Eat, Drink and Be Merry: Best Drunk Foods

September 12, 2008     Posted in Body

drunk eatingEating whilst drunk is, in general, about as smart as sexing up strangers whilst drunk or calling ex-boyfriends whilst drunk, which is to say not very smart at all.


By CC Staff

All the same, when I’ve consumed large amounts of alcohol, I’m going to go across the street and get chicken tenders from Whataburger. It’s just something that is inevitably going to happen, like Christmas every year, like my period every month (knock on wood), like my g*ddamn alarm clock going off every morning.

Because there is no single more satisfying aspect of the drinking experience than eating a lukewarm chicken tender at 2:30 in the morning. The nuanced interplay between the textures of chicken and breading somehow melds perfectly with the taste of Guinness that still lingers in my mouth.

That isn’t to say, of course, that other cravings don’t arise in my drunken state. Here are some other drunk food favs:

Potato Chips - Usually Sour Cream and Onion, which causes a serious breath issue in the morning (Onion + Alcohol=another reason to vomit). At the time, though, (like so many other things) it really seems like a great idea. Potato chips are usually pretty filling, you usually already have some at your house so you don’t have to drive around to find an open store to buy them (unless you live in a legitimate city and can simply walk outside for food) and they are fairly portable. By this I mean, you can’t very well bring your Chalupa into bed with you as you pass out. Or at least you really shouldn’t. I’ve passed out with my hand in a bag of chips before. Some would call that a cry for help, I would have called it being prepared.

Fast Food – I know this category seems pretty broad, but think about the times that you’ve been drunk and someone is driving you home. You pick up your head to look out the window, or get some fresh air, or relieve yourself of the alcohol you’ve consumed and pretty much the first fast food restaurant you see makes you want food from that restaurant intensely. When I see that Wendy’s sign, absolutely nothing in the world – no other restaurant, no person, nothing – will satisfy me but a number 9. That’s all I want and I will not be able to go to sleep/pass out until I get it.

Pizza – Cold, or fresh. The way the cheese and breading settles in your stomach sort of makes you think that it’s soaking up the alcohol and all the grease sort of makes you sleepy. Pizza is great for the night of casual drinking with friends, where you somehow all end up drunk without realizing it. When you do realize it, of course, you get hungry. What are you going to do but call up any of the 50 pizza places on or around campus?

All that being said, it’s important to note that eating whilst drunk, while greatly satisfying at the time, is a bad idea because you shouldn’t be eating at all that late at night, especially such fatty foods, and, according to Go Ask Alice, eating while drunk and sick can actually make you feel sicker. A good rule of thumb is to eat before you go out so you can fill up and absorb alcohol better when you do drink. And, on a personal note, know that Guinness and cheese dip should never, ever mix.

What is your favorite drunk food? Have any tips on forgoing drunken snacking?

11 Comments on "Eat, Drink and Be Merry: Best Drunk Foods"

  1. Erin says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 20089:55 am 

    Ihop is amazing when you're drunk.

  2. ela says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 200810:51 am 

    chips and salsa. end of story. bonus: melted cheese on top if you can stumble around the microwave w/o spilling shit everywhere.

  3. Julie says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 200811:44 am 

    I knew someone that literally every Thursday and/or Friday she would hit the same club in town. Thursdays were Ladies Night and Friday was $3.00 night (cover and drinks) so she could get schnockered for fairly cheap. And inevitably, on one or both nights, she would end up at Steak n Shake. Which is apparently only second to Krystals in the drunk food category in our town.

  4. Callie says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 200812:35 pm 

    three words: mac & cheese pizza. it never fails to be the best drunk food you will ever eat!

  5. Laura says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 200812:59 pm 

    Five Guys french fries are a must-have.

    If you are in cheese mood, loaded nachos with guacamole, sour cream and salsa dips are amazingg.

    Strangely enough, baked potatoes with sour cream and butter are great drunk foods.

    The best advice? Share with friends, it'll cost you less and it will cut down on the amount of food you would drunkenly scarf down if you were on your own.

  6. Kelsi says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 20085:17 pm 

    For me a huge thing of nachos, done up with everything, and a group of equally starving, drunk friends are a perfect ending to any night out. Just watch that you don't crash with any of the cheese in your hair… that stuff cements overnite.

  7. C says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 20085:30 pm 

    The way you are with Wendy's, I am with Taco Bell. Once you see that sign it becomes a mission to get it! Another drunk food love of mine is cheetos dipped in peanut butter. It sounds disgusting, but when you're drunk it is AMAZING!

    Hangover remedy – I get really bad room spins the next morning. A trick for them is to hang 1 foot off the edge of the bed. I don't know why, but it somehow stops your brain from doing 360's. Oh yea, and when you're really dehydrated but still feel to sick to drink liquids, Pedialyte freezer pops not only hydrate you with electrolytes, but are easy to suck on.

    Hope those help!

  8. Alison says:
    Fri, 12th Sep 20088:53 pm 

    CANES! There's a place on my campus called Raisin' Cane's and they only sell chicken fingers, toast, fries, and coleslaw. You go in there around 2 on a friday or saturday night and you may have to wait an hour but it's worth it!

  9. Nat says:
    Mon, 15th Sep 20087:01 am 

    One word: CALZONE.

  10. Amanda says:
    Mon, 15th Sep 20087:09 am 

    FAT SANDWICHES from the GREASE TRUCKS!!! you probably would NEVER be able to eat one of these sober, due to the amount of junk on them and how huge they are, but when you are drunk they are a necessity (at least at Rutgers, where I went to college!)

    My favorite has chicken fingers, french fries, mozzarella sticks, and honey mustard.

    If you somehow don't know what I'm talking about, check out the link:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grease_Trucks

  11. James says:
    Sat, 10th Jan 20093:38 pm 

    well i think that this should be rethought to separate the genders. im drunk right now, and as i came home i found a glorious bag of potato chips. i thought whether or not it would make me feel sick, so i checked this site. i ate them all. them i feel sick. i think it may be different for males and females. excuse my while i get some water to try and allow myself to pass out without puking…

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