I’m a Believer: Why Older Men are Hottt

October 4, 2008     Posted in Reality

hugh-hefner.jpgI think 24 is a magical number, and on a guy’s 24th birthday, there is some miraculous explosion in his head where he realizes, “Oh my, maybe it’s time to stop being a douchebag!” After four years of going through the motions of college dating, I decided to give older men a try.


By B.A

I am never going back.

First, I’ll explain the downside, and if you can make it past that, then it’s possible an older man might be just what you’re looking for.

If you’re looking for a fling, this is NOT the type of relationship for you, unless otherwise explicitly stated.  (And then you’re saying to yourself, “What?! You’re 35 and you’re NOT trying to settle down?”)

Older men are also more likely to come with baggage — like ex-wives and/or children.

Also, I always have this lingering fear that they will somehow find me, or the things I do, or like, or say, to be utterly childish.  I always have this suspicion lurking in the back of my mind that they’re saying to themselves, “Oh how naïve and cute she is.”

On the other hand, I love the fact that they know how to order at a restaurant — and that they even have a restaurant in mind that they’d like to try.  For that matter, I like the fact that they know what they like and what they don’t like and aren’t still running around experimenting with whatever comes their way.

I like the fact that an older man can take a common sense approach to things, an approach that balances my own headstrong impulsiveness.   I like to listen to their stories of growing up in an era very different from my own.  I like that they know how to actually listen to my stories.  I like reminding them of what it’s like to be young and carefree, and helping them to lighten up a little bit.

Some more positives:

1.    They have JOBS.

2.    They are much more eager to please (in bed)

3.    More emotional and relational maturity

4.    They know more about the world, i.e. can have intelligent conversations on a variety of subjects.

Are you a convert yet?

By the way, I am not looking for a father figure.  I have one already, thank you very much, and we are very close.  I am looking for a real man, that’s all.  Someone who isn’t going to play games, and who has moved (hopefully) beyond the immature jealousies and strutting around of younger men.  I like someone who really knows how to hold a woman, and who knows how to relate to her like the individual that she is.

Maybe I just had bad luck. Maybe I just picked the wrong guys my own age.  And as much as it goes against my need for the new and exciting, I like the stability and safety of someone who doesn’t need to have his ego pumped, who has his own life, and wants to be with me just because he enjoys spending the time.  There is nothing more amazing than the connection of two brains on the same level.  You should try it sometime.

Got any stories of your own?  Do you think older men are hot, or are you just getting yourself into hot water?

[Photo courtesy of abc.net]

11 Comments on "I’m a Believer: Why Older Men are Hottt"

  1. Elise says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 20088:37 am 

    oh yeah, definitely. Guys are almost never worth dating until they're about 24– which is, incidentally, my husband's age when I met him.

    If I'd met him a year before, I'd never have even considered him. And now he's 26 and hotter, sweeter, smarter and more mature than ever.

    I mean, that might not be considered proper 'older man' material, but guys younger than that are just… ugh.

  2. Gina says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 20089:04 am 

    There is DEF something to be said for the older man. The Boss is almost 60, and I would still be ridiculously naughty things to him…

    O.G.I.W.T.E. (Older Guys I Want ot Eff)

    1. Mark McGrath (hard to believe he's 40)

    2. Mike Rowe

    3. Bruce Springsteen

    4. Stephen Colbert

    5. Jon Cryer

  3. Danielle says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 200811:23 am 

    I completely 2nd the, O.G.I.W.T.E list.

    Thank you!!

  4. beth says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 200811:36 am 

    I was 18 when I met my husband, he was 25- We got married when I was almost 22 and he was almost 29, things are great!! I'm definitely with you on the older guy thing!

    tried dating a younger guy once… eew

  5. J - NYU says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 200811:44 am 

    As long as I don't have to date someone as old as Hef…the guy looks like Freddy Kruger more and more every day.

  6. Stephanie says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 20081:11 pm 

    I 2nd what J said.

  7. LucyInTheSky says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 20084:37 pm 

    It's funny, in passing attraction, I am most attracted to older men, particularly the ones with salt-and-pepper hair. This is true for both my celeb crushes and the hot dads I meet on a day-to-day basis.

    But in my actual dating/relationship life, I've never dated a guy who was more than a year older than me. In fact, I've dated several guys who were at least a couple years younger than me. Maybe I am hopelessly immature.

    Or to try to put a positive spin on it… maybe I value having lots of fun with childish men?

  8. J says:
    Sun, 5th Oct 20088:42 am 

    I am SO glad I read this…I'm 18 and I've been seeing a 25 year old and all I ever hear is that he's too old, but really, the other 18-21 year olds only want to party, eat, and have sex. Older men definitely have more to offer.

  9. Rebel224Rebel says:
    Wed, 8th Oct 20086:02 pm 

    Totally depends on the guy. I've dated two 28-year-olds. Different as day and night. The first treated me like a princess, and the second… well, that was complicated and kinda horrific. But I gravitate toward older men, too. On the inside I smile and say "Aw, how cute," when a guy who's actually my age asks me out. I know, I'm a terrible person.

  10. Lauren says:
    Sat, 11th Oct 20083:47 pm 

    I am so happy to have found other girls who are at least open minded to the older man concept. I may take it to an extreme, but the concept is the same. Lucy…salt and pepper hair, yes…inexplicably irresistible. I've always found myself attracted to older men (usually at least 20 years older….) but there are so many (as mentioned in the article) great things about them! But, yes, definitely watch out for the ex-wife and kid thing. I'm 21, my boyfriend is HOT and I love him to pieces. He is more than 25 years older than me. Gina…definitely!

  11. Murk says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20113:50 am 

    the only problem is that most older men can't stand younger women because of their drama. sad but true :) maybe it's the women who need to grow up, not the men.

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