The Hills Season Premiere – Comin’ At You Live

I have been following the life of Lauren Conrad since she was livin’ in her palatial mansion back in Laguna Beach and crushing on (questionably gay) Stephen Coletti. In that time, I have watched every episode on the edge of my seat, screaming at the TV for one reason or another, after which I would write up my a recap and post it to this site.

By Lauren

Well, tonight I decided to do things a little differently. In honor of the premiere of the 4th season of The Hills, I will be bloggin’ it live. No more editing my thoughts from the privacy of my computer. Nope; those bad boys are coming at you in the moment.

So, watch with me as we follow the lives of our favorite L.A. ladies and feel free to IM me at CollegeCandy27 if you too have something (mean) to say to Lo, or the sudden urge to reach into your TV and smack Heidi across that plastic thing she calls a face.

9:13 PM: Only 47 minutes to go. I suppose I can watch a little Olympic Beach Volleyball while I wait…or make an ice cream sundae! Calories don’t count when you’re watching not-so-reality TV, right?

9:30 PM: Ice cream + graham crackers + chocolate sauce = total bliss. I felt guilty eating that while watching girls in bikinis play volleyball so I turned on MTV and they were interviewing the evil Stephanie Pratt. All I have to say is, thank GOD she got rid of the bangs.

9:38 PM: Pre-party interview with Audrina and Justin Bobby…and he’s still wearing those weird hats and mumbling. I guess I should be grateful he didn’t burp/fart?

9:42 PM: Interview with LC. Who wears cocktail dresses to the beach? I know I am not a California chick, but seriously? A GOWN? Roberto Cavalli must be ecstatic that his design is being dragged through the dirty sand.

9:55 PM: Only 5 minutes to go until the dramaaaaa. I am so excited it is embarassing. I turned down plans with friends for this. True story.

10:00 PM: The ladies introduce The Hills. Could they make it any more obvious that they are reading from a teleprompter?

10:01 PM: Does it really take two people to put jeans on hangers?

10:02 PM: FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN!

10:04 PM: Heidi and Audrina regale the tales of their lives to their coworkers. Who don’t care.

10:06 PM: Heidi’s sister comes to town. Poor girl. It is bad when Heidi is the better looking one….

10:08 PM: Lauren gets ready for her date with Doug…and the braid. Threesome!

10:08 PM: “What have you been doing the last four years?” Um, is he for real? She’s on TV, for God’s sake. This guy has beef for brains.

live love it: is he wearing lip gloss?

10:12 PM: Does anyone else hate this Secret Platinum commercial as much as me? Does anyone really love their deoderent that much? That sh*t doesn’t even WORK.

10:17 PM: Spencer is hating on the Montag sistah. Does he think that’s gonna get him in good with the familia?

10:19 PM: Where does Audrina find these friends? The mohawks? The black shirts? The serious tats?! I wonder which kids came for LC and Lo… Oh yeah; the ones who don’t look scary.

10:20 PM: Heidi is giving her sister a makeover. One word: oy. That girl is gonna look like a hot tranny mess.

10:21 PM: Lo is being a bitch. Again. Playing with the dog instead of hanging with the tat-clan? So selfish. I can’t believe she used to be my fav.

10:23 PM: Sentimental moment. LC’s world is falling apart. Cue the sappy song and LC watching Audrina longingly. Will their friendship ever be repaired?! Will Lo ever NOT be a huge bitch? We will have to wait 20 minutes for the commercial break to end to find out.

10:26 PM: Heidi’s sister goes home…with horrible extensions. Spencer seems sad to see her go; as he throws her stuff into the back of the cab. And she wants to move in!? Can’t wait to see how that unfolds.

10:28 PM: Lauren and Whitney recap the party at work. Because they have nothing else to do when they are working. You know, like actual WORK.

10:29 PM: Lo goes out to the beachhouse to talk to Audrina. She totally cuts her off and blames Audrina for it all. I find myself siding with Audrina…I think hell is freezing over. I think I want to punch Lo in the face. For real. If Lo thinks she’s making an effort then she is delusional. She made a couple hot dogs for Audrina…that’s an effort?!

Well, that’s a wrap!

Nothing really happened besides some really bad PR for whoever did Sister Montag’s awful hair and the smackdown between Audrina and Lo, but I have a feeling this season is gonna be so-bad-it’s-so-good. With Heidi’s sis movin’ to town, the rift at Casa De LC and the Doug sitch, there are bound to be some catfights. Let’s just hope there is some braid pulling – that may be the only way to get LC to part with that god awful look.