Why Every Woman Should Be Having One-Night Stands

September 25, 2008     Posted in Relationships, Sex

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By Lauren

Being in a relationship is great, but getting there totally sucks. You meet someone, start to like that someone and then go crazy trying to figure out if they like you, why they aren’t calling, if you should text them, if you should have kissed them, if telling them you love The Hills was too much information…

It sucks, which is why I think one-night stands are the way to go. Seriously, if you are safe (read: wrap that sh*t up) the one-night engagement is a total win/win. And here are 5 reasons why:

1. No expectations: When I meet a guy while ordering a round of Soco and Limes at the bar, I never think to myself, “Wow! He could be the one!” We both know that our relationship will last approximately 6 hours (if that long) and then we will both go our separate ways. No wondering when he’s gonna call, or if he also wants 2 kids and a Puggle. You do your thing and move on. The end.

2. You can try all those crazy positions: Since you’re never really gonna see the dude again anyway, why not try the Arm Chair? (Look it up.) If it goes poorly (and he ends up with a black eye) it doesn’t matter – you won’t be fraternizing with him again. And if it goes well you have mastered a new position for the next dude who buys you a cocktail.

3. It’s a good story: Good sex, bad sex or no sex (too much alcohol doesn’t always lend itself well to doin’ it) there will most definitely be a great story attached to it. And who doesn’t love a great hookup tale?

4. No late night food: Let’s face it; when you go home from the bar with the roomies someone always ends up making drunk dip/ordering a pizza. When you go home with a boy, however, food is the last thing on your mind. Unless it involves licking it off the other person. Plus, sex burns calories.

5. Learn what you like: Practice makes perfect and sex is no exception. The more you have, the more you learn, and one-night stands are the perfect study sessions.

50 Comments on "Why Every Woman Should Be Having One-Night Stands"

  1. Davis says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20081:17 pm 

    So much in agreement. There are downsides (beer goggles, creepster, "I did WHAT with WHO?!" moments…) but all in all, you raise some very good points.

  2. rochelle says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20082:35 pm 

    mehhh, i'm not into one night stands. but each to their own i suppose

  3. Hilary says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20083:18 pm 

    Yeah, I'm not really into the idea of them either… but I dont judge those who are into it! Whatever floats your boat… but I would def not say that it's a win/win, there are more downsides to one night stands than you'd think of…

  4. kiwiagogo says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20083:44 pm 

    Haha. I'm in a relationship, and I sort of envy people who are able to go out and have one night stands.. That said, I don't think I would do it if I were single. I don't have the guts to pull it off, I think!

  5. Stephanie says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20083:56 pm 

    ….Why would you want to have sex with random people?

  6. Sam says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20084:01 pm 

    I guess I'm old fashioned. I prefer to know who the guy is before I have sex with him and in case something did happen, ie. a baby, I'd like to be able to inform the father. Man I feel old and out of touch.

  7. Em says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20085:16 pm 

    What a ho. Keep your recommendations to yourself. Since when does promiscuity equal liberation?

  8. Kay says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20084:48 pm 

    That's just it Em, all it is is a recommendation. So the whole point is to share it with others, you can take it or leave it.

    Although, I suppose if she has to keep her recommendations to herself, you should do the same with your opinions.

  9. Ericka says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20084:58 pm 

    I dunno, I understand all of the points, but if you get the right guy, it shouldn't be an issue. My boyfriend and I are always trying "crazy" new positions, and we're learning what we like TOGETHER, and then perfecting what we end up doing badly.

  10. Jacks says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20085:23 pm 

    I don't know, to each their own, I personally don't like sleeping with strangers…

    but even if you wrap it up, it's important to remember that condoms aren't 100%. If you aren't on birth control, they're only like 70% effective against pregnancy. And nothing is 100% against STDS. Condom's help, but nothing is foolproof. So when you sleep with a stranger, you are still taking a risk, regardless of how safe you are being.

  11. Kat says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20085:30 pm 

    I would never advocate this….

  12. easy says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20086:16 pm 

    if you sleep with a man right away, you throw away your best chance of making him become absolutely crazy about you.

    sex releases dopamine and research shows that a reward acquired early reduces the intensity and duration of dopamine activity in the brain. but a delayed reward increases it. the longer you make a man wait the more excited and thrilled he'll be about finally getting that reward.

    stop giving yourself away to guys who are only using you to get off and then have no intention of ever seeing you again. why would they want to see you again? theyve had all they can and the thrill of the chase is over. men instictinvely desire a chase. And, they know you dont value yourself very much because you just showed them you dont because you gave yourself so easily and proved you dont think youre even worth a chase and dont deserve to be sought after, even for atleast a week or so.

    yea, one night stands satisfy sexual appetites, but women arent made to have one night stands because women get attached easily after sex. men dont, so they'll easily take the offer if you give it to them.

    women need to stop being so easy. make the guy work for once. arent you worth it?

    and make him work more than buying you a few drinks. why do you think he does that in the first place?

  13. Amber - Old Dominion says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 20086:50 pm 

    Despite the highly disturbing pic(eek!) A little casual sex never hurt anyone! Just remember to be smart/safe.

  14. ela says:
    Thu, 25th Sep 200810:05 pm 

    actually…my fiancee and i hooked up on our 'first date' but not the first time we actually MET. so whoever said sleeping with a dude right away won't make them go crazy about you- i disagree. actually…our sex was so mind blowing it made us crave each other all day.

    i don't do 1 night stands…for a man to really pleasure a woman he has to learn her body. drunk sex lasts 1 night (sometimes 15 or less min) so i don't really see any anticipatory factors in that kind of thing.

  15. Elizabeth says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20085:21 am 

    Dear Easy,

    It really grosses me out that you think you have to consider yourself a prize and make a man work for sex. When you say things like "Don't you think you're worth it?", you put sex as something enjoyable only in a man's hands. You will never know if a guy really liked you for your personality and mind this way…you'll only know that you teased him well and made him stick around for sex.

  16. Stephanie says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20085:40 am 

    "..be smart/safe" ??

    Wth, what is smart OR safe about casual sex.

    So sad what this world is coming to..

  17. Angelique says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20086:35 am 

    I personally am a fan, but that's because I don't really have the time nor desire to invest a lot in a guy. So low investment high return sounds like a winner to me!

  18. Melinda says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20088:27 am 

    I totally disagree with you. Sex isn't something to throw around to random guys you'll never see again. It takes away from the meaning sex will have when you are with someone you love.

  19. ricky says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 200810:48 am 

    sex without chemistry and intimacy is just exercise… but .. nothing wrong with exercising, its just a mere exchange of bodily fluids, really, if you think about it.. its not much different than sharing the same drink… heck if you make out with someone… you stick your tongue in their mouth, if you f** them, you stick your penis in them.. its just a different organ in a different place… but the net net is the same.. sure it feels a heck of a lot better :)

  20. jc says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 200810:49 am 

    YAAAAAAAAAAA… ALL CHICKS SHOULD BE SLUTTIER … more BLOW JOBS… make the world a better place to live in

  21. DZ says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20081:23 pm 

    next time you see a hot chick and are afraid to approach, close your eyes, and remind yourself,… that she has COCK IN HER MOUTH last night from the increased One night stands.. so … nothing to fear.. go ask her what her name is and if she wants more cock

  22. Amber - Old Dominion says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20087:23 pm 

    Stephanie…

    Smart- If you think something sounds fishy(If he seems a little creepy) don't do it, no matter how drunk you are. Stay away from assholes like the ones above *cough cough jc and dz cough cough*

    Safe- Use a condom.

    It's funny that girls can be deemed slutty for a couple of one night stands, but in this day and age guys are STILL not looked at as sluts or hos.

  23. kelsea says:
    Fri, 26th Sep 20087:54 pm 

    i'm sorry but does this girl write about anything other than promiscuous sex & why guys don't call her/don't like her/are assholes in general? hmm, maybe these two topics are related somehow….just sayin.

  24. Rosalyn says:
    Sat, 27th Sep 200812:34 pm 

    …Why would you sleep with a random guy?And what if you get pregnant?

  25. heather says:
    Sat, 27th Sep 200811:33 pm 

    promiscuity does not equal liberation, but the freedom to either be promiscuous or not promiscuous without social consequence does. im not into one night stands, but im not going to harass the author for doing so, just because its her choice and she has the freedom to do what she wants. men arent subject to the same social roles as women are concerning sexuality, and i think that it is completely absurd that whenever a college candy author writes about sex the female-only sexual insults have to arise.

  26. Rebel224Rebel says:
    Sun, 28th Sep 200811:36 am 

    Seems to me that we (girls) aren't exactly engineered for one-night stands. I can't help it sometimes, either, but on the whole I'm with Easy- I don't think considering your own worth is gross. My heart takes a hit when I give myself away. Even when I pretend I don't care. In my opinion, things like one-night stands are our attempts to feel in control, to pacify ourselves short-term when what we really want is (cliche dead ahead!) love.

  27. Valerie says:
    Mon, 29th Sep 20081:49 pm 

    people put too much on sex. Who what when where and why all have to be 'perfect'. Bletch. Get over it its just a column. Let people live.

  28. melanie says:
    Mon, 29th Sep 20082:35 pm 

    Lauren, your posts are effin hi-larious!

    even if i'm not into the one night stand idea with a stranger, i have hooked up with a casual friend for the "low-investment-high-return" concept.

    it's one girls right to enjoy sex with strangers just like its another girls right to hold out till marriage.

  29. Sarah says:
    Mon, 29th Sep 20084:25 pm 

    I don't know what to think about this post. As someone who is in a pretty solid relationship, I disagree with the idea of sleeping around when single. I only slept with two guys before I got together with my current boyfriend, and I still wish that he had been my first. Maybe I'm an over-emotional dork, but I it feels like it would have meant so much more to the both of us if we hadn't slept with other people beforehand. I in now way endorse saving yourself until marriage, though…that shit's just stupid.

    On the other hand, the feminist in me says, "YEAH! Men sleep around all they want, why can't women?!" The concept that you should "make a man wait" seems old-fashioned and definitely out of style. I'm sure I could go much deeper into how a woman's chastity can further destroy our equal rights, but I'm too tired.

    Like, I said…I'm torn.

  30. Jacks says:
    Tue, 30th Sep 200810:41 am 

    I guess the difference is..us girls are literally letting people inside of us. And, I don't know, the thought of tons of guys having been inside me, is, for lack of a better word..icky. That's just me though.

  31. Vance says:
    Thu, 2nd Oct 20088:34 pm 

    The only good sex is the consensual kind, where everybody involved agrees to what the outcome is going to be Sure, saving sex until you find Mr. or Ms. Right is great, but a consensual one night stand can be beautiful too! As long as the expectations are mutual, it's all good.

  32. molly says:
    Sun, 5th Oct 20088:08 pm 

    OH EASY:

    "yea, one night stands satisfy sexual appetites, but women arent made to have one night stands because women get attached easily after sex. men dont, so they’ll easily take the offer if you give it to them."

    -This is possibly one of the most retarded things I've ever heard. I have had several experiences where the man becomes very attached and I am totally aloof.

    "if you sleep with a man right away, you throw away your best chance of making him become absolutely crazy about you."

    –There are several wrong things in this statement. 1. I don't want to date a guy because he is crazy about the SEX WE HAD. If you think sex is the way to make a guy crazy for you, you are so mistaken. 2. The point of a one-night-stand is SEX. in fact, I'd be rather annoyed if my ONS became crazy about me. The point is no-strings attached.

    On a side note, Jacks, you said "condoms aren’t 100%…..If you aren’t on birth control, they’re only like 70% effective against pregnancy."

    -You need to check your facts dude. Don't go telling people info if you don't know yourself.

    "The breakage rate for condoms is two out of 100. Of every 100 couples who use condoms incorrectly and inconsistently, 15 will experience a pregnancy during the first year of use. Of every 100 couples who use condoms correctly and consistently, only two will experience a pregnancy."n (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/condoms/HQ00463

    So don't let her put it on with her teeth and you'll be ok.

  33. delphie says:
    Thu, 16th Oct 20081:47 am 

    All those 5 stated reasons dont apply to me.

    First of all, sex is definitely an "expectation". So it kills rule number 1

    "All those crazy positions" require time and effort people and one night stands are not able to deliver those requirements.

    "Its a good story". Well, I would rather say "relativity".

    "No late night food"… How about right after sex?

    "Practice makes it perfect" Random practice when you are fully drunk makes nothing perfect just makes you junk.

    When one needs intimacy and a little bit of love to do some stuff one night stands are nightmares.

    However, if you say hell with the intimacy and love I just want a little fun and I am sure I wont be disgusted with myself in the morning.. then go for it.

  34. Dave says:
    Wed, 24th Dec 200812:07 am 

    On #2. "And if it goes well you have mastered a new position for the next dude who buys you a cocktail." lolololol

  35. Nicole says:
    Mon, 19th Jan 20094:54 pm 

    I enjoy sex-be it one night stands, fwb's, or in a relationship. Sure, at its best is with someone you care about. Dry spells can take its toll…and masturbation can only work for so long. I don't understand why there are such archaic attitudes towards one night stands…as long as you are being safe, what does it matter? I don't believe having a one night stand decreases ones capacity for having a loving/satisfying relationship in the future at all.

  36. eShagnasty says:
    Wed, 12th Aug 20099:00 pm 

    "Since when does promiscuity equal liberation?"

    Liberation is about having the freedom to choose for yourself. It's about having a choice and the freedom to choose when and with whom you have sex with, without being called a "Ho".

    Sex has nothing to do with love. If you think that making a guy wait for it or "earn it" will make him love you or respect you, you're a fool. You will not earn love or respect with your vagina, no matter how spectacular it is.

  37. Ivy says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20094:27 am 

    Someone mentioned that guys in this day and age who sleep around are not called "sluts" and "whores". I don't know who you guy's have been hanging around but in my area, no one wants to sleep with a whore – doesn't matter if it's a male OR female. I'm all for doing whatever floats your boat; if you want one night stands, go for it. But I would never advocate or recommend this.

    The person above me said, "You will not earn love or respect with your vagina, no matter how spectacular it is." I don't believe you'll earn "love" but I definitely think the man will respect you 100x more if you didn't hand out your vagina the first night – unless the whole one night stand thing was consensual and understood. And for me, it's all about respect and how I'll feel about myself.

    I've had plenty of chances to have one night stands and just couldn't do it because it wasn't with someone I loved. But again, to each their own.

  38. mollination says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20099:00 am 

    A puggle! hahahah

  39. Rya says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20098:26 am 

    No…just no.

  40. BlackRepublican says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20099:47 am 

    This site is exactly what is snapshot of exactly what is wrong with America. A select few ruin it for the majority.

  41. cheyene says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 200912:16 pm 

    One of the best chances I have at true happiness in my life is saving myself for the person God wants me to spend my life with. No Im not a virgin, and each time I've been active it takes away some of the good parts of who I am and who I want to be.

  42. TheBritishGuy says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20092:35 pm 

    One night standards have their upsides and their downsides.

    One night stands can be interesting because you can end up sleeping with somebody that knows or does something you've not experienced before.

    The downside to one night stands is it isn't generally as much fun as with somebody you've slept more often with.

    When you sleep with somebody quite often you work out their qwirks and learn how to push their buttons which makes things a lot more fun.

    Casual sex can't replicate somebody that knows how you tick and can exploit that to their advantage.

    Having said that though it can be pretty hard to find out who you have proper sexual chemistry with.

    The problem of course is you are almost always going to enjoy sex but the question is could you enjoy it more?

    The biggest issue is chemistry. If you have proper chemistry with someone you will enjoy things more but chemistry in bed is one of those things that is difficult to work out.

    You may enjoy sex with the only guy you have ever slept with but as far as your aware that is as good as it gets and it may very well be it gets a hell of a lot better.

    The benefit with casual sex if done correctly is you don't necessarily have any attachments but if things are fun you can create those attachments.

  43. TheBritishGuy says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20092:37 pm 

    I just noticed this article is nearly a year old. Are we celebrating its anniversary or something?

  44. geri says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20099:16 pm 

    Women do not do this, that is how you get Date Raped, if you never see him again, you will not even get to press charges!! Women get attached though sex, men do not. If a man knows you will never see him again you are setting yourself up, and the courts will blame you for going with him. Men get away with Date Rape more than any other crime. Men who rape do not LOOK like anyone dangerous. read FBI Rapists Profiles Rapists arent men who jump out of bushes, they are usually people you know

  45. antivenin says:
    Mon, 16th Nov 20099:16 pm 

    I love this thread. I’ll say this. Men need to begin to reward a better class of women. Men reward hot women who display their sexuality, and they do so with their money and their attention. The media uses it to sell everything. The message men are sending is that we are only interested in you if you are hot and willing to get nasty with me.

    Why do men do this? Constant rejection by women. The average guy is just that, common and average and let us not forget, “plentiful”. With great numbers comes great power. It is these very average guys who dictate to the market what sells (the sex they aren’t getting) and it it is these men who cause advertisers to target you with all sorts of things to make you feel inferior so you will go out and buy stuff to be hotter. The irony will make your knees wobble. The next time you turn your nose up at an average guy remember, he’s the reason you buy heels and makeup and try to look prettier than the next girl. You see, you think that your just “holding out so that you can preserve your integrity” and that’s a good thing, but it’s being exploited by a much more powerful entity offering men an alternative to you. They are playing men and women against each other to sell stuff. DUH! Wake up dingus. Of course they don’t want you having one night stands. That would put the porn, stripper, and prostitute businesses OUT OF BUSINESS, OVERNIGHT. Oh yeah it would also put a dent in many of the vices, women would stop buying so much stuff, I mean we’re talking serious problems for a lot of powerful and rich people here. They are NEVER going to let that happen. You will always be inundated with the same old antiquated notions that have kept people in power for years.

    The guys you shrug off as boring or uninteresting or just not your type, (somehow there is always a reason), hmmm, I wonder why that is? , will get that same treatment by other girls over and over again until one day he goes – “I’ve got a pocket full of money and no one who loves me, and I might add they feel like no one ever will.” Then they think – I’ll go and give it to the whores. They will at least give me real attention and put some effort into it. And BAM the cycle repeats itself. (Women I hate to say it, but you are being TOOLED OUT by corporate America and even the underworld.)

    This of course will lead to the age old cry… “where are all the men?” “I can’t find anyone.” Women by nature want the extraordinary man and they will harem around him, cat fight over him, and leave the rest to rot. This is normal in the animal kingdom, however, among highly intelligent, sentient beings, this becomes ridiculous quick.

    The tall, smart, funny, articulate, reasonably good looking, well dressed fellow you blew off because he was a little quiet, nervous, or happened to be by himself, is THAT guy I’m talking about. Not the scrubs who don’t bathe, not the goofs that have no life. I’m talking about real men of real value that get discounted because women are looking for “Mr. Extraordinary.”

    Stop blowing men off, believing the media hype, and assuming that they are all after your junk. Men and women are SUPPOSED to be hot for each other. Our current state of biology isn’t an accident, it is that which has allowed us to survive.

    I’ll tell you this, women also give men buyers remorse. That’s right, if you hold something out and it turns out to not rock our world we’re going to be disappointed that I waited so long for that and leave. It’s like buying a great looking car that drives like crap. Why is this jacked up? Because you kept the guy around for the promise of sex and it was the only reason he was there. Get to know the guy and if the two of you make a connection go for it. That’s my rant, it’s the truth, and there is nothing anyone can do to change the truth except ignore it and hope it goes away.

    We have only ourselves

  46. Allie says:
    Fri, 11th Mar 20116:06 pm 

    It's not rape if you like it ;) ;) ;)

  47. itscrystallong says:
    Sun, 2nd Oct 20115:51 pm 

    Since always? Do you know who Simone de Beauvoir is?

  48. itscrystallong says:
    Sun, 2nd Oct 20115:54 pm 

    The negative replies to this are so sexist. This article rocks.

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