Size Doesn’t Matter, But Measure Anyway!

You meet a guy. He’s cute, he’s charming and he makes you want to take off your clothes and jump his bones. And then – score! – he asks to come home with you. So, you finish your drink (read: chug that bitch), say goodbye to your friends (read: scream to them across the bar, “LATER, LADIES!), hail a cab and head back to your place.

As you fidget with the keys to your house you begin to think to yourself, this guy is too good to be true. There must be something wrong with him. Right? But what could it be? Bad in bed? Weird rash? Miniscule manhood?

Not that it matters – it’s the motion in the ocean, right? Well, now you can know exactly what you are dealing with…down there. Yes, ladies, someone has done the unthinkable: they took a condom and a ruler and put it all together into one handy dandy little (or, if you’re lucky, big) package.

Because you have always wondered if your man really was 8 inches, but never knew how to measure. (Note: breaking out a ruler while he’s asleep is never a good idea.) Because you never knew what 6 inches really looked like. Because you like to compare your conquests with those of your friends.

And because, well, it’s just sorta funny.

Not only do these condoms com with 14 inches of measuring fun (you never know when you are gonna meet Ron Jeremy), but they also come in lots of fun flavors. Papito Banana anyone?