Anyone got tips to toughen up?

btw – can be true about some women – I remember being reduced to tears by the bosses wife at a previous job.

Women see other women as a threat and go after them in the workplace. Right? Right. But men see other men (and women) as threats too. Men are just more comfortable with it. If you want something, you have to do what’s necessary to get it. That doesn’t mean cheating or lying (at least it shouldn’t) but you shouldn’t feel bad for working harder and demanding more than the woman next to you. You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t. Sometimes you ‘re going to be perceived as the bitch, but it’s not just because you’re a woman (although it no doubt sometimes is), it’s because you’re successful when someone else isn’t. It’s no different than the man being perceived as the arrogant asshole, it’s just different words.

I got promoted about a year ago. Most of the women I worked with in my former department and position wanted the same job and were really bitter that it was given to me. However, not a single one of them tried for the job! Eventually one woman confronted me, bitching at me really, and said it was bullshit that I got the job and she didn’t. I asked her “did you apply for the job, did you ever TALK to the creative director about it?” She said no. Well what the hell are you mad at me for then, be mad at yourself.

Just last night I was out with my boss. He is a VERY demanding director, and I have more responsibilities than I should in my current position. And that’s just how I like it. I told him that sometimes I can tell that he holds back a bit, and that I don’t want him to do that. If I’m going to get better at what I do and be prepared for the next company and set of assholes I go to, he needs to just let me have it. He flat out said (even as one of the least chauvinistic men I’ve ever met) that if I were a guy, he would be harder on me because if I were a guy I would fight harder. He’s right, but that’s one of the most important things I’ve learned in a long time. Fighting for what I’m doing and what I want is OK. I’m not “crossing the line” and if I do, he’s damn sure to let me know.

My advice (as a woman still learning): Man-up. Balls to the wall. No one wants to be perceived as the “bitch,” but what’s more important to you?

The good news: times are changing. We have role models now. Although I may not agree with all her politics, Hillary is a fantastic example of toughness. Angelina Jolie uses her fame and glamour to help people. Oprah…need I say more?

In almost every industry, there is an iconic woman who did it the right way. Let's model ourselves after them, and not tear each other down over trivial bullshit like makeup, hair color, and outfits. We are just as smart (if not smarter), just as capable (if not more), and we DO have the toughness.

Be fearless, take risks, and most of all, believe in yourself!

…no hard feelings, I rather liked and appreciated the article.

I get hit on a LOT, and many times its extremely innapropriate.

However, as soon as it happens, I pull the guys aside (and usually into my boss' office so there's a witness and they cant go back and spread a lie & get you in trouble) and I assert my authority over them (not my boss, you have to stand up for yourself).

I'll stand there and in a forceful and yet professional tone, tell them what they did, how it was completely innappropriate for the office, and that that kind of attitude/language will not be tolerated.

Usually this results in them calling you a bitch behind your back, but they dont do the same shit twice.

Its frustrating, but rather than let people run over you and run your self-esteem into the ground, just assert yourself over them and show them that you are worth respecting, and you will usually be respected in return.

but thts ok

know why?

cause when work isnt busy i spend my day thinking of ways either she's gonna get screwed over

or how i would like to kill her

but hey a jobs a job & if she isnt gonna fire me after all tht.. ill stick wit it until i get a new one

but at least i can take comfort in the fact tht she treats the guys at my work even worse thn me.

This, along with you quitting over the clothing thing shows that you have no idea what you're talking about. Men are not respected off the bat. They get shat on the same as everyone else and have to work to prove themselves.

Instead of throwing yourself a pity party, try actually looking around once in a while.

just get the job done and work harder at it than everybody else, it's not that tough.