That aside, congratulations to all of you have recovered. I understand it's a long, hard process, and I respect your determination and dedication to health.

I know it is immenseley difficult to "recover" from an eating disorder. You are at a constant struggle with yourself, internal vs external.

I first developed Bulimia at 13 I was 5'6 150 lbs down to 120 due to sexual abuse and as I got older the disease over took me.

Then when I was 16 I developed Anorexia Nervosa. all I consumed for months at a time where grapefruit and carrot sticks me weight dropt from 125 to 95 in a span of 3 months.

It was the most painful and agonozing time in my life. Isolation, depression, and hoplessness where only a few words to describe this morbid abiss I had created for myself.

I finally was put into treatment and within the span of a year I was as "normal" as I think anyone with a history of an eating disorder can get. Up to 115 and stuggling still every day but not giving up.

I may have gone through treatment and gained the weight back, and have maintained a pretty normal body weight since then, but I still freak out over food, and cannot skip a day of working out. I look normal, and eat pretty normal… except my friends always comment how "healthy" I am. It's more of a fear. I still fear getting fat, still fear showing off my body, still fear certain foods.

Your experience is very similar to mine. We have to stick together and stay strong.

The idea is to keep your metabolism running all day, so it doesn't really peak or dip, which gives you lapses in energy.

Exercise is key, and so is building muscle as opposed to just losing fat, my girlfriend is 130 lbs at 5'6, but she's a size 0, because she's ridiculously toned (yes I'm lucky, I know, she's special in other ways too…). The more muscle you have, the hungrier you're going to be, the higher a metabolism you're going to have, and the higher your metabolic rate will be, meaning you'll be burning good calories just sitting there.

Hang in there and remember that it's a lifestyle change, not a diet and exercise plan.

I mean I eat healthy meals, and my weight fluctuates between 125-130 at 5'9 1/2", but I completely obsess over what I can eat, how much I should allow myself to eat and criticize myself because I'm thinking that I'm not getting enough exercise all the time.

It seriously wears you down and adds SO much stress to your life! Ugh. So much pressure on girls these days!

I’ve gained weight now, but I’m working on fixing my metabolic rate so that it’ll know how to digest whatever I take in. A whole new battle!

And Brittney, yes…compulsive eating is an eating disorder too, but people don't usually see it as such because they think of anorexia or bulimia when they here the words 'eating disorder'. Just because it's not in the media as much doesn't mean it's not still disordered eating. I don't think it sounds too bad with you though, we all do that sometimes!