Boxing Should Be the New Beer Pong

August 30, 2008     Posted in Reality

franzia.jpgI remember my life before I discovered Franzia and its wine-in-a-box counterparts. I was developing a hunchback from lugging a backpack full of Keystone cans around campus, hopping from dorm party to dorm party. Or, I would spend an arm and a leg on bottles of Bacardi (and the mixers to go with it), only to go through a whole bottle in one night after my friends had passed shots around the room.


By Kathryn S

At some point during my college career, I discovered that wine is stronger than beer and more consistent than mixed drinks, which are super weak at many stingy bars.

Wine became my go-to drink.

When I moved into an apartment with a fellow wino, we quickly realized that even 1.5 liter bottles of wine went too quickly, so to save gas on packy runs, we became avid boxers.

Boxed wine is completely underrated by many collegiates across the country. In the wine world, Franzia may have a bad rap, but come on; we’re college students. We have no money. We drink a lot. And we aren’t opposed to drinking Dubra when times are tight, so why exclude boxed wine from our list of libations?

In many states, wine comes in 5-liter boxes. That’s FIVE LITERS of booze for about $15. Depending on how much (or how little) you drink, that can easily be split throughout the night between you and your five closest friends, or you can suck it down yourself and not worry about another liquor run for a week or two. If you can’t find a 5-liter box, you’ll still be set with the “smaller” size box, which contains three liters of fermented grapes.

Heaven.

Instead of filling a water bottle with Captain and Coke and hoping the rum-soda ratio is strong enough to give you a buzz, but not so hard you black out after three sips, fill a bottle or two with boxed wine! It’s easy to transport, and you won’t have to shell out extra money for mixers. (On a side note, Chardonnay is the strongest white wine, so if you are looking for a party, skip the Sunset Blush.)

Even if you forego the ghetto water bottles and just lug the box around all night, it’s got a handle, and the box will get significantly lighter as the evening progresses. Just ask my roommate, who took a full 5-liter box of Sangria to a party and proceeded to drink it dry in one night (and lived to tell the tale).

The best part about boxed wine is that, like beer, it has inspired a plethora of party games. You can take the plastic bag of vino out of the box and have someone hold it for you and twist the spout for an insta-wine funnel. A variation of this sport is “Slapping the Bag,” in which you (or your friend) repeatedly – you guessed it – slaps the bag while you chug. This sounds odd, to say the least, but it’s so popular that the term “slap the bag” has become synonymous with the action of drinking wine in a box.

Cheap, portable and tasty? Maybe you should give boxed wine a try.

14 Comments on "Boxing Should Be the New Beer Pong"

  1. klynn says:
    Sat, 30th Aug 200812:19 pm 

    [i write this as a mostly empty box of wine sits on my desk from last night]

    at my school "slap the bag" has been replaced by "slap the bitch" and can be seen any given night. it's wonderful & i agree highly underrated in most places

  2. Jill says:
    Sat, 30th Aug 20082:28 pm 

    I discovered the joys of wine this summer. I went to a party without booze because I didn't intend on drinking.

    My friend offered me a glass of wine. Tasty, sweetened, $13-per-bottle wine.

    I had two glasses of that and I was done like dinner. Good stuff.

    Boxed wine, you say? I'll definitely be looking into that.

  3. Amy says:
    Sat, 30th Aug 20082:45 pm 

    The first time I ever funneled was with boxed wine… 2 funnels and I was blacked out. But bottling it up and bringing it in to a good comedy at the movie theaters… not a bad idea.

  4. J - NYU says:
    Sun, 31st Aug 20085:45 am 

    Boxed wine hangovers are pretty much the worst things I have ever experienced.

  5. Lauren, University o says:
    Sun, 31st Aug 20086:02 am 

    I slapped teh bag yesterday afternoon followed by a nice, tasty Boones farm.

    Pretty much the best day ever.

  6. laika says:
    Sun, 31st Aug 20086:36 am 

    tour de franzia is pretty much the best game ever.. with or without a team.

  7. Laura says:
    Sun, 31st Aug 20084:34 pm 

    I was introduced to the box (well bag) of wine when my friends were pretty drunk of of my hard liquor and started playing 'slap the bag' with a friend's wine; tough their version included having to yell some dirty names at the bag while slapping it. It turned out pretty interesting seeing as they were pretty drunk, and two of the people spoke English as a second language.

  8. ela says:
    Mon, 1st Sep 20088:50 am 

    hate the taste of wine? here's a european tip: mix a cup of red wine with some coke or white with orange fanta…datz how we do!

  9. Alan says:
    Mon, 1st Sep 20084:47 pm 

    I my self have known the tasty nature for wine for some time. However until recently i have only had it for dinner. But i have move to the box wine and Champagne party goer. One its very cheep and two it gets you drunk fast, all of which in enjoy.

    YA! for box wine!

  10. B-Rad says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20087:16 pm 

    I have had the great times of getting drunk off of wine but if you are a college student like me and have no money… you should look into MAKING your own wine. You can make it strong as shit and it cost about $6 for a gallon. Just search it on youtube.. making wine on a budget. all u need is frozen welches grape juice concentrate sugar and yeast (you can use bakers yeast if u want) all these can be found at the grocery story.

  11. SlapHappy says:
    Wed, 15th Apr 200910:14 am 

    also try twisting the bag and have a friend hold it while you slap and turn the bag until its straightened out

  12. Susan says:
    Sun, 26th Jul 20093:32 pm 

    I chugged half a bag of wine at a frat party once, and before that epic night I'd only ever been able to get through a couple of sips. Boxed wined is the cheapest way to get you completely sh*tfaced. It goes down easy, and comes up just the same.

  13. mollination says:
    Sun, 17th Oct 20109:06 pm 

    LOL! I love you for this story – and every word of it is true college sisters.

Tell us what you're thinking...