Moo Shi Spectacle: CC LiveBlogs Through The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

By Jess

[Want to be part of the liveblogging extravaganza? IM CollegeCandy27 and tell us what you think...we'll put the best comments up!]

Everyone’s been talking about Beijing’s Olympic Opening ceremony; it’s futuristic, the best we’ve ever seen, full of spectacle…blah blah blah. Not to be a dick, but how interesting can this sort of thing really be? A bunch of people marching around carrying flags, fireworks, George W…it sounds kind of like the Fourth of July, except slightly more boring, because nobody can be drunk.

Since my social calender has a big gaping hole where tonight’s plans should be, I’ve decided to sit in front of the TV (with or without my face covered in a homemade facial…I’m not telling) and liveblog through this so-called fantastic futuristic mind blowingly awesome ceremony.

Let’s see how badass China really is, shall we?

7:58pm — Matt Lauer and some guy are talking…President Bush is coming down the aisle…he looks slightly awkward.

8:00pm — holy f*ck there are a lot of drummers…in wizard garb.

8:05pm — I think my retnas just exploded from the lights.

8:08pm – [IM from Peanut37] “Wouldn’t want to be the one who effs up in that drum group”

8:13pm – Okay. I’m kinda impressed with those rising Olympic rings…

8:23pm – Dude, there is now a massive scroll in which peeps are dancing on. Plus there’s a drawing. On the massive scroll. That the dancers are doing with their bodies.

8:34pm – [IM from dimitriobsidian] “The block thing kind of looks like…those things they sell in Spencer’s. You know, the ones where you put your hand or your face or whatever body part you think would shock the public the most and it leaves an imprint? … THOSE BLOCKS ARE PEOPLE??”

8:51pm – Some guy is playing the piano, surrounded by people who are lit up and reminding me of an accidental LSD trip I took once…

9:00pm — An hour into the ceremony and I impressed but also bored. Does this make me uncultured?

9:07pm – Commercials. Wait, ER has only one more season? John Stamos is on that show now? That show is still ON?

9:12pm — [IM from pomqueen13] “On display tonight, things China has given us… including paper, fireworks, kites…. and undoubtedly some OPIUM.”

9:20pm – [IM from itisbecauseiam] “I think that china is just trying to show off how vast their population is… there’s no reason to have thousands of people in each and every performance”

9:23pm – Turkmenistan? Where the crap is that?

9:36pm — Table tennis. I forgot that that’s an Olympic sport. I need to watch. I used to have a ping pong table in my basement…the balls kept rolling into the cat litter.

9:47pm — Falling…asleep…being..lulled…by…bagpipes…

9:55pm – PRESIDENT BUSH JUST CHECKED HIS WATCH. He’s as bored as I am.

10:11pm — Okay, I’ve watched for 2 hours and 11 minutes, my computer sounds like it’s about to blow up, America hasn’t paraded through the parade of nations, I’m super hot, and watching people wave flags is not as interesting as it sounds. Thanks to everyone who sent in hilarious IMs…glad I’m not the only one in on a Friday night. Let me know when table tennis is on. NIGHT!