Olympics 2008: The Speedo Controversy

August 8, 2008     Posted in Reality

michael-phelps-speedo.pngWith every Olympic games comes a slew of controversy, and this year is no exception. First it was the un-inviting of Joey Cheek. Then it was the American Cyclists who offended the Chinese government by showing up with masks on.


By Lauren

And the problems don’t stop there.

Apparently, Speedo is causing quite a stir.

Their newest high tech design, the Speedo LZR Racer, has become the talk of the world. This is more than just a bathing suit; it is a record breaker. Since its introduction to the pool, 13 world records have been broken. All in the Racer.

Surely, that is no coincidence. The suit (designed with help from NASA) repels water, molds the swimmer’s body into a perfectly aerodynamic shape and even helps a bit with buoyency. Those unable to wear the suit (due to endorsements with other companies) are crying foul: their Racer-wearing opponents have an unfair advantage.

If I were a swimmer, I would be pissed off too. But I am not. I am simply a fan and to me there is a much larger issue here…

The fact that this suit covers up…everything.

Seriously; what the hell happened to the itty bitty Speedos of our past? I know that NO ONE wants to see those on some fat old dude on the beach, but BRING THEM BACK. These swimmers are in the best shape possible. I don’t care about records. I care about abs. And I want to see them.

I am not sure I can even justify watching the swimming competitions now. Sure, I want to see my fellow Wolverine, Michael Phelps, bring home 8 Golds, but I want to see him do it in one of these. Is that too much to ask?

16 Comments on "Olympics 2008: The Speedo Controversy"

  1. giz says:
    Fri, 8th Aug 200810:35 am 

    IT may be along the same lines as the rules they made for Chinese civilians… according to Vice Magazine's blog, chinese males aren't going to be allowed to walk around topless during the games. oO;

  2. Josh says:
    Fri, 8th Aug 200812:23 pm 

    It looks like you can still kinda see his abs… and his junk, which isn't really something I need to see.

  3. J - NYU says:
    Fri, 8th Aug 20081:58 pm 

    his junk really does look HUGE

  4. laura says:
    Fri, 8th Aug 20085:28 pm 

    His squiggly wiggly is bent and waaaaay to in my face. Freak . me. out.

  5. Stephanie says:
    Fri, 8th Aug 20086:45 pm 

    Uh…what kind of "junk" have you been seeing?

    Because..his "junk" looks kind of teeny.

  6. Mé says:
    Sat, 9th Aug 20082:04 am 

    Anyone who sets a world record in an LZR should receive an asterisk* after their name and record time. I want to see real athletes, not techno-robots in rubber suits.

  7. Anonymous says:
    Sat, 9th Aug 20082:33 pm 

    Stephanie,

    I'd say he was rather flaccid during that picture, making him pretty decent size for his current state. The average size, last I recall, is 5.5" by medical stats. You've been watching far too much porn, which obviously only present the lengthier scale of men.

    Laura,

    His "wiggly" is in that direction obviously for aerodynamic reasons. If he positioned it to the side, there would obviously be drag and would slow him down! Not much else for him to put that thing from the size of it, i'm sure.

  8. Jess says:
    Mon, 11th Aug 20089:08 am 

    I would imagine that since that is Michael Phelps in the picture, its safe to assume he's a "real" athlete, (who broke his own world record) and not a "techno-robot in (a) rubber suit."

    Retard.

  9. Taylor says:
    Fri, 28th Nov 20081:07 am 

    If you are a girl (like you claim to be) then shouldn't you be enthused by the amount of male genitalia now available for viewing pleasure? Sure, it may be shriveled and downsized by the cold pool temperature, but at least now you can make a fair comparison.

    It's like, before, you were shopping for cars just by how they looked. Now, you're viewing directly how much horsepower they have.

  10. WP Cult says:
    Thu, 18th Dec 20083:37 pm 

    I would like to get a suit like that!

  11. WhoaCURRY! says:
    Thu, 15th Jan 200911:13 pm 

    you can see his dick.

  12. Nick says:
    Sat, 24th Jan 20097:18 pm 

    I personally think as long as every swimmer in the competition has a chance to use the suit….it isnt a problem

  13. Joanna says:
    Mon, 2nd Feb 20095:27 pm 

    uggghhhh get in meeeeeeeeee

    i'm lovin' his schlong!!

  14. sevan says:
    Wed, 11th Feb 200910:54 am 

    I hope you are a female….

    Obtaining a record is far more important than abs

    I don't see why you would care so much…

    I might even but one of these suites, or something similar

  15. Lance says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20099:48 am 

    The suit is also transparent. U can see the tatts on his groin. But more a propos to the story, seems like the advantage of this suit goes beyond aerodynamics. With the compression he will have more endurance. He might as well be taking steroids or using flippers.

  16. mitchh says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20093:19 pm 

    hahaha its only hilarious because his little 8=D it pointing up XD. and its prolly only just shriveled cuz the tight ass suite.. and ya the suite looks gay as hell

Tell us what you're thinking...