Why I Want to Do Michael Phelps

August 12, 2008 - 11:30 am By Lauren - University of Michigan

6_3_michael_phelps.jpgI’ll be honest; before the Olympics started last week, I didn’t think much of Michael Phelps. I knew he was some amazing swimmer, but who cares about swimming, anyway? In the U.S. it is all about football, baseball and fried foods, baby. And all those people talking about how super duper sexy he was? Yeah, I just didn’t agree.

But then the games began (and Michael put on a swim cap/Speedo) and I began to see what everyone else was talking about. I mean – this guy was looking good. Really good. Like, “I kinda sorta (read: totally) wanna do him” good. He is pretty much as close to perfect as any man can get.

Don’t agree? Here are 5 Reasons Why I Want to Do The Breast Stroke (see how I made a swimming term into something sexual? Yeah, I’m that good) With Michael Phelps:

He’s Got Moves: Maybe it’s just me, but when I watch Phelps dive off the platform and do that little mermaid move….well, I can only think dirty, naughty things. He knows how to use his body well and I have a feeling that little move would work wonders both in and out of the pool.

He Loves His Mama: There is nothing more attractive than a guy who loves his mother. Not only is that the sweetest thing ever, but it means is going to respect you and treat you well, too.

Lots o Bling: I love gold and Phelps has more gold around his neck than 50 Cent… and that is saying a lot. Plus, he earned them the hard way (not simply by getting shot 50 times, writing some crappy rap song and buying a giant gold plate encrusted in diamonds to show off to the ladies).

Stamina: Have you ever tried to swim 400 meters against the fastest men in the world? Me either (I prefer to float…with a beer in the raft’s cup holder), but I bet it’s really effing hard. Not for Mikey; this dude has some serious stamina, and you know that will translate well into the bedroom. No, “Oops! I’m sorry…” here; Phelps is in it until the end.

He’s Not Afraid of Rubber/Latex: The guy wears a rubber cap for a living – he won’t have a problem wearing the other rubber cap in the bedroom.

Come to mama, Michael.

31 Comments   Posted in Buzz, HaHa
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31 Comments on "Why I Want to Do Michael Phelps"

  1. jen says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 200812:28 pm 

    amen. and have you seen his team mate/best friend ryan something?? hott!

  2. Stephanie says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 200812:36 pm 

    Agreed. I swear he’s like a visual orgasm.

    Ryan Lochte!!

    H-O-T;)

  3. J - NYU says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 200812:48 pm 

    Lochte is actually hotter than Phelps…according to me.

  4. Audrey says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20081:01 pm 

    Thank you for that pic!! Although I’m sure my keyboard is now saturated in drool.

  5. Cat says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20081:30 pm 

    Mmmm just I had the biggest crush on him…now it has developed into lust.

  6. a says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20081:37 pm 

    he is hot… but i heard he is a real douche in real life… and people have been saying he got around in university of michigan

  7. Natalie says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20082:53 pm 

    I’d never heard of him until recently but after watching him swim…and standing around not swimming…um can i say YUM!!

    If he’s at 2012 in London he just found himself a stalker. I’m kidding.

    LOL!

  8. Kaley says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20083:38 pm 

    He’s damn fine, but I would go for some Cullen Jones, too. (See his teammate in the 4 x 100 relay)

  9. Amber - Old Dominion says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20083:47 pm 

    I never even thought about the whole stamina thing! Now I just want him even more :)

  10. K. says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20085:25 pm 

    Yeah his body’s great and he’s clearly a better swimmer than, um, everyone in the world, but on campus the guy’s reputation precedes him. As a massive tool.

  11. snarktastic says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20085:31 pm 

    hey guys, she didn’t say she wanted to date him, just DO him. who cares if he’s a tool if all one is doing is sleeping with him? he’s got such a hot body with a bit of a screwed up face. you win some, you lose some.

    and if you guys don’t want him, that’s just more for ME. :)

  12. rebekah says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20086:41 pm 

    hey snarktastic he so does not have a screwed up face! he is sexy as hell! I would do him any time!

  13. Jill says:
    Tue, 12th Aug 20086:43 pm 

    Usually athletes do NOTHING for me… but I gotta say… DAY-UM.

  14. Phelps Phan says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20082:37 am 

    i think michael phelps v line is the hottest thing ever, i would lick every inch of him if i could

  15. Kelly says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20084:54 am 

    it’s because he just keeps WINNING. winning is HOT.

    the swimmer’s bod thing doesn’t hurt either though…

  16. T says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20085:29 am 

    No, it’s true. His jaw is weird. But while that would usually bother me, I DON’T CARE. HE IS SO FINE.

    And yeah, so what if he got around? I don’t blame him/them.

  17. Jes says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 200810:50 am 

    Dude, his freaking teammates are super hot as well.

    Lochte is smokin’!

    and the other dark haired/ blue eyed guy is too.. Cullen Jones?

    We’ve got the sexiest swim team ever… lol

  18. ela says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 200811:45 am 

    i’m a face-person… i can’t do it bc of the face.

    however Niksa Roki from ohio state that went to swim for Croatia is giving me some face.

  19. mc says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20081:27 pm 

    …So I’ve been reading quite a few articles on Phelps…some say he has a girlfriend from Michigan ans some say they broke up…any of you guys know the truth?

  20. mc says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20081:27 pm 

    …So I’ve been reading quite a few articles on Phelps…some say he has a girlfriend from Michigan and some say they broke up…any of you know the truth?

  21. Heather says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20082:19 pm 

    i agree with ela that the dude doesnt have a good-looking face. the face is what matters (but the picture you have… his face doesnt look as bad as i thought on tv… i guess hes photogenic)

  22. Jes says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20082:36 pm 

    I’m sorry the third hottie was definitely Ricky Berens…

    http://jezebel.com/assets/images/jezebel/2008/08/mensrelay081308.jpg

    …..thank you college candy!!!

  23. kaTie says:
    Wed, 13th Aug 20085:25 pm 

    Dude got a DUI and thought he’d get away with it! Drinking and driving do not mix with me! He has a hot body, but most people who have that much success think the world revolves around them. I pass.

  24. icebluerose says:
    Sat, 16th Aug 200811:14 am 

    http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bal-te.sp.phelps03aug03,0,6832992.story

    Perhaps this article clears up a few things about his girlfriend?

  25. mc says:
    Sat, 16th Aug 20081:50 pm 

    Hi Icebluerose, though that article is recent it refers to the golden goggle awards which took place in Nov 2007…..i found this article:

    http://www.mensjournal.com/how-do-you-improve-on-the-greatest-ever.html

    He’s stopped dating since Michigan — all eyes on Beijing then back to Baltimore. Read the 4-to-last paragraph…

  26. Martha says:
    Sat, 16th Aug 20083:34 pm 

    Phelps is an awesome swimmer but to to good look in the face.

    But Ryan Lochte on the other hand is HOT HOT HOT!

  27. laura says:
    Sun, 17th Aug 20086:29 pm 

    hahaha i tottally agree with u!! i thought the same thing about those sexy strokes he does in the water!!! RAWR i just wanna do him!!! i bet he is going to get alotta pussy when he is back in the US!

  28. mrs. phelps lol says:
    Sun, 17th Aug 20089:54 pm 

    omg I’ve been in LOVE with him since Athens

    the whole “butter face” thing please all i want to feel are those ABS!!

  29. Kaycee says:
    Mon, 18th Aug 200812:31 pm 

    PHELPS IS HOT!!! and I would love to get into his pants. Any day. But have you guys seen Ricky Berens? Oh baby.

  30. Marisela HAHA says:
    Sun, 24th Aug 20081:00 am 

    WOOWEE,yesh I agree with every single thing about this.I NEVER knew about Michael Phelps until OLYMPIC SWIMMING=WOO WEE.Im joining swimming because of WONDERFUL and HOTT Michael Phelps.Yet I doubt I can pull off any swimsuit.Especially if its for girls which I will have to wear hahah.

  31. JITZWELLY says:
    Sat, 27th Dec 20085:04 am 

    i want to be verry good swimmer. MY DREAM IS TO BE SWIMMER LIKE YOU.SO,PLEASE HELP ME

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