Why Are Girls So Mean To Each Other?

September 23, 2008 - 12:00 pm By Elizabeth-Baruch College

Girls are constantly judging other girls.

Girls are terrible to each other.

Girls are each other’s own worst enemies.

But…WHY?

Why is it that guys can be each other’s brothers but girls can’t seem to get it together enough to be each other’s sisters? Why are girls so goddamn catty? Where is the love? Where is the loyalty?

I want answers and I want them now. Yes, I’m being serious. I have questions and I want answers. So, give em to me. Explain the reasoning behind this girl on girl hatred.

1. Why do girls call another girl pretty or skinny with a tone of disgust? You know what I’m talking about. Imagine this sentence being exchanged from one girl to another girl, about a girl passing on the street: “Oh my god…..she is so….skinny…(or, if you prefer, skinnnnayyyyy).” Why the attitude problem?

2. Why do girls call other girls sluts? Any girl who has thought about the meaning of the word ‘SLUT’ knows it is offensive. The thinking girl knows that this word can be used to describe a woman who flirts with another woman’s boyfriend or a woman who has slept with people she didn’t love. The thinking girl knows that there is no definition to this word and that it is hurtful to all women alike, so why do some girls say it?

3. Why are girls so judgmental? Why do you have to break down 1,000,000 walls before a girl will let you in to be her friend? I feel like tons of my friends sit at the bar ready to claw any girl who is nice to them. What does a girl have to do to make some freakin’ girl friends?

4. Why do girls assume that every girl their boyfriend and/or aspiring lover is friends with is either f*cking him or wants to f*ck him? Girls should know better than anyone that we can be friends with a boy without wanting to do him. So why don’t girls give other girls this benefit of the doubt?

5. Why do girls gossip? Why do girls swear they can keep a secret just so they can have dirt to tell everyone else? Why are girls such bad friends to each other sometimes?

I want to know your answers.

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21 Comments   Posted in Reality
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21 Comments on "Why Are Girls So Mean To Each Other?"

  1. Sam says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 200812:45 pm 

    Girls are lame. This is exactly why I stick with having male friends.

  2. Jade says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20081:07 pm 

    I agree, i remember telling a friend of mine a very personal secret and within a week everyone knew, and she was “so sorry”.

    I must say i do prefer male friends when it comes to judgement and gossip.

  3. Rovelyn says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20082:26 pm 

    There’s no such thing as a “sisterhood” and men are just as or even worse than women. Also, women do the same thing as we do. Don’t just make this about women.

  4. Rovelyn says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20082:26 pm 

    correction:

    Also, MEN do the same thing as we do.

  5. J says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20082:58 pm 

    I don’t have drama with my close girl friends…I understand that other girls do, but I don’t get it. Perhaps you just haven’t found the right niche of friends yet.

  6. jes says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20083:12 pm 

    I agree, I’ve always had guy friends, and never really been close to any girls…

    Its really sad, and I feel odd sometimes, but I just cant seem to get with the whole ‘bonding’ thing. I dunno. I have no problem making close friendships with guys, but I always feel uncomfortable around most girls. :(

    I even went out of my way to be girly and try to be one girl’s friend and she completely talked shit about me to her boyfriend 24/7. Although she was the creepy one who called me nonstop.

    I just dont get it… oh well. :(

  7. jes says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20083:14 pm 

    I guess I should mention she was completely in love with my boyfriend and made all kinds of crazy ‘he doesn’t love me’ cds and crap too.. she even played one for me on a road trip once.

    creepy.

  8. Kaley says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20085:03 pm 

    Ha, I definitely know guys gossip. Everyone does. (Well, not everyyyyone, forgive me for generalizing.)

  9. Jill says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20087:20 pm 

    Oh man. This guy I’m “involved” with was talking to another girl in our class the other day and I thought my head might explode.

    I felt terrible afterwards.

    Would I have felt so terribly jealous if the girl had been fugly and at least heavier than me?

    Not a chance.

    What a terrible feeling.

    -J

  10. Emily says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20087:54 pm 

    What rule is there that says we have to be nice or even like other girls? I’m sorry to break your “sisterhood” idea but there is no such thing. There’s only an “every girl for herself” idea in the world. We’re only nice to each other if we can get something out of it.

  11. what says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 20089:02 pm 

    Might be a throw back to guys hunting in packs for a kill. A girl’s living being improved if shes with a tribe leader.

    Maybe… I really don’t know, all I do know is it’s stupid but girls do value their friendships more in general when they do get along.

  12. Shay says:
    Tue, 23rd Sep 200810:14 pm 

    Insecurity. People tend to put others down when they are insecure. They feel better about themselves when they point out the flaws in others.

    Society and culture tells us we have to be a certain way. TV…female violence towards eachother, everyone strives to be perfect weight not too skinny or fat etc;

    A womans brain is different than a mans. It’s proved that we are much more in-tune with emotion and show more empathy.

  13. Caroline says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 20081:11 am 

    I think about 85% of women have a pageant mentality to life. To them, there can only be a limited amount of slots to things, particularly social influence and men. It’s really pathetic of them and I’m glad more women are pointing it out.

  14. Mel says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 20083:09 am 

    Oh god…this makes me so sad. I got called a slut today, and it’s the first time I’ve actually heard somebody say it about me, though they didn’t say it to my face. I’m not, that’s all you need to know.

    All I can say is, I’ve never been a girl with girl friends, so i’ve never had opportunity to gossip much. But, man, I’m gonna be extra careful not to gossip.

    And I don’t understand how they can judge me. the girl who said the word doesn’t know me from Adam.

    i’m sooo pissed, i’m crying. i didn’t want to start a bitch fight, so after class i just turned to her and said, “do me a favour and don’t talk about me behind my back” (she was sitting right behind me).

    But I think it would have been better if I could deal with it the way guys supposedly do: “you, me, outside”. Then I wouldn’t be stuck with this horrible anger. I think that eliminates a lot of cattiness from boy’s interactions.

    Hey, sisters though, I’ll be your friend, I won’t stab you in the back. And I’ll fuck who I want to fuck without being a slut because I have a love for all of humankind, even though soulless bitches who attack me.

  15. Brittney says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 200812:37 pm 

    I gossip, but that’s about the only point listed that describes me. I agree though, I wish women were more loving towards others.

  16. ashley says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 20088:30 pm 

    wow I love how the first comment is “thats why i have more guy friends” but this really isn’t about your “girl” friends it’s more why are girls just mean in general. Yes every girl has done one thing on list list at least once but you wouldn’t do any of these things TO your friends, just WITH them lol.

  17. E says:
    Wed, 24th Sep 20088:43 pm 

    I used to wonder the same things, then I realized. Girls are just bitches. We all are, one way or another. Some are overt, blatant bitches and some are subtle, conniving bitches. You might not think you’re a bitch but when you think, “man, that girl is a slut… She slept with 3 different guys this week!” or “That girl is soo freaking skinny. I hate her!/I would kill to be that skinny…”, you’re being a bitch. In order to make female friends, you have to let go of your insecurities that causes you to think these thoughts. You have to have faith and trust that this girl will not stab you in the back. And only when you can be a friend too, then you’ll get a friend. The reason why many females find it easier to bond with males is because they don’t feel the competition that they feel with females. When you’re surrounded by guys, you can’t really mentally judge and compare yourself with them. It’s kind of hard to think, “Man, this guy has bigger boobs than me, so jealous!!” When you’re around guys, you let your guard down and become the friendly person that makes guys enjoy being around you, if you can act that way around girls, then you will find that it is easier and nicer to be around girls.

  18. C says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20083:29 am 

    In all fairness, girls judge guys pretty harshly too. We’re just not competing with them so we don’t vocalize it as much, but let’s not pretend that we don’t think “OMG he is too skinny” or “what a slut!” about guys too.

  19. Tiffany says:
    Sat, 27th Sep 20087:41 pm 

    Wow, what a bunch of pessimistic responses. It’s a little silly to be asking why are girls to mean to each other when you just judged the general female population. Why did YOU do that?

    I think we need to stop this illusion that girls are worse or bitchier than guys… Sorry, but girls aren’t the only ones who stab each other in the backs. You should see what guys will do when they like the same girl or just because of a girl.

    It IS insecurity, it IS human nature, but don’t go blaming /females/ and casting a halo over the heads of men. They hurt each other, too.

  20. patrick says:
    Thu, 19th Feb 200910:52 am 

    hey, i have more female friends than guys and anyone of them can bitch like crazy to anyone but then the next day be friends with them. You all do it! it’s mad. i think guy are way more loyal but that’s only cause they don’t give a crap if someone saying they’re to skinny or if they see a proper buff guy walking past. But if they do fall out then they stay fallen out with them and therefore are only friend with guys they really get along with.

    what i’ve seen is they’ll be a big group of girls. not everyone gets along, but yet they are nice to there faces just to keep the group together. but yet they’ll bitch about them behind there backs but they’re not bitching about there friends just girls they dont like.

    so it not really that bad.

    you all just need to relax and be more lay back tbh..

  21. kaybee says:
    Fri, 22nd May 200912:29 am 

    Bitch means a female dog in heat. The term is accurate for girls going into heat and competing for males. Women have tremendous sexual power and can and will use sex as a weapon. Not just against other women but him and herself as well. Once she secures a mate, she usually isn’t such a competitive conniving bitch anymore.

    The prettier and the smarter she is, all the meaner she is maligned by other women, so take it as a compliment if girls are mean to you. The meaner they are, the prettier and smarter you are. My Dad taught my brothers how to find the most beautiful women by following all the malicious gossip by the other girls. And she really does need a friend. If you think guys are being your “friend in need” we must talk about that. Believe me, he is hoping it gets to you so bad he gets some sympathy sex from you. When they grow up, the girls who didn’t really understand why they were so rotten do feel bad about being such a jealous bitch.

    Life evens the score and humbles us all. Yeah, and those insides catch up with the outsides in a hurry so if he or she is rotten inside, it doesn’t take much or long for it to show in a few years.

    I will walk a mile around men or women who talk trash and especially if it is about women. Misogyny and malicious gossip are red flags of toxic people. You can’t expect a healthy friendship or partnership out of a sicko. You get what you give. If you trash women, you attract women haters.

    There is nothing more beautiful on a woman than kindness and humanity. The doors are wide open all over the world and whereever you want to go in life if you know this beauty secret.

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