Upsides of Being a Swingin’ Single

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish.

Of course, the best things about being single is your right to be spontaneous, and, more importantly, flirtatious. Since my ex and I were long distance, every visit had to be carefully planned. We had to find a weekend, make travel arrangements, and then plan an itinerary of activities to make every moment together count. I’m not saying these trips weren’t fun, and we definitely had a blast, but I like to live in the moment. We could never call each other an hour beforehand and say, “It’s been a rough Tuesday, want to go to happy hour?” He couldn’t show up on my doorstep unannounced for a romantic date, or even a quickie. Furthermore, everyone in college knows that it’s really hard to plan a weekend in advance. Often, I’d be super stressed before I left, because I knew the weekend would fly by, and on Monday I’d be struggling to cram for exams and write term papers.

Now that I’m single, I can go to a party that I was just invited to; I can decide last minute if I want to stay in with the girls, or accept a dinner-and-a-movie invitation from a guy who may or may not have more-than-friends intentions (and I don’t have to worry about his intentions anyway, because I’m single). In fact, hanging out with a guy, not knowing where the night is going to go, is a feeling that I’ve missed. With my boyfriend, I was safe and secure; someone loved me. He loved me even in sweatpants. He loved me even if I got wasted and tried to cook a giant supreme pizza in his microwave at 4 a.m. (with the plastic wrap still on). That was great and all, but the other night, I dressed up like a “real girl.” I got decked out in a figure-flattering dress, heels that made my legs go on for days, and even let my roommate do my makeup. I was out to turn heads, and it was 100% permissible.

I know that I’m going to crash and burn more than a few times as I try to settle back into the singles scene. I know I’ll face rejection and go on awkward first dates. I know that I’ll get hit on by guys that really make me miss what I had with my ex-boyfriend. But, for me, and the place I’m at in my life right now, it’s exactly what I need. And I know it’s only summer, but my first single Valentine’s day in years can’t get here fast enough.

[Photo courtesy of dailymail.uk]