Are You Scared Sh*tless Yet?: Allstate’s Horribly Depressing Ad Campaign

October 1, 2008 - 4:00 pm By Jess - NYU

The time has come for someone to say something.  The madness has to stop.  What madness am I talking about?  Those effing Allstate Commercials. You know, the ones that make you afraid to do anything?  The ones that have you scared to even look at your car for fear of instant bad luck or even death?  Yeah.  Those.

I’m not sure which Allstate bigwig hired Debbie Downer as their ad executive, but whoever decided depressing people into buying insurance was a good idea should be punched in the eye.

Below are a few of the offending commercials we found on YouTube.  Not surprisingly, most of the worst ones did not show up.  This is probably because Allstate knows they’re being f*cktards.

The "If You Try To Drink Coffee While Driving, You Will Get Into A Serious Accident And Probably Break Your Neck" Allstate commercial

The “If You Don’t Have Accident Forgiveness Your Car Is Most Likely Going To Smash Into A Police Cruiser” Allstate commercial

The "Without Allstate Your New Shiny Car WILL Be Ruined" Allstate commercial

And finally, the worst one of them all, The “Don’t Ever Try To Be Happy Because Everything That Can Go Wrong Will Including Your Wedding Turning Into A FUNERAL” Allstate commercial

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7 Comments on "Are You Scared Sh*tless Yet?: Allstate’s Horribly Depressing Ad Campaign"

  1. Anonymous says:
    Wed, 1st Oct 200811:05 pm 

    Are you stupid? That isn’t what the commercials are saying AT ALL…

    Here I will show you:

    “If You Try To Drink Coffee While Driving, You Will Get Into A Serious Accident And Probably Break Your Neck” – No, they are saying that doing multiple things while driving such as drinking coffee (and if you notice, not looking at the traffic ahead that is dead stopped) can cause an accident. They reward people who pay attention.

    “If You Don’t Have Accident Forgiveness Your Car Is Most Likely Going To Smash Into A Police Cruiser” – No, this is an example, saying that if that happened to you like that guy, you’re covered.

    “Without Allstate Your New Shiny Car WILL Be Ruined” – No, they set up a scenario and saying that yeah, you get a new car if your new car is crashed into!

    “Don’t Ever Try To Be Happy Because Everything That Can Go Wrong Will Including Your Wedding Turning Into A FUNERAL” – This is saying that yeah, everyone dies, some people get stolen from, anything you can think of has happened, so go ahead and prtect yourself so that if something wrong DOES happen, you are saved.

  2. Heather says:
    Thu, 2nd Oct 200812:19 am 

    lol i never knew anyone else who noticed this! these commercials crack me up. my favorite line paraphrased: each year 6000 teenagers go out for a drive and never come back. (followed by a persuasion to sign a parent-teen driving contract: like that really does crap… inexperienced drivers are more likely to get into car wrecks, its really that simple. yeah some of them drive stupid, but i never went out joyriding and i still got in an accident at 17).

  3. J - NYU says:
    Thu, 2nd Oct 20086:29 am 

    Anon, do you work for Allstate?

    If so, STOP SCARING US.

  4. Kola says:
    Thu, 2nd Oct 20084:31 pm 

    Hey Anon, we know you are really a marketing manager at Allstate who happened to come across this post. And since the younger demo is what Allstate needs to attract to keep lining it’s pockets, you posted this as a thoughtful responder vs. a desperate marketer not making his budget this year.

  5. Mandy says:
    Fri, 3rd Oct 20081:40 am 

    i have allstate and love it. honestly at least they are realistic about it instead of making it happy cause bad things happen and people are terrible drivers so there you go.

  6. Brittney says:
    Fri, 3rd Oct 200811:42 pm 

    The State Farm commercials are pretty funny too. I like the one where the guy is smiling at this girl in a coffee shop. He’s working on his computer and keeps looking over at the girl. After a long stare with her, he looks back and his computer is gone!!

  7. Steve says:
    Mon, 2nd Feb 20099:54 pm 

    Allstate is also the company promoting those “The economy sucks and you’re going to lose your house and live in a cardboard box while appreciating the little things in life. Oh, and even though you’re living on dog food buy some insurance for your brand new cardboard box home!”

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