Tainted Love: When Crazy Girls Ruin Guys for the Rest of Us

October 15, 2008 Posted in Relationships

You meet a really great guy: smart, funny, well-mannered, and good-looking. You seem to hit it off with him when you initiate your first conversation, and realize you have a lot in common. You’re sure this one is a lock, so you ask him out. He declines.

By Kathryn S

What?! But everything was going so well!

“I’m sorry,” he explains. “I just got out of a bad relationship, and I don’t want to get involved.” Read: he was tainted by a crazy chick.

Since the beginning of time, bad boys have been toying with women’s emotions – playing us, and hurting us. Well, guess what ladies — this isn’t the suffrage era, and some girls out there think they have the power to level the playing field. Unfortunately, these crazy girls ruin the perfectly nice boys for the rest of us perfectly nice girls.

You might think you’re in the clear, but are you? Read on to make sure you don’t fall into the “Crazy Ex Girfriend” category. And if you do, thanks; you’re the reason I’ve been single for so long. Well, at least part of the reason.

The Cheater

This ex-girlfriend broke the guy’s heart, maybe more than once. Perhaps they were together for years, and he walked in on her and his friend one night. Maybe she had multiple “flings,” and confessed them all, in tears, and he forgave her time and again. No matter what, cheating hurts for girls and guys. This girl probably made your guy weary of being cuckolded again and wore down his trust in women. He thinks you’ll cheat, and he’s not ready to be played for a fool again.

The Bitch

This is the girl who takes out her frustrations on her man, picks fights in public, and reprimands him for the little details. He buys her a thoughtful Valentine’s day present; she throws a temper tantrum because he didn’t spring for a pair of earrings from Tiffany’s. He makes a joke at dinner, and she storms away from the table, leaving him alone and waiting for the check, embarrassed. Yet, for whatever reason, he put up with it for months, or even years. (Maybe it was the make-up sex.) Mean guys get a bad rap for being “emotionally abusive,” but these mean girls often slip under the radar because their behavior is chalked up to being a high-maintenance diva. Now that your crush is finally single, free, and thinking for himself, he likes it, and he’s not sure if he emotionally or financially ready for the drama he associates with being in a relationship.

The Clinger

We’ve seen these girls parodied in movies– see Wedding Crashers‘ term, “Stage-Five Clinger.” The clinger might not have even been a long-term girlfriend: even a one-night stand turned Fatal Attraction vixen can make the guy cautious of returning a girls’ affection. If it was a long-term relationship, the Clinger behaves like Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, except she’s not putting on an act to win a bet, she really is that clingy. After either having a casual hook up try to plan a wedding or going for months without being able to have a day with the boys over football on Sundays, the guy is now so happy to make his own plans that he’s willing to choose freedom over sex.

The Girl Who Went Psycho After the Breakup

Everything was going well for the guy, until he gently tried to break it off with his girlfriend. She snapped, and may have turned into The Clinger post-breakup. He tried to date again, and she was waiting to scare his new prospects away every time. This girl is personified by Miranda Lambert in her song “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” Thanks to her, he’s not only afraid to commit to a potential nutcase, but he fears that getting close to you will instigate another confrontation and that she’ll scare you away and ruin his chances anyway.

The False Alarm Liar

As the relationship begins to fizzle out, this girl takes drastic measures to keep the guy. What does she do? She lies about getting pregnant. It’s the perfect way to keep a guy, right? Wrong! Eventually, she has to come clean, and the trauma from thinking he’s going to be a father followed by the news that he’s been had is going to keep him off the market for a while.

Any of these girls can ruin a perfectly good guy for the rest of us. Why do girls behave this way? There’s a million answers for that. But the bottom line is, ladies, treat your man the way you would want to be treated. Don’t ruin him for the rest of us!

1315713 Comments2008-10-15+19%3A00%3A49Kathryn+S on "Tainted Love: When Crazy Girls Ruin Guys for the Rest of Us"

cosette says:
Wed, 15th Oct 20084:10 pm

Sorry Kathryn, but the old “I’m sorry,I just got out of a bad relationship, and I don’t want to get involved” is an excuse meaning that he’s just not into you. It’s the polite thing you say to someone who is nice and you like, but just don’t want to pursue a relationship with.

Sarah says:
Wed, 15th Oct 20084:20 pm

Cosette, while I’m sure what you said may be true in some cases (i.e. jerks), you don’t need to speak in such a condescending tone. If I were to guess that you were “The Bitch” mentioned in the article, how close would I be?

Belle says:
Wed, 15th Oct 20082:38 pm

I have a secret theory that guys actually LIKE crazy girls. Not certifiably crazy, but I feel like many guys thrive on drama and girls showing how much they're into the guys in semi-psycho ways. This would explain why guys stay with these girls to begin with cuz its not like it takes a while to notice this behavior.

Brianna says:
Wed, 15th Oct 20086:11 pm

Sure some ex girlfriends may be crazy but maybe the guy in the relationship wasn’t completely sane either, and thats something that would not be apparent in someone that you have just met. I just don’t think its fair put all the blame on an ex girlfriend when the guy seems damaged. Maybe he had a hand in it as well.

rochelle says:
Wed, 15th Oct 20088:27 pm

guys unfortunately throw the word “crazy” around wayyy too often, i think that theres this “common knowledge” that if shes “crazy” then ohhh suddenly he’s the good guy. i would hear the story first but i think when a guy says his is ex is “CRAZY” he’s immature, and usually a pretty selfish guy.

Angelique says:
Thu, 16th Oct 20082:37 am

I agree with Rochelle and Brianna. When you take an action or quote out of context things can look a lot different. For example, an ex of mine could say that I am an overdramatic psycho bitch for storming off, shutting off my phone and calling the cops when we were having a fight about him not picking me up from the train station. That sounds fine when you leave out the fact that he said he had a concealed weapons license, would fuck me up and threatened to shoot me. See, context.

DZ says:
Thu, 16th Oct 20084:29 pm

don’t forget the DRAMA QUEEN… that can WEAARRRR a guy out… as aguy, a cheater.. won’t damage me … i’ll be like go suck some more cock you whore… neither would the crazy ex or the false alarm … cos that’s easy… it happened, you relent over it.. for … 15 minutes, and move the F*** on … the damage comes from slow, tedious chipping that just wears you out to the point you don’t want to risk dealing with that much pain again… its the difference between prolonged torture versus a shot in the head… the things that damage are the ones that end up in prolonged torture…

Paige says:
Sat, 18th Oct 20088:35 am

I spent two months wondering why my current boyfriend wouldn't commit – turns out he was a victim of a cross between the clinger and the bitch. So I'm gonna have to disagree with you, cosette, crazy girls do exist and they do make guys weary of women. That doesn't mean the line in question ALWAYS means that's what happened. But it's no reason to assume you've just been "let down easy."

That said, DZ, I don't know WHAT you just said, but I think it made me laugh.

DZ says:
Mon, 20th Oct 20082:21 pm

paige – don't worry about it.. it wasn't meant for morons..

Casper says:
Tue, 21st Oct 20089:58 am

First – Very cleaver anti-spam filter…

Second – We sometime end up with Crazy ones because it can be LOW maintenance. Basically shes into you more then you are into her, and she becomes more of a booty-call then girl friend. Since shes into you so much you don't really have to try to hold onto her. They don't last. In these situations I usually just wait for the girl to end it with me since shes the one mostly "leading" the relationship (and often the one who started it). Remedy? She grows on you, and you become just as crazy as her (relationship status: unstable). Best ones are when you're friends first and it upgrades to something better, freindy relationships are best.

ANONYMOUS-GIRL says:
Thu, 6th Nov 20083:24 am

My boyfriend's ex was all of that. Bitch.

Tia says:
Wed, 24th Dec 200811:06 am

The guy i'm seeing's ex was the bitch, the clinger and the girl who went psycho after the break up. so much fun.

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