When It Comes to Breakups, Honesty is Always The Best Policy
Ending a relationship with someone, no matter how long you’ve dated, is never an easy thing. You have to face someone and tell them – in more or less words – that you don’t want to be with them anymore. For many, it can be quite devastating to the heart (not to mention, the ego).
So, how do you deal?
Some go for the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. It makes sense; it’s always easier to come up with some reason that conveniently puts the blame on you rather than telling your soon-to-be ex that he really isn’t that funny and you’d rather stab your eyes out with a fork than hear another one of his lame jokes. And, sure, by doing so, you save face and spare their feelings, but ultimately, you’re not being completely honest if you can’t come out and tell them exactly why you’re ending it.
If I’ve ever had to break up with someone, I always try to be as honest as possible, but keep his or her feelings in mind. For example, when my ex and I of four years were falling apart (and even though I still loved him at the time) I knew I had to cut the cord. When I sat him down to discuss why we needed to break up, I was honest: we were killing each other, fighting all the time and I knew it wasn’t going to get any better, ever.
It was an incredibly hard conversation to have, but after 4 years, I felt he deserved that respect.
Wouldn’t you want the same respect shown to you? If you were doing something wrong in a relationship, wouldn’t you want someone to give you enough respect to have him or her tell you what you did wrong to ruin it? You wouldn’t want someone you loved giving you the lame, “I’m just really busy right now,” so why would you use it yourself?
Breaking up sucks and while it’s easier to lie and make up some excuse about how you need some space to figure out what you want, it will hurt. So, be the strong woman that you are and give it to him straight; you will both feel better about it in the long run (and maybe even take some tips with you to your next relationship).
(Photo courtesy of popmatters.com)