The Nine Types of College Drinker

September 19, 2008 6:00 pm     Posted in HaHa, Other Stories  Lauren - University of Michigan g+ page

girl_beer_bongs_16.jpgRecently, the Department of Health in England conducted a study of heavy drinkers to find out why they drink. Through a series of focus groups (which is probably the last place a hungover person wants to be) the health professionals concluded that heavy drinkers fall into 9 basic categories.


By Lauren

They outlined their conclusion here.

A lot of the categories overlap, and many categories aren’t included (“It tastes so good,” for example. Or, “I love that cotton mouth feeling in the morning!”). However, I found the study to be interesting and somewhat applicable to the average college lady. Personally, I have fallen into every one of these categories…in a single weekend, but maybe this thing has some merit.

Any maybe my mom was right: “Lauren, no one puts beer in their cereal. You have a problem.”

The report was written for a British man, so I took it upon myself to bring you the facts in words you, a college coed, would understand. Which group do you fall into? Which group do you want to fall into? And why is everyone all “you have a problem” all the time?!

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4 Comments on "The Nine Types of College Drinker"

  1. Kathryn S says:
    Fri, 19th Sep 20081:50 pm 

    Oh, crap. I fit into like five of those categories.

  2. Kaley says:
    Fri, 19th Sep 20082:04 pm 

    Definitely boredom…I don't drink to destress (I'd rather drink my elixir of life, Diet Coke) and I can't say most of my friends drink to bond (fortunately or unfortunately, I don't know).

  3. ela says:
    Fri, 19th Sep 200811:32 pm 

    i went to a city school so drinking was like a whole diff ball game. what about the bottle poppers? they save up all week to blow like 2 Gs at a table in a so so club and have little byatches running around them for free drinks from their middle grade vodka. (i say 'so so' and

    'middle grade' bc they don't realize how big of a rip off it is- they are blinded by the attention)

  4. Edwin says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20114:30 pm 

    I guess I never thought of it as boredom, but I found the only way I could sit and watch TV with friend(s), is to have a drink, and one turns to two, etc. Reading the above, yes it is boredom.

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