A Guide for Being the Best Hookup

In yesterday’s Candy Dish, we linked out to a story that gave advice on how to be the best hookup. Not in a “do this with your tongue” sort of way, but more of a “be courteous and don’t overstay your welcome” deal. We thought the topic was a great one, but upon further inspection I realized that I didn’t quite agree with the tips that were given.

In fact, they made me sort of angry.

The writer’s tips can be summed up simply as, “Get up, get out, and make sure you look pretty when ya do it.” What? Is it 1950? Is there a reason the woman should have to tip toe (literally) around the sleeping prince? Should she have to exit quietly so as not to disturb his life?

You spent the night with a guy – which is your right – so why should you feel like a trampy nobody in the morning? Own it. Be there. Enjoy it.

In response to their post, we are going to give you our tips. And not make you feel bad for gettin’ frisky with a strapping young lad:

They Said: Get up and get out.

We Say: Unless you don’t like the idea of morning sex, we recommend sticking around for a bit. You are already there, why not enjoy a morning activity that both of you are clearly going to want? And if morning sex isn’t your thing, don’t sneak out. That just looks shady. Wake the boy up, tell him you had a great time but have to get back home, and kiss him goodbye.

They Said: Kiss Him Goodbye

We Say: We do agree with this one; no matter how bad the hookup (and you know some of those college boys have no clue what they are doing) give him a kiss goodbye. If you liked it, leave your number. It is a tad strange to spend an entire evening naked with someone and doing many a-naughty thing only to get all shy and run out in the morning. Plus, why should you run? You didn’t force this guy to take you home – he invited you. Don’t feel weird about it in the morning.

They Said: Keep things quiet

We Say: Sneaking out of some guy’s house in the early morning is going to make you feel cheap and whorish. And, despite what many people think, spending the night with a man is neither of those things. Why should you have to tip toe out of his house? He knows you are there. He doesn’t have to get up and walk you out, but he should acknowledge that you are leaving and make an effort to say goodbye. Yes, it is a bad idea to run through his house, cook some breakfast and watch TV with the roommates, but there is no reason for you to have to take off your shoes and tip toe out the front door.

They Said: Pick up your trash

We Say: Let that guy clean up his own place! You weren’t the only one using that water bottle and you sure as hell weren’t alone in the use of the condom. Cleaning up after yourself makes it seem like you did something wrong and that you are trying to hide it. Why should you have to clean up after some man? This is his apartment/dorm room – he can clean it up when he finally rolls out of bed.

They Said: Don’t Make Apologies

We Say: Amen, sisters. If you went home with someone and didn’t want to have sex, that is your prerogative. No matter what he says, “But it feels so good,” “You won’t regret it,” “Just for a second?” you do NOT have to give in.

They Said: Make sure you don’t look like a busted up ho when you leave.

We Say: Sure, straightening out the hair and splashing a little water on your face is a good idea, but no matter how much lip gloss you reapply, sporting a backless shirt and a pair of stilettos at 10AM on a Saturday is going to tip everyone off.

[Image courtesy of timgrey on Flickr.]