Revenge Porn: Not Just for the Bathroom Stall Anymore

We all know about those horrible, nasty and hateful breakups. Either we’ve gone through one, or we’ve comforted a friend who has. We’ve seen and heard about the batsh*t things that crazy exes will do out of jealousy, spite and heartbreak.

By Kari

It hurts enough to sever ties with someone who knew every intimate detail about you, but imagine those private moments, discussions and pictures becoming public knowledge at the hands of someone you loved.

Men.Style.com recently ran a story in its Details forum concerning the topic of revenge porn, defined by UrbanDictionary.com as “homemade porn uploaded by an ex-girlfriend or (usually) ex-boyfriend after particularly vicious breakup as a means of humiliating the ex.” While the writer, Richard Morgan, cautions against revenge porn lest anyone involved (usually the boyfriend) suffer legal consequences, the casual manner in which he describes revenge porn does not fully clarify just how damaging this growing trend can be.

An influx of lawsuits concerning variations of revenge porn (homemade sex tapes posted on internet porn forums, nude pictures uploaded to MySpace accounts, distribution of homemade DVD’s) has sparked interest and concern in law-makers, who feel that new laws should be established to regulate the final legal frontier: the Internet. Details questions the necessity of criminalizing revenge porn, ignoring the long reaching effects it could have on a victim and, therefore, trivializing the entire issue.

Revenge porn, argues Morgan, shouldn’t necessarily qualify as a crime because it simply serves as a sign of the times. It’s just the product of our self-obsessed, celebrity crazed, over-exposed and digitally adept generation: the 2008 equivalent of petty slander, right? Wrong. It is not, as the article put it, “the contemporary version of writing ‘Jenny gives good head’ on the bathroom wall.”

Chances are Jenny’s friends, family, boss, and professors are not going to happen upon the exact stall of the exact dive-bar where her drunk-ass ex managed to get his hands on some Jaeger and a Sharpie. That bathroom stall doesn’t say Jenny’s last name, and unless said ex has some scotch tape and a picture of her in his wallet, Jenny is faceless. Comparing scribbles above a urinal with the emotional damage, public embarrassment, and potentially career ruining effect of compromising someone’s online identity is completely inappropriate.

Revenge porn is just as–if not more– invasive, cruel and immoral as any other form of slander or libel and should be punished in exactly the same way. Of course the smartest way to avoid becoming a victim of revenge porn is to not do, make or say anything explicit with a partner, but that is slightly unrealistic, not to mention takes away a major perk of being in a relationship in the first place.

Having a partner who you know well, love and trust allows women to really open up and…let loose. Unfortunately, that blissful relationship doesn’t always last forever and sometimes there’s no telling what revenge will drive a person to do.

Think about this next time you pull out the digital camera in a moment of passion. Would you want your Facebook friends seein’ that?