design sucked.

The challenge this week was to design the outfits for Team USA to wear to the Opening Ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics. Not that they would actually be wearing them. Pshaw! Ralph Lauren designed that sh*t. But, Bravo (owned by NBC, which is running the games) needed to throw the plug in there somehow, so they did.

Anyways, Apolo Ohno explained the challenge to the designers and, in doing so, completely messed everyone up. Apolo, darling, you are cute but you are not too quick. When talking to designers (many of whom are GAY MEN WHO DON’T WATCH SPORTS), you cannot describe the opening ceremonies as, “a fashion show for the Olympics.” These designers do not watch the opening ceremonies and, no matter how many museums they go to, when they hear “fashion show” they will design for a fashion show. Not a sporting event.

And you saw the runway….do you not agree?

The stuff those designers walked down that runway was designed for 1 type of person: a model. I watched that show in horror wondering what those weightlifters/gymnasts would look like in that stuff. One word: AWFUL. These designers ALL missed the mark on this challenge. And it is Apolo’s fault.

In the end, the judges agree with me. (Does that make me REALLY smart, or was this just completely obvious?) Boring Jennifer with her grandma attire gets sent home and Korto takes home the Gold. Personally, I LOVED Terry’s outfit, but maybe the judges were worried about muscley arms fitting into that jacket? Whatever, I want it. Terry, call me!

It was an exciting and hilarious episode and I just hope this is a sign of things to come for the rest of the season. I just can’t f-ing wait for Stella to be called out by the judges/PETA for her constant use of leatha, for Suede to stop saying things are “Wackadoodle” and for Daniel to test his sexuality with Kenley. That would make my year, fo sho.