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Get Out of my Tube: The 5 Worst People on TV
I was raised, essentially, without TV. I use the word ‘essentially’ because we did have a TV. We just also had extremely conservative republican parents filtering everything that we watched on the total of 2 or 3 channels that we received with our antenna on the top of our TV. (One of those channels was, conveniently, The Christian Network where I was routinely made to watch The 700 Club.)
So, needless to say, TV wasn’t a big part of my childhood. That was fine by me; I spent my time outside and learning how to play guitar.
When I moved out and into dorms at 18, I still didn’t watch TV much. I think there was one in my dorm, but I wouldn’t have noticed either way. It just wasn’t a part of my life. But when I moved in with new roomies in a real apartment when I was 19, everything changed. Not only did we have a TV, but we had every channel (not to mention On Demand and, mmmm, DVR). I learned to love TV.
In fact, I’m watching it right now.
Since I have spent a few years getting to know the ins and out of this tube and the entertainment that it so benevolently offers me, I have noticed that there are some very bad people on TV. And I love lists. So, naturally, I made a list of the worst people on TV.
1. Heidi Montag. You suck. Not only have you clearly devoted your life to looking like Barbie and dating a douchier version of Ken, but you are also retardedly incompetent and talentless. Congrats, Heidi. (Note: Tied for#1 is her douchier version of Ken, Spencer Pratt. Get a job and get out of my life.)
2. Blair Waldorf. You might just be a fiction character, Blair Waldorf (like Heidi isn’t?), but your character blows. You are a very mean girl who has nothing to do with her life. The sad thing is that girls, like my current roommate, think you’re actually someone to emulate. Puke.
3. Celia Hodes. I love the show Weeds, Celia, but you are definitely not why. Your trainwreck of a character is a walking double-standard, an ache in my viewer’s side. Basically, you’re a hot mess. You’re a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad friend, a bad worker. WTF are you good at? I hate you.
4. Carlos Mencia. You are not funny. You are not funny. You are not funny. Not only are you not funny, but you’re annoying. The 15 minutes I once spent trying to get your annoying voice out of my head might have been my worst 15 minutes of my life. Thank you.
5. Ali Lohan. We don’t need another Lohan in our faces. It’s simple. And on top of that, you’re not your sister (though you sure do try). Why don’t you finish high school and then go find a life of your own?
Anyone else who makes you want to claw your eyes out? Elizabeth Hasselback? Oprah Winfrey? Alex Trebek?
[Photo from: seat42f.com]
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Stephanie says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200810:48 am
What the bloody hell is wrong with CC these days?
Can we get some half-way decent(AT LEAST!)writers and articles please?!?
Kay says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200811:02 am
I love Alex Trebek
Ashley says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200811:08 am
It's Celia Hodes, not Cecilia…
Lauren, University o says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200811:22 am
I dont really hate Blair that much anymore. She is awesome to watch.
Adelle says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200811:27 am
How can you say that about Blair, it's who she is because of the effects of the environment and culture she grew up in, just like some ppl…
J - NYU says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200812:35 pm
Celia Hodes is actually pretty annoying as a character right now…she used to have a lot of spunk…now she's just a hot mess. Clean her up!!
Amber - Old Dominion says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200812:46 pm
Hey don't attack the CC writers!!! Ali Lohan should never be in the public eye, ever.
Mandy A. says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200812:58 pm
I love Blair Waldorf! If you're going to go on attack like that, you should at least come up with better reasons than "You suck" and "I hate you" and "You are a very mean girl." That's Blair's character: she's the ice queen. She's entertaining unlike… This article didn't make me think, laugh, or even want to see the author's point of view.
Jill says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 20081:59 pm
Sarah Silverman.
Carina says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 20082:24 pm
ooh ill ditto silverman, not a fan
Kathryn S says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 20085:00 pm
I hate Juliet on "Lost." She makes me want to throw up in my mouth. And then Charlotte appeared last season, and her face is more excruciating than nails on a chalkboard. I can't wait for the writers to kill them off!
Lizz says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 20085:40 pm
Blair? Really? Come on now.
It's the culture she was brought up in, cut her some slack.
Other then that I agree with everyone else.
Even though Heidi used to be chill until she met Spencer.
Amanda says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 20086:26 pm
When I saw the picture of Blair next to an article titled "Get Out of my Tube: The 5 Worst People on TV" my jaw dropped. Are you serious? Have you watched more than just the first five episodes of season one? There have been 14 episodes since, during which we've seen the vulnerable side of Blair. She's a little piece of everyone of us, she's the girl that says and does what no one else has the balls to say and do.
ela says:
Wed, 3rd Sep 200811:51 pm
kim kardashian & clique. 'the girls next door'. and topanga doing 'the dish' on E! ugh PUKE.
Tara says:
Thu, 4th Sep 20086:00 pm
I love Blair. She knows not to let people step all over her, like they do in the real world. Shes a good role model in sticking up for yourself and not let people take advantage of you!
annie says:
Fri, 5th Sep 20084:09 pm
Love love Blair. She's only mean because in her experience, every time she's trusted someone, they've only let her down and turned their back on her. It's a kind of front she puts up. It makes me love her character even more because she's more than just what she appears to be. And it makes her entertaining to watch.
But a definite yes to Heidi Montag and Ali Lohan.
heather says:
Sat, 6th Sep 20087:44 am
bill o'reilly. not for his views, i just cant stand the way he conducts his show… its rare for him to make educated statements.
example: he stated that birth control was a choice, and shouldnt be covered by health care for medical conditions (um hell endimetriosis? pelvic inflammatory disease?) oh yeah, and he thinks viagra should be covered cause ED is a medical condition. i think both should be covered, but endimetriosis can be life-threatening, while ED isnt.
Tia says:
Tue, 16th Sep 20081:19 pm
SPENCER PRATT.
nuff said.
carolina says:
Wed, 24th Sep 20089:12 pm
Heidi Montag… TOTALLY!! no talent, ugly as hell, total airhead, ugly and useless boyfriend… I agree, she is total trash. Even Lauren annoys me sometimes. This people have no talents, just money to go out and party. I guess Lauren at least can desing cute clothes.
Blair Waldorf… ARE YOU KIDDING???? I think you should take that back. GG would be nothing without her. The show would be over. She is mean (I know) but she is so fun to watch and she can be nice too. She is so pretty and have some balls at the same time, you have to love her.
Rosalyn says:
Sat, 27th Sep 200812:29 pm
Blair Waldorf???Are you *beep*ing crazy?!I know you grew up without TV,but without Blair,GG would be nothing!I hate Blair too,but if you have seen the whole season 1,you would see a vulnerable side of her,like her father being gay,not having a real relationship,her best friend kissing Nate.I guess in order to defend herself,she has to be mean.BLAIR AND CHUCK FOREVER!!!