He Said/She Said: Body Hair in the Bedroom

August 20, 2008     Posted in Other Stories, Sex

hairy.jpgBody hair – for good reason – is a topic not often discussed. For one thing, there are far more interesting topics to talk about (like cupcakes, for example) than the unfortunate sprouting under your arms. For another, what is there really to discuss? It is pretty much understood that body hair needs to go away. End of discussion.


By CC Staff

But, being a single woman who happens to be quite lazy when it comes to body hair maintenance, I really needed to know a few things. You see, I have found myself a precarious situation many times; I am invited back to someone’s house, sex is inevitable, but as I take his hand and follow him out to the cab I realize that I haven’t shaved my legs. In 4 weeks.

Is this a deal breaker? Do I tell him? Do I offer a rain check on the (what is sure to be amazing) sex? Do we swing by CVS on the way home to pick up a Quattro?

I asked my resident male advice-giver to give it to me straight. First he looked at me blankly. Then he asked my feelings on beards. Then he had this to say.

He Said:

In America, unlike France and most third world countries, we like our women as hairless as possible. And despite all the time, money and pain that goes into the hair-removal process, women prep themselves daily to avoid the humiliation of being caught in public with even a few wispy strands on their legs, or–heaven forbid!–a miniscule tuft emerging from their armpits. Not even eyebrows are allowed a moment of unruliness.

Men don’t often realize how much time women put into looking hot, each and every day. When getting ready to leave the house, all guys do is shower (maybe), shave our faces (sometimes) and throw on some pants (reluctantly). Because of this, we forget how much work goes into having a perfectly groomed bikini line, or hairless legs. And because we forget, seeing hair in places we don’t expect definitely surprises us, sometimes turning us off altogether.

Ok, duh. But what do us guys really want? When it comes to legs and armpits, I’d say that those should be shaved at all times. Not that we don’t understand when things get a bit shaggy or it means we’ll want to break up for your lack of shaving, but hairless is definitely a plus.

When it comes to the hair down there, less is always more. But if having nothing makes you feel like a little kid, the landing strip or some variation of that are always good options. Full bush, however, is best left in the ’70s.

In the end, we want women to look as feminine and sexy as possible. And in America, that means not having excess body hair. Basically, the more you remind us of ourselves and our own bodies, the less we want to have sex with you–because dudes are F’ing disgusting beasts.

She Said:

Body hair on dudes, like death and taxes, is pretty much a given. Any woman who wants her man sans hair is either crazy or obsessed with Olympic swimmers. But there is one place that most women do not want hair:

On your face.

Not only do beards look a little Creepy-Old-Dude-In-The-Corner, but they hurt. A lot. Imagine rubbing your face against a Brillo Pad for an hour and you will begin to understand what it is like to make out with a dude with facial hair. And a 5 O’Clock Shadow is even worse. A normal beard feels like silk compared to that stubbly mess.

And as long as we are on the subject of hair, let’s take things down a bit.

Lower…..

Lower…..

Ah yes. Now we’re there. Hair….down there. Puffy and Jay Z may be takin’ care of things on that front, but I can say with certainty that most other men are not. Which means that while girls may like it if you trimmed that tree (or branch…), we never expect it. We aren’t going to head for the hills or, offended, slap you in the face if you have always opted out of the Male Brazilian. Unfortunately, the rules regarding hair in that region are much more lax for the men of the world.

If you did, however, decide to take care of that…well, that would just be a glorious added bonus.

And I am sure you would be rewarded for it again and again.

27 Comments on "He Said/She Said: Body Hair in the Bedroom"

  1. Steph says:
    Wed, 20th Aug 20084:24 pm 

    I am very much in love with a Puerta Rican, and he has exceptionally little body hair. It's soft and barely noticeable, but he does trim the little hair he has in his nether region. Not full "brazilian" but clean and tidy.

  2. youandmeboth says:
    Wed, 20th Aug 20085:06 pm 

    "like death and taxes"- clear Jezebel rip off.

  3. Lauren, University o says:
    Wed, 20th Aug 20085:25 pm 

    Death and taxes were around long before Jezebel.

  4. Shann says:
    Wed, 20th Aug 20087:30 pm 

    http://jezebel.com/tag/Asses-and-Kardashians/

    "like death and taxes" ^

  5. Oy says:
    Wed, 20th Aug 20089:37 pm 

    Ahhaha.

    Because Jezebel was around before Benjamin Franklin…

  6. ela says:
    Thu, 21st Aug 20082:44 am 

    ok back to the topic at hand:

    MANLY = SEXY

    man makeup + straightening their hair with highlighted wisps in their eyes + spray tanning + waxing etcetcetc = unnatural = that dude from high school musical that is totally gay whether some of you want to face it or not!

    i'm in europe, as in, i'm european- and men with no hair are so unattractive to me. when i look at american cosmo i gag when i see the 'babes' in there bc they all look like over grown prepubescent boys (i lived in america for 17 years so i'm not that biased). real men are natural and, in essence, all people should really be NATURAL.

    as 'feminists' we want to be accepted the way we are, with womanly curves, bodies and natural processes. yet, now we expect men to shave areas of their body that naturally are required to have hair to fit some new norm of 'sexy'. contradictory.

    while some women protest that having a bald eagle hairstyle down there is pedo, removing hair down there may serve other purposes as in, making oral sex easier. why do i need a waxed chest? so i can lotion it easier? idk.

    men don't have to be 'eurotrash' to pull it off- look at fashion icon TOM FORD who's a texan. he represents raw manliness and THAT IS SEXY. http://www.mimifroufrou.com/scentedsalamander/ima… (and he's GAY!he flipped it on us)

  7. jes says:
    Thu, 21st Aug 20084:26 am 

    Well, personally I LOVE stubble on my boyfriend! I think he actually leaves it there for me! There's just something very sexy when you combine that with his shaggy hair (only to his ears, though) and his adorable glasses. But he also has a very structured jawline, so I think it just looks better on some guys that way.

    Sorry, I probably just made someone vomit. haha

    Anyways.. the one place I DO mind shaggy-ness is his "nether-regions"… It just completely turns me off from the idea of giving oral when you've got that whole deal going on down there.. eek!

    So I suppose I'm just the opposite of everyone else! lol

  8. Jonathan says:
    Thu, 21st Aug 20087:37 am 

    As a dude, I'm down for anything that increases my chances for more blow jobs, so if girls really do prefer some grooming, totally cool. But over the past couple of year I've received such mixed feedback about trimming. I'm not convinced this is a general rule. Also, keeping sharp objects away from my crotch is a daily goal, so I'm not exactly jumping at the chance to fling razor blades around my junk, that's all i'm sayin….

  9. Crunchy says:
    Thu, 21st Aug 20089:06 am 

    I don't know if I could handle a male Brazilian . . . I'm definitely not man enough for that.

    http://www.digitalfuntown.com/showpage.php?showid…

  10. * says:
    Thu, 21st Aug 200810:30 am 

    i wouldn't say go brazilian, but you can definitely take a small pair of trimming scissors to that area! haha

    just like guys want you to leave the bush in the 70's (for several reasons) i think that goes both ways…

  11. heather says:
    Thu, 21st Aug 20083:53 pm 

    yeah its better if guys shave down below. i wouldnt expect anyone to get a brazilian, but a man-bush is just disgusting.

  12. sara says:
    Fri, 22nd Aug 20086:02 am 

    I love face stubble, even if it is a little prickly its just a turn-on for me and I think its manly. Some chest hair is fine but not gobs of it obviously, like the featured picture… lol. As far as down there, my ex would shave it all then let it grow til it got too long then shave again. You all might think its gross but he was a hairy guy and he knew I expected him to keep shaving, I don't think he cared that much.

  13. Carmen says:
    Fri, 22nd Aug 20082:36 pm 

    I don't mind some body hair… but it acutally just grosses me out…alot!

    Happy Trails…

  14. Kate says:
    Fri, 22nd Aug 20084:48 pm 

    I looooveee 5 o'clock shadow. Scruffiness is SO HOT in my opinion.

    For, ahem, down there I think shaved/bald/brazilian/etc looks so wrong. Bush = bad, bald = bad, trimmed = TERRIFIC

  15. jen says:
    Sun, 24th Aug 20086:37 pm 

    i think stubble on guys is beyond sexy

    …and bushes turn me off completely-so disgusting-i love it when guys keep it neat and clean! and too much body hair is gross too but i might be a bit too picky lol

  16. Valerie says:
    Fri, 29th Aug 20086:52 am 

    I also love facial hair. From stubble to well groomed full on beards. Also, I require my partner to at min. trim. And if he complains, I remind him what he requires to spend any time down there on me….

  17. Johnathan-Wataru says:
    Fri, 29th Aug 20088:06 pm 

    "Basically, the more you remind us of ourselves and our own bodies, the less we want to have sex with you–because dudes are F’ing disgusting beasts."

    Ahaha, I so have to agree, other then tomboys, who are somehow cute with their toughness.

    I haven't exampled trimmed the "bush" but I've thought of it, I'm hesitant on whether or not to shave it, and to be honest, when I did shave it partially, I didn't know what to do with the razor, so I tossed it (I was scared, this was like fetish to me, that I was not interested in!).

    But for women, honestly, I'm not a man to mind, but usually less hair from the neck down is a plus. Especially the private area, because I think men get another self-esteem bonus for that because it's the one lil place that only you two share, I hope.

  18. some guy says:
    Sun, 31st Aug 200811:43 am 

    Ladies if your in a situation where you haven't kept up with maintence you don't have to be embarassed. When the dude asks you to his place just say something like: "I'd love to but since I wasn't expecting this I didn't shave this morning." and make that cute sorry face you all got or do a little laugh. If he's a cool dude trust me he won't mind. He'll see you as more down to earth and as someone who doesn't have to be perfect, he'll also like that you were at the club without the intention of hooking up. And if it's a deal breaker for him, trust me you probably didn't want to go home with him anyway.

  19. some guy says:
    Sun, 31st Aug 200811:47 am 

    Oh yeah, I do go brazilian for anniversaries and my girlfriends birthday because I know she likes it.

  20. Dom says:
    Wed, 10th Sep 20088:55 pm 

    So here's the deal… if you're in a long term relationship with someone, and you can go either way on hair-down-there, just ASK them what they like.

    Personally, I like my boyfriend to be pretty hairy down there. Running my fingers through it is nice, and he seems to like that during BJs (or leading up to them). BUT I don't want to get lost when I'm going down on him either. He takes scissors to the underbrush about once a week and keeps it at a modest length (about 1.5 cm). No scissors, and we're both happy.

    Now, he likes me to shave around the underside (near the opening) of the vagina, but wants me to leave the hair in front. He says it feels good when we're going at it missonary style. I don't let the front part go wild, though. I keep mine trimmed back to about 1 cm. Having quite short hair there also makes "maintenence" easier around my period.

    (Sorry if this is too much information, guys!)

    Anyway, the important thing is that he and I are both comfortable shaving or trimming to how ever the other likes it done. We don't force eachother to do anything, and sometimes we switch it up and drop hints about it ("Hey, you… You'd feel nice if you were bare down there tonight…")

    Also notice that even though he and I are totally okay with shaving, we both prefer some hair down there.

    Bald isn't always the best. But I gotta say, keep the hedges in check, huh?

  21. Non-American Girl says:
    Fri, 10th Oct 20089:50 am 

    "In America, unlike France and most third world countries, we like our women as hairless as possible."

    I don't think this is true..I'm not American but I go to college here and well, almost all of the girls here don't wax/shave their arms.. I mean it's totally up to them whatever they want to do..and I don't see guys having problems with that. So when you say that guys over here like their women as hairless as possible when compared to guys in other countries that's an incorrect statement

  22. odd says:
    Sun, 21st Dec 20088:57 pm 

    I think the whole male obsession with hairlessness is sort of disturbing. Now, granted, I do shave my legs, underarms and well, "the business". Because I'd probably be ostracized if I didn't. But I dont understand why (or more importantly, why it's fair) that women have to maintain the illusion that they are somehow void of all hair at all times.

    I've seen women distraught because guys have teased them for having too much arm hair for example. I mean, come on… what do you expect women who have dark hair to shave her arms just because it's visible? It's just another example of television, magazines and pop culture propagating a totally unrealistic boy image.

    I actually find the practice pretty ironic. After all, the first women to start shaving their armpits and pubic hair were prostitutes in brothels who did it to eliminate having to deal with lice from their customers. So unless you feel that prostitutes are the ultimate image of femininity, the whole hair issue seems pretty silly. Not to mention time consuming and sometimes painful (you know what I mean if you've ever gotten a brazilian wax or razor burn down there)

    It really all has to do with society. We are raised to believe (for the most part) what society around us finds beautiful. In the 70's, going hairless was practically unheard of… but they seemed not to have any less fun in the sack. Nowadays though, if you flaunt a full bush you're "that weird girl" everyone talks about in the locker room. Oh who the hell cares anyway…. it's on your head isn't it? So what's the difference?

  23. odd says:
    Sun, 21st Dec 20088:58 pm 

    it was supposed to be "body image" btw not "boy image" =D

  24. bella says:
    Wed, 25th Mar 20093:26 pm 

    hmmm….sounds like you only talked to one guy.

    My husband HATES it if i trim down there. if i did, there goes the sex life!!! well, hes a nice guy, he lets me do what i want, but its a turnoff for him for me to trim or shave that. he likes it fluffy!!

    as for legs, i like the look of leg hair on myself and any woman. i have no idea why, the smooth look is just weird to me.

    My husband, he likes shaved legs.

    Armpits? yeah, got to shave. idk why, armpit hair just increases the sweat and looks weird.

    of course shaving is not very comfortable, and i'd rather have hair than razor burn.

    having said that, i shave legs and underarms. nothing more.

  25. frederique says:
    Sat, 18th Jun 20116:43 pm 

    My boyfriend has never cared about whether I shave anything or not. And that's the way it should be, in my opinion. Besides, if you like each other enough to be in the situation where he might see your body hair, I wouldn't say whether you're shaved or not is going to change his mind about you. If it does, he's obviously shallow, has a twisted view on women and is not worth your time.

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