College Candy

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the wierdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus.  Join the Overheard revolution!  Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

Two guys, in the dining hall, sitting over empty plates:

“What are we doing tonight?”

“Dan’s probably going on a beer run. I think there are a few parties up at the apartments. I wanna get crunk.”

“Definitely, man. Gonna rock it.”

After a moment:

“We’re playing Magic tonight, aren’t we?”

“Yeah. Probably.”

Two girls at a party:

“It’s not ‘yes’. I’m drinking. It can’t be yes if I’m drinking.”

“Can you just say ‘yes’ now?”

“But I won’t be be able to say ‘no’ later.”

“You wouldn’t say ‘no’ anyway, would you?”

“No. No, I probably wouldn’t.”

Nearby, the boy with his arm around one girl looks terribly uncomfortable.

One frat boy, from across the library: “Burrito?”

Many frat boys, holding burritos: “BURRITO!”

“So, like, bondage?”

“No, no. How about this. We pretend the bed is a rocket ship, and that we’re all astronauts. And we can only talk with our short-wave radios. And every time we talk dirty, we have to say ‘over and out’.”

One dude talks across a lunch table:

“Talking about relationships is easy. I think drawing diagrams really helps.”

A pause.

“Maybe I’m not the best person to be talking to about this.”

Outraged girl, storming over to the table with a newspaper:

“Since when are furries animals?”

The girl, upon further inspection, has a tail attached to her belt.

At a party, a couple is on the floor, in the middle of the room, making out.

Bystander: “Are they fine?”

Other bystander: “How are you guys doing?”

They keep making out, despite the circle of people around them.

“Yeah, I think they’re fine.”