Two Friends Date: Where Does My Loyalty Lie?

There’s a magical wonderland I’ve dreamed up in my make-believe social circle where people only date people who their friends don’t know. There are unicorns and wizards and lots of parties and gatherings that are NOT awkward in this wonderland. Unfortunately, this is a magical wonderland. Not reality.

In reality, we’re all very disturbingly gross, incestuous lovers. Not only do most of my friends know the guys I date, but most of the guys I date know the other guys I date. It’s really fun, let me tell you. But I’m not the only one jumping through these intertwined romantic hoops. Many a friend of mine, actually, has dated another friend of mine. It seems to be the way the world works.

This is all fine and dandy until the couple starts paddling down good ol’ sh*t creek. It starts with a complaining IM message, email, text, or phone call. One friend is coming to you to have a heart to heart about what friend number two did wrong to hurt his or her feelings. And just like a Los Angeles smog, awkwardness starts seeping down from the sky and choking the entire room.

What am I supposed to say in these situations? Which friend am I more loyal to? What the f*ck?

Recently, two of my friends met at a party of mine. Their relationship kicked off with a sunset on the beach and was followed by 4 weeks of hot love-making and puppy-dog glances. But then my girl friend, Marie, had a reconnecting visit with her ex and didn’t really want to be so smothered by my boy friend, Pete. Which has forced me into the middle as Pete has been IMing me daily about Marie.

And this same situation has happened so many times.

My theory on it all?

If both people are my friends, then they are my friends. I’m going to be loyal to both of them. I’m going to be fair and honest with each friend without saying or doing anything to hurt the reputation or happiness of my other friend.

So when Pete asked me about Marie, I simply said, “I’m not sure what’s going on with her, but give it time, I’m sure the dust will eventually settle.”

The key is to not choose sides. That’s not fair. Be loyal to both of your friends in these situations – at least that’s my opinion. What do you think?