The Freshman Experience: Are Freshmen Forever Friends?

September 18, 2008 5:00 pm     Posted in Back to School, Reality  Kristine--Wellesley g+ page

friends.jpgI have been in college for almost a month, and so far my biggest problem is something I’ve done quite easily — making friends.


By Kristine

During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people – but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends?

The problem for me is that I do not know how to put myself out there — really let people know how I act around my old friends — without being ridiculous. I don’t think I am stifling my whole personality, but I am definitely holding back my love of cheesy Disney movies and my obsessive grammar corrections.

And so I now question as to whether my new friends are doing the same.

Are they truly this nice and smart and driven and friendly all the time? Because although they’re easygoing, they seem too normal and perfect to get along with a quirky kid like me. I almost wish there were a day where everyone could just let it out there, where I could burst into singing High School Musical 2 when someone asks, “What time is it?” Back home, that was my type of normal. As were sarcastic jokes, skipping down hallways and dancing without a care of how crazy I looked.

I know I will become more comfortable in time, but for now I feel as if I am showing the simple side of Kristine to my dozens of generically nice buddies. I am looking for a little more than that. For now, I am trying to act as normal as possible. Maybe soon I will find that my type of normal fits in just fine here.

7 Comments on "The Freshman Experience: Are Freshmen Forever Friends?"

  1. Beth says:
    Thu, 18th Sep 200812:34 pm 

    Same here. I just started a month ago and pretty much the only people I'm really friends with are all in the same little section of my hall. Some of them I think I'll continue my friendships with, but a lot of others are just kind of…there. I don't know, haha, I need to meet more people outside of my hall!

  2. Lauren, University o says:
    Thu, 18th Sep 200812:48 pm 

    Don't worry! The first month of school is hard, but if you get involved in activites, make an effort to reach out to new people and just continue to be yourself you will find your true friends. I am still best friends with the girls i met freshman year and will be forever.

  3. snarktastic says:
    Thu, 18th Sep 20081:08 pm 

    seriously don't worry about it. i was decidedly not friends with the same people freshman year and the rest of my college experience. it takes some time to develop actual friendships and think about it this way: not everyone deserves a friend like you [provided you're not a total douchebag deluxe].

    things change, people change, focus on studying for now and the rest will work out on its own.

  4. Allison says:
    Fri, 19th Sep 20081:33 am 

    Everyone experiences the same thing you are right now- very few of the people I knew freshman year are still in my current circle. Everyone is eager to make connections, so they all reach out to grab as many people as they can.

    Things start to calm down when you know them and after awhile realize what you do- and don’t- have in common. You’ll find people with the same love of cheesy Disney movies (lord knows I did) it just takes some time to feel comfortable enough to show that side of yourself again. Once you do, someone else is bound to pipe up and say “I thought I was the only one!”

  5. Anna says:
    Mon, 22nd Sep 20081:10 pm 

    I am feeling the EXACT same way. It's gotten to a point where I'm questioning whether or not this school is where I belong. It's so frustrating.

    I know that there is SO much more time to meet the people that I want/need to be friends with, I mean we've only been here for a little over a month. But I want to know them now… I feel like I was really lucky in high school to have found the group that I did, the goofy, fun, amazing people that accept me exactly as I am, and I'm worried that I won't find that again.

    But realistically, I think it's just a matter of waiting it out (even though I'm sure you, like me, are tired of waiting). You sound like a great person, and I think that good friends will come in time. Maybe try joining more clubs, but focus on things that are REALLY important and interesting to you, because the people will there will at least share your interests. That's what I've been trying, although I've only met a few people that way- the clubs are really big, still.

    Good luck, I hope that everything works out for you!

  6. Madalyn says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 20081:25 am 

    Anna: You have perfectly described my situation right now. . . I’ve been looking at other schools, contemplating transferring because I really don’t have any friends.

    Now, though, I think I’ll stay right where I am. . . If you guys can get through it, so can I! :)

  7. holly says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 20081:51 am 

    "singing High School Musical 2 when someone asks, “What time is it?”"-

    LOL

    we are kindred spirits, I can't resist exploding into song and dance when someone asks me that (you know pump both arms in the air and bring one down like a clock hand…)

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