Hoes Over Bros – Why It Never Works

Once upon a time, there was a girl. And her friend. And a boy.

Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl’s like is clearly unrequited. Friend hates boy, friend grows to like boy, friend and boy go out.

And boy, did the stinky brown substance hit the fan.

Rudge from The History Boys defined history as, “one f*%king thing after another.” This can also be applied to the demise of this relationship. One argument turned into some petty fight. Over a boy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but back then, when they had a bust up, to a girl like me who’d always held the Hoes over Bros rule golden, this was sacrilege.

No, there are no happy endings, and no, they never made up. Yes, I am bitter and disillusioned, and yes, this is exactly why I don’t believe in hoes over bros anymore.

On Gossip Girl, Serena did the unforgiveable and slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. And sure, her best friend was angry and wanted revenge, but ultimately, she took her back. On One Tree Hill, Peyton nabbed Lucas’s heart, while her betrayed best friend, Brooke, was hurt. The scenario with my two friends, certainly didn’t end up like this. Three years of friendship and somehow a boy was still more important.

Hoes over bros is a nice thought. Really. But, you and I live in the real world. The one where sometimes people do what they like regardless of the consequences, and sometimes, where people take unreasonable stances.

Sure, it’s easy to say that you’ll never end up feeling the slightest bit of attraction to your friend’s boyfriend, but again… real life. It likes screwing with us. I mean, I’ve heard of situations where best friends and boyfriends grow close, and it’s only natural that if and when the friend and boyfriend break up the best friend would want to hold onto their friendship.

After all, they’re close.

And sometimes, that can lead to more.

If that is what they want to do, fine; but this is one of those instances where you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You want the boy? You gotta get rid of the girl.

I have never heard of a situation where the friend has been happy for the other two in the love triangle. I mean, fake enthusiasm for a canoodling couple can only be faked up until a certain point. Just watch My Best Friend’s Wedding. The person will avoid the happy couple, until the couple sort of moves on and does couply things. If interaction happens, the scorned friend will put on a smile and pretend. But even though everything seems fine on the surface, the friendship is changed. And on its way to being over.

There was this TV show (God, I watch a lot of TV) ages ago, and someone said something like, “Ultimately, I’m selfish, because I care more about me than I do about you.” Apart from thinking, “What a jerk!”, I thought that he was onto something. How much would you be willing to give up for friendship?

Love or friendship? Ho or bro? That is the question…and you must choose one.