College Candy

Tonight is the 2nd Presidential Debate, which is sure to be awesome (even if it’s not nearly as hyped as Palin vs. Biden’s Teeth).

The event is going to be moderated by NBC’s Tom Brokaw, but instead of Tommy asking the questions, the debate will have a town hall format.

Which means the people get to ask the questions.

So, people of Nashville who will be sitting pretty in the town hall-y debate, if you are reading this, we have a few questions we’d like to ask the candidates. Real questions that require real answers instead of that fluff Gwen Ifill came up with (and Sarah Palin dodged) during the VP “debate.”

1. Honestly, do you think President Bush was qualified to run this country? If not, how does that make you feel now? How badly would you hate yourself if you lost?

2. Inquiring minds want to know: Peanut Butter Crunch or Crunch Berries?

3. If you could only change one thing during your term as President (and money was not an issue), what would it be?

4. When SNL makes fun of you, does it hurt?

5. Barack, do you really eat 4-6 eggs a day, or are you a p*ssy who only eats the whites?

6. Tell us, McCain, what have you learned from living through the Civil War, WW1, WW2, Vietnam and the current Iraq sitch?

7. Would you rather have George Bush walk in on you having sex, or walk in on he and Laura doin’ the naughty dance?

8. What would you do to Osama Bin Laden if you had him in your office right now (and no one was watching)?

9. Would you eat PB slices?

10. Do you really like holding babies/shaking people’s hands/hugging creepy strangers, or is it all an act?

11. You both claim to want to fix the current Global Warming problem, yet you both tool around this country on airplanes/in giant buses. How can you justify that?

12. Is there any money left in either of your budgets to help Amy Winehouse?