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Surviving the Long Distance Relationship
August 24, 2008 Posted in Reality
The Long Distance Relationship.
It sucks, but I keep telling myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I’ve been in an on and off relationship with this guy for eight years. Yes, we first started dating when I was about ten. That’s a very long time, and we’ve been through a lot, including six month periods of not talking at all. Times where I was depressed and mopey and times where I was rebellious and happy.
He’s my best friend, my love, and the one I’m pretty confident I will be with for the rest of my life. Well, we got back together, again, and now my boyfriend has moved across the country. Yet another hurdle to overcome.
Instead of getting angry or upset, I decided to look at the situation in a positive light. I could go visit for a few weeks, and he would be home for holidays. It can’t be that bad. In fact, I just returned home from a two and a half week visit with him, and it was the most amazing trip I’ve ever had. That vacation definitely solidified everything I’ve felt about him for so long. Yes, LDRs are difficult, but they can be done. If you are willing to work through it like we are, it will be worth it in the end.
But it will be work, so here a few things to keep in mind when you and your man go long distance:
1. Don’t freak out if you don’t get a phone call every night. Being in different locations means doing different things at different times, and there may likely be a time difference so chances are you won’t get a call every night. I get calls at 3 in the morning and sometimes I’m too tired to wake up and chat, but if I don’t receive a call I know that he either went to sleep or just forgot. Don’t go crazy over it.
2. Don’t become anti-social. If you stay in every night and mope around by yourself, chances are you’re going to be very depressed. Go and meet new people and do things, that way, when you do get that late night phone call, you’ll have something exciting to talk about.
3. Try to avoid getting jealous. You are both in different places, and you’re going to have friends of the opposite sex. That’s normal and getting jealous won’t help your relationship. You have to trust each other, and if something does happen, you need to talk it out.
4. Stay honest. Tell the truth about where you’re going that night, and who you’re going to be with. Chances are if you lie about it, they’ll find out somehow.
5. Send stuff! Send each other packages, letters, emails, or whatever you want to let your loved one know you’re thinking about them. Little surprises in the mail will make their day and reassure them that they are in your heart and mind.
6. Video chat. This is a great way to talk and see each other, plus it feels like they’re really in front of you. If you’re feeling particularly sad and want to see your boyfriend or girlfriend, then just log on to iChat or Skype (or some program like that) and talk online.
Good luck to all you couples in LDRs!
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Carly says:
Sun, 24th Aug 200811:19 am
Great tips, and right on. All of these things are helping me get through my LDR for going on three years now.
ela says:
Mon, 25th Aug 200812:25 am
wanna talk about a LDR? how about across the world? my fiancee lived back home in europe in my hometown while i was finishing up some stuff after living 17 years in the states (we were together for 2 of those years). i basically spent 8 hrs a day on MSN webcam, eating together, watching tv in silence together…it was like an eRoomate. i made him movies with that moviemaker thing on windows of our pics and vids and some good music and he loved it. we made it. i moved back to the EU and now we're happily ever after..making up for all that cybersex.
michelle says:
Wed, 27th Aug 20086:00 pm
Im in mass and my boyfriend left last week for azriona. it sucks so much but this article was deffinatly helpful. but we have talked everyday since hes left and we text all the time but im counting down the days til i see him again
Hannah says:
Wed, 17th Jun 20099:16 am
These are very true. I've been in a ldr with my boyfriend for three years. You have to be honest and talk about everything that is bugging you (or him). I'm fairly sure I'd like to spend the rest of my life with him
Kombe Musonda says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20096:52 am
The are really great tips 4 us who are in LDRs. Rily nice way to summarise all de important issuees one has to do to survive in it.
angel says:
Fri, 19th Jun 200910:03 pm
im in a long ldr too,its bn 2years but we serviva he talk on the phone for hours its more like he is here,our love is growing everyday i miss him thou
Lindz says:
Sat, 20th Jun 20096:43 pm
i am about to be in a ldr… again. we are trying to work through our problems. but i leave in august for the air force. and he will be in va and i will be in texas, then florida then back to va. i trust him thats not the problem its just not being able to talk to him for 2mos… except through letters.
can a relationship really last when there is no communication due to the lovely basic training rules?
claueyklenz says:
Mon, 22nd Jun 20094:10 am
that is sooo true! ive been in a 2 yr and 7 month relationship and we've been long dstance from day 1, and now he lives even further off the counrty… i was jealous and all that, i still am sometimes, but it's all worth it! The heart does become fonder and video chat is really a huge help.
tip: get a 2nd gen iTouch, you can skype anywhere with wi-fi without the hassle of a laptop.
mrsjmbb says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20097:30 am
Oh how cute, my husband and I, obviously before we got married, dated for six months. He was in the Navy and I was in college in TN. He was stationed in Washington and of course I was stuck on campus in the upperclassman dorms. After I graduated and he was honorably discharged, we moved in together and after six months of living togther, we got married. It will be 4 years of marriage this November and we have a 17 month old baby girl.
If you stay positive and keep your personal life lively and fun, you can survive a LDR. Just don't let him consume your every thought. Although my hubby at the time was on the opposite coast, I still did parties, but I just didn't date, I knew I had a boyfriend and that was it.
ava says:
Thu, 8th Oct 20096:11 pm
ldr are possible its hard but its possible me and my man are together for 6 years we lived in the netherlands, 2 years ago he went back to angola ( africa) a year later i followed him and we talk everyday..now im back in holland and the plans are made! i go back to angola cuz it stole my heart and we building a house and the only thing left is finding a job.. its alot of stress but its worth it all!