Applause + Crazy Glasses + Redonk = The Democratic Convention

August 28, 2008 10:50 am     Posted in Buzz, News  Jess - NYU g+ page

_44961778_d0df7a71-aa40-424d-a1da-8bf1791713c9.jpgSince my surgery last week (I’ll spare you the details, but it sucked. SUCKED), I haven’t been doing a lot besides popping pain pills and watching TV. I’ve watched so much TV in the last 9 days that I’m seeing not just repeats, but thrice-peats, on every single channel.


By Jess

Because nighttime is the worst, I tend to be unable to move enough to even change the channel, thus rendering me helpless to my parents’ whims and the oddness this Nation televises every four years: The Democratic Convention.

Politics often mystify me, even though I try to learn as much as I can from a few different outlets, so I was prepared to feel stupid in the wake of so much government and strategy mumbo jumbo (plus, I was taking a lot of pain meds the last three nights…they make the world seem complicated). But instead of feeling like a lame invalid who knows nothing, I felt something stronger rising up in my chest (and no it was not barf) — I felt laughter. Incredulous laughter at the sheer ridiculous of this political phenomenon.

If you haven’t caught the Convention yet — and you really should because stupid or not it is history — let me break down how most of the speeches go:

Democrat (usually a Senator, Senator’s wife, or, if it was last night, the Vice Presidential nominee): I am proud (applause) of being a Democrat (GIANT APPLAUSE) and thanks to all of you (applause) for being such damn good human beings (applause) and believing that this country has turned to sh*t under Republican rule! (GIANT APPLAUSE). Barak (applause) Obama (APPLAUSE) is our future (Applause lasting 5 minutes) and John McCain (boos) loves Bush (GIANT BOOS) and is old (applause) and wants to stay in the old way of thinking. (boos) YES BARAK OBAMA!! (Giant applause and shot of Bill Clinton with his mouth open)

Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the speeches are inspiring, but I find the abundance of sheer joy and clapping sounds to be just slightly over the ridiculous line. Add in countless media journalists spending hours turning over the same damn issue (“Will Hillary endorse Obama enough?” “Hillary needs to endorse Obama with spirit!” “If Hillary doesn’t endorse Obama enough, we’ll see those old wounds again…” “Hillary needs to lick her wounds and regroup.” “Do you think Bill Clinton is still pissed off?”), and you’ve got a three hour spectacle that is so full of pomp and pride I had to stop myself from grabbing a handful of meds and stuffing them into my mouth in an attempt to pass out.

I’m sure the Republican Convention will be just as full of redonk as the Democratic one, but you will never be able to convince me that three hours of clapping and blasting 90′s songs effects how individuals see candidates or parties. Maybe Barack will “change” things will his speech tonight, but if people continue to clap every .34 seconds, I’m turning on a rerun of “The Office.”

10 Comments on "Applause + Crazy Glasses + Redonk = The Democratic Convention"

  1. Cecca says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20087:10 am 

    Sweetheart, do all of us who give a rats ass a favor and stick to reviewing things you actually comprehend. Of all the myriad things to discuss about the convention and the current nature of politics, you choose the *clapping*? Even the sobbing Hilary supporters would have been of more note (though goodness knows the fools have gotten enough press coverage already). If you must make completely inane and uninformed remarks, at least make them on something amusing – the outfits alone are worth a dissection. Good luck on your recovery and hopefully you can return with a post about something you actually care about.

  2. J - NYU says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20087:25 am 

    I comprehended the thing quite well, and yes, the crying Hillary supporters are strange…but I truly believe this country needs to understand that over-enthusiastic applause is an epidemic.

    I would have enjoyed Biden's speech much better had he not be interrupted every couple of seconds. The guy has overcome so much. Could we not celebrate his achievements with golf claps?

  3. Lauren, University o says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20087:29 am 

    Cecca – I get that Thursdays are rough and you are tired and cranky, but instead of taking it out on a writer maybe you should just take a walk and relax a bit. The article was supposed to be funny. End of story.

  4. Cecca says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20087:38 am 

    Lauren – But it wasn't, it was inane. There are a million things to criticize about the convention: the outfits (one woman had a red, white & blue tiara; heck just look at the picture posted here), the fact that the song played after Obama was officially nominated was "Love Train," the color and sheen of Hilary's pantsuit, the fact that Beau Biden's speech made Joe seem like a cross between an action hero and a Lifetime movie heartthrob. But the writer chose to mock the enthusiastic response at an event which, aside from its procedural purpose, is a rally/media circus aimed at drumming up enthusiasm. One of the basic tenets of intelligent speech is if you can't bring something to the table, keep your mouth shut. I see inanity, I call inanity.

  5. Cecca says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20087:41 am 

    And by "criticize," I meant "mock." Where's an edit button when you need it?

  6. S.T says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20088:28 am 

    Cecca,

    It seems like you and J are saying the same thing: the Convention is pretty ridiculous. You choose the outfits and pompous speeches, and J choose a funny look at the often inane (admit it) clapping.

    Besides this article being funny, what the writer really seems to be saying is that these rallies are pure spectacle. Aren't you saying the same thing?

    Plus, how is talking about the outfits any less trivial than talking about the clapping?

  7. Marisa - high school senior says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 200811:50 am 

    I’m always game for a rerun of The Office, but I’m loving the convention. I think last night, when Hillary Clinton moved that Obama be nominated by acclamation, was an incredible moment in our nation’s history. So many people have reasons to be happy on the verge of delirious glee – so many people never thought they would see the day when an African American would be a serious candidate for president. I think it’s the media coverage on the convention that’s making the convention’s atmosphere seem over-the-top. There certainly is a lot of energy in Denver, but I wouldn’t call it ridiculous. I think the emotions on the floor of the convention are perfectly justified; now is our chance to take back the White House and finally get our nation on the right track.

  8. J - NYU says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 200812:00 pm 

    Marisa, I agree that Hillary and Barack are history in the making, and I’m prouder of this nation than I have been in a while….but the clapping.must.STOP.

  9. Marisa - high school says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20081:36 pm 

    "I would have enjoyed Biden’s speech much better had he not be interrupted every couple of seconds."

    Jess, on that point I agree with you. When the clapping interrupts the speech at inopportune moments, it gets annoying. But there are times when it is appropriate to "interrupt" a speech with applause – the speakers are prepared for that, and write their speeches with that in mind. These speeches are meant to galvanize the audience.

    I have to say, though, I loved when Bill said, "Stop!" so that he could start his speech. :-)

  10. heather says:
    Thu, 28th Aug 20082:38 pm 

    who cares if its a bit ridiculous at times?

    i admit, the reporters are very annoying. but really, the point of the convention is to rev everyone up so-to-speak, and it worked for me. im a democrat, and after seeing it, i was very excited for the election, and started making all these weird decisions like how im going to dress totally in blue the day of and after the election. it was just a good few days of inspration, getting excited, and getting silly, all while seeing history in the making.

Tell us what you're thinking...