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Overheard On Campus: “Freshmen?!”
September 21, 2008 Posted in HaHa
[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the wierdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]
Strange, silly and awkward things overheard on campus this week:
- A lanky blonde man leans against a doorway, talking to a short-haired brunette.
“She’s really… nice, you know?” He shakes his head. “I mean, I just wanted someone to care about.”
“But a freshman?” she asks, feigning surprise. “Really!“
“Yeah. It was like fishing with dynamite.”
- Two grizzled, swarthy males stand in the dining hall.
“Man, I can’t believe there aren’t any forks,” remarks one, his thick lower lip turned in a pout. He moves one finger toward his collar unconsciously.
His friend looks sadly at the empty racks. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t even know anyone who uses spoons.”
- Across the dining hall, a guy stands up and starts singing “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” from Mulan . About three quarters of the table joins in within seconds. One other guy grabs his tray, gets up and stalks away. “I thought we were done with this,” he says, darkly.
- Down the hallway, a pink-faced man is tying a lumpy plastic bag to a door. As I pass by, he looks up and smiles conspiratorially.
“It’s ladybugs,” he says.
- A punky blonde girl and redhaired boy – they look like a couple – are sitting with some others at a cafe table.
“But honestly,” says the boy, looking around the table. “Who sleeps with freshmen?”
As he looks back at the girl, she’s pointing straight at him. He shrugs.
- A professor, standing at the head of a class on prejudice and discrimination:
“Entries should be one page minimum, 12 point font. And please don’t write these drunk.”
“But what if you’re out drinking and someone says something racist?” asks a student in the back. “And you just have to write about it, but you won’t remember in the morning?”
The professor thinks about it for a minute. “Then I would take notes,” she says.
(Incidentally, the same professor suggested “gatorade and rice” as the best hangover cure.)
- Outside a dorm, three guys are sitting on the steps. They look sad about something
“Man, this sucks, dude, I’m so hungry.”
“Yeah,” says another. The smell of marijuana is thick in the air.
“F*ckin’ sucks,” the third says, mournfully.
At their feet, Lucky Charms are scattered about the steps.
Tell us what you're thinking...
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Kaley says:
Sun, 21st Sep 200812:15 pm
I love these. There is a Facebook group for my campus called "Overheard at IU" and it's absolutely my favorite group.
Hilary says:
Sun, 21st Sep 200812:24 pm
- Across the dining hall, a guy stands up and starts singing “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” from Mulan . About three quarters of the table joins in within seconds. One other guy grabs his tray, gets up and stalks away. “I thought we were done with this,” he says, darkly.
LOLLLLLLLL
Grady says:
Sun, 21st Sep 200812:26 pm
Yes! We have one at my college as well called "Overheard at Bennington" …wayyy good!
I have one too:
One girl while walking by on the telephone: "You're not a slut! You just…make promiscuous choices…"
ela says:
Sun, 21st Sep 200812:33 pm
LOL who even USES spoons haha
Meagan - Mizzou says:
Sun, 21st Sep 200812:33 pm
Yeah, we have a group on facebook called, "Overheard at Mizzou." I think it is funnier to read ones from your own campus, though, because you can actually picture where it happened and to whom.
Though these are quite enjoyable!
Ellie says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20081:51 pm
My only problem with this is that there's way too much descriptive detail…if you go to the original overheard website, overheard in new york, look at the way they write them. they're always funnier when they're more script-like and less story-like
still, nice job
a says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20081:57 pm
love this!
snarktastic says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20085:06 pm
“dude, you need to come hang out. there’s this emo girl that moved next door.” “is she hot?” “not the point, come laugh at her with me.” “how’s sunday?”
Allison says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20083:50 pm
Told to me by a friend:
At our semi-annual poster sale, two guys are looking at a print of Andy Warhol's soup can.
"Dude, is this photoshopped?"
"I dunno."
It breaks my heart.
But the "I'll Make a Man Out of You" is apparently going around- we get random choruses of it here too.
Jess says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20085:40 pm
I’m from Mizzou too!
Stephanie says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20084:21 pm
I agree with the comment about Overheard in NY–it's on my bookmarks — one of my favorite sites.
but..lmao @ the "I'll Make A Man Out of You" one
Maria says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20088:14 pm
The two best ones I've heard so far:
"I've come to realize that I don't want a boyfriend, I just want someone to spoon with."
and "You'd better suck my dick like a clownfish."
Olua - Washington Co says:
Sun, 21st Sep 20088:59 pm
On our stirfry line, there were two freshmen behind me. One tells the stirfry chef that she will be right back, scurries to the salad bar, then comes back with a plate full of green pepper slices and shredded cheddar cheese.
Cook: You want cheese in your stir-fry?
Freshman: …oh, I thought these were carrots!
Cook: (to me) …the freshmen are gonna need a lot of work this year.
Me: That's going to take a long time.
Freshman: *nervous laugh*
Kelsi says:
Mon, 22nd Sep 20083:59 pm
A girl down the hall from me had a really bad cold, and her friends were trying to convince her to go out. Her reply, "Man, I just need a bed and some drugs… wait.. does that make me a prostitute?"
molly says:
Mon, 22nd Sep 200810:39 pm
IN HUMAN SEXUALITY:
The chipper teacher is explaining fetish stuff…
Student: what's that called, you know, when people like to get peed on?
Professor: that's a golden shower. that one black rapper guy was into that….R Nelly.
Student: r Kelly?
Prof: that's the one. (at this point she turns and stares at the 2 huge black football players sitting in the front row.
"Oh! but it's not like everyone is into that or anything! I mean…Just the one….well probably more than that, but hopefully not you. But I mean if you do like that then that's great…"
Jill says:
Tue, 23rd Sep 20082:32 pm
My favorite one was "I don’t even know anyone who uses spoons.” That's awesome.
Abby says:
Wed, 24th Sep 200812:04 pm
lol I really got a kick over the boys' mourning over their lucky charms. "f-ing sucks" lol.
and "i'll make a man out of you"? so random! lol
really hope to hear more of these.
Davis says:
Sun, 5th Oct 20087:21 pm
Oh my goodness. The last one, with the stoners, basically sums up the worst thing that has happened to me thus far at school.
Eric McCloud says:
Mon, 6th Oct 20084:06 pm
At a restaurant:
Girl 1: Is that a $100 bill?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: Can I smell it?