Six Reasons Why Joe Sixpack is Sexy

Snappy Sarah Palin might have been on to something when she gave a shout-out to “Joe Sixpack” during the VP debate. Maybe a beer-drinkin’, gut-bustin’ dude is the perfect pick for your next date. Here’s six reasons why.

1. You’ll never have to worry about curbing your alcohol intake at dinner, on dates, at the ballpark, at, well, anywhere. Rest assured he’ll guzzlin’ like a fiend too.

2. Skip the gym, embrace the beer belly. Nothing says bonding like rubbing your swollen gut against his as you climb into bed.

3. No more frivolous lingerie purchases. Your new man has an endless supply of over-sized, well-worn t-shirts. Throw one on, flaunt your bare legs and blow him kisses from the bedroom door. He’ll be on you like a Doberman in heat.

4. Spending a fortune on fancy microbrews? Forget it. Stock up on PBR, Miller Lite and Bud. While you’re at it, throw a king-size bag of super-cheezy nachos in the cart as well.

5. Toss your painful, pinching stilettos. There’s no need to prance around in high heels when most of your dates will take place on his sofa in front of the game.

6. Worried about Joe impressing mom and dad? Never fear. Once they see him crush a beer can with his bare hand they’ll know he can protect their daughter from evil villains… and any other leering rednecks.