Unlike most people who only have their birthdays to celebrate every year, I am fortunate enough to have two days in my honor:
March 21st – the day my mother pushed me out of her womb
October 15th – National Grouch Day
Whereas I am always shunned, yelled at and abused for being a “royal bitch,” today I, and others like me, am celebrated for my general moodiness. I am finally vindicated for my annoyance at my roommates leaving their sh*t all over the house, for those mother-effers who can’t figure out what a turn signal is, and for the jerks down the street who keep playing that same damn Lil Wayne song over and over and over.
I don’t have to be ashamed for yelling at the Subway dude who put mayo on my 6 inch turkey on whole wheat with “absolutely no sauces, spices or mayo,” or for pushing the bitch at the bar who cut me in line and then got the last Amstel Light.
No. Today is my day. MINE. A day for me to be who I am and for those around me to celebrate it by leaving me the eff alone. Do not hug me, sing to me, or send me a card; all I want on this day is acceptance of my grouchiness.
And maybe for you people to clean up the damn kitchen. Is that too much to ask?!
10 reasons to date a unicorn
Drugstore beauty buys!
Get the CollegeCandy browser!
Get Your Spring Break On Here!!
Got something to say? Something to share? Email us!
Major tattoo mistakes
Stay away from Lilo, Christina Ricci!
Super skinny models are out
The world's sluttiest professions
Why are you hating on Leo, Israel?
Bri says:
Wed, 15th Oct 200812:13 pm
huh… So what does it say about me that national grouch day is also my (actual) birthday?
Beth says:
Thu, 16th Oct 20083:51 am
When I was a kid, my dad made me an Oscar “Grouch-keteer” trash can lid hat from an old pie pan. I wore it with pride!
Tell us what you're thinking...
COVER STORY
Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change....
This blows. Ah, Spring Break. A time to relax, to de-stress, and to recharge for...
I was tucked into bed on Wednesday night (well…technically Thursday morning since...
Read More Posts From This CategoryHAHA
[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions....
Sarabeth here. But only for a short time, because I figured I could have my other...
As a writer, I have a lot of role models. People who’ve made a difference with...
Read More Posts From This CategoryOverheard: Maya on Faya
(Guy, girl, in a restaurant.)
Guy: I’ve heard from Davis and Florida State.
Girl: Wait, Florida State? Where’s that?
Your St. Patty’s Day Survival Guide
The Morning After: The Booty-Call Bomber
Intro To Cooking: Simply Splendid Sugar Cookies
CC Beauty Live: Feel Sick, Don’t Look It
One Month Challenge: Fun with Fitness, Week 1
Craigslist Creepers: Dabbling in The Obscene