The CC Weekly Weigh In: Make Your Ex Jealous
It may not be mature, but making your ex jealous is just so gratifying. Especially when they cheated on you with some ugly tramp and tore out your heart, stomped on it, threw it in a blender and chugged it.
Ok, so I’m a little bitter. And nothing goes better with bitter than a little revenge. In the form of torture. That involves a tight black dress or a very public makeout sesh with a very good looking stranger.
We received an email this week from a reader who was just dumped by her douchbag (ex) boyfriend. So, in order to help her move on to bigger and better dudes we asked our writers to tell us their favorite methods for making their exes green with envy. Read on for the best tips and tricks that will bring anyone down.
Megan – Brown University: I’m definitely of the don’t get mad, get even, school of thought (not sure I should be proud of that…). Anyway, for Halloween one year, I went to a party at his place dressed to kill in a little black dress and sky-high heels (as a trophy wife, naturally), where I ignored him and danced with his roommate. It worked, my ex noticed…he squeaked (which may have been an attempt at speech), turned and ran, leaving me with the roommate and the ensuing awkwardness…
Julia – UC Berkeley: I took risque pictures (yes, there were clothes involved) with my best friend’s brother, then put them a place that I knew my ex would find them. I’m pretty sure he cried.
Coco: I hooked up with one of my ex’s best friends…worked like a charm!
Lauren – University of Michigan: I hooked up with lots of people that I knew would get back to him. In a good way. (Good way = pulled out all the stops in the bedroom/on the table.)
Amber – Old Dominion: My ex is on ECU’s football team so to get him back I showed up at campus
party with a bunch of friends, refused to talk to him and left with one of his ridiculously hot teammates. The look on his face was PRICELESS!
Kari – FSU: When my boyfriend broke my heart, I stuck to the tried and true method of looking SMOKIN’ hot ala end of Grease Sandy, showing up to his favorite bar, and ostentatiously accepting drinks from any eligible bachelor. It didn’t take long for him to realize he was a tool and we’ve been back together for eight blissful months (although he still asks me to wear the outfit I wore that night…)
Sara – NYU: I broke up with him on Valentine’s Day and then went home with his duel-nipple-ringed friend. But, um, I guess that was less “to make him jealous” and more because “I was miserable and wasted.”
Beata: I never actually tried anything to purposefully make my ex jealous. It just seems to be the pattern among myself and my girlfriends that after we break up, we have more time to take care of ourselves, meaning we get more fabulous! We now have the time to go do our hair, do our nails, go to that yogilates class. No more arguments or worrying about what he’s doing. Then the guys just start flockin’. And the ex, he’s just like, “Who’s that girl?” Nothing will make him wish he had never let you go more than seeing you happy and confident and growing on your own. Who needs him anyway? Wanting to make him jealous only proves that you’re still hung up on him. When you get over it, you couldn’t care less what he thinks.
Noa – CU Boulder: I told everyone about his issue in bed. The issue being that he couldn’t get it up. I bet he wishes he never cheated on me now….
Carly – Grinnell: I have flirted shamelessly with other people in a public online forum so that my ex would know I am TOTALLY desirable.
Sarabeth – University of Texas: I had sex in a storage closet with another ex…I’m not proud.