Jessica Simpson Channels Angelina Jolie

tony-and-jessica-cake-1.jpgThese are the things I know about Jessica Simpson:

1. She is blonde.

2. She has little/no talent.

3. She once confused tuna and chicken.

4. She is ridiculously gorgeous and happens to be dating someone else who is ridiculously gorgeous.

5. She kisses with her eyes open?

6. She loves sex.

I mean, how else would you explain this quote she recently gave to Australia’s Daily Telegraph?

“I’d love six kids running around, but I guess I’ll have to start pretty soon.”

Six?! Six hot-but-totally-dumb children? She does realize that all those kids won’t give her Angelina’s career or worldwide respect, right? I mean, what is she thinking?

Unless this is her plan to get another reality show: Newlyweds meets Jon and Kate Plus 8

I don’t know about you, but I am scared. And Jessica should be too; babies mean weight gain and stretch marks and getting all dowdy… without that killer body, this girl has nothing.

3 Comments on "Jessica Simpson Channels Angelina Jolie"

  1. Jacks says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20081:28 pm 

    Unlike her sister, she can actually sing, so you gotta give her that. She never should have taken that little foray into acting, tho.

  2. Joanna says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20087:11 pm 

    She is not “ridiculously gorgeous”. She is just blonde and has big boobs. Neither is Tony Romo, a schmuck if I ever saw one.

  3. rochelle says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20088:36 pm 

    what is with that picture???? yuck.

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