Top 5 Reasons Why I Can’t Watch Horror Movies

October 15, 2008 12:00 pm     Posted in Other Stories  Jess - NYU g+ page

151419__chucky_l.jpgI know that a lot of people like horror movies. I know this because a lot of people tell me they like horror movies, and also because Saw V is just about to hit theaters (the 5th installment of a plot that basically consists of scary machines and blood). There’s something about watching other humans scream in agony that a lot of people can’t get enough of — but I am not one of those people. I’ve never been one of those people. Since I came out of the womb, I have been scared to freaking death of horror movies.


By Jess

Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why.

5) When Things Pop Out In An Attempt To Scare, I Always Get Scared

I know that it’s like, part of the fun, or whatever, when the music suddenly swells and a creepy things pop up all creepy, or someone is grabbed ,or a face appears in a mirror, but that sh*t gives me a heart attack every time. I lose my breath and my heart flips out and then I get really violently angry. Like I want to punch the TV for doing that to me. I get scared and then I get pissed and then my whole day is ruined.

4) Weird Noises Always Happen Afterwards

Whether I’m back at my childhood home, in a dorm, or at my apartment, after watching (or accidentally watching) a horror movie, weird noises will keep me awake all night. It never ceases to amaze me that it happens every single time. The wood creaks, my closet door won’t shut all the way, something scurries across the floor…my bedroom isn’t haunted until I watch a scary movie. Then it’s haunted. Totally, Ghostbusterly, haunted.

3) I Get Dizzy At The Sight Of Blood

Yup. Sorry. It’s true. I never used to get woozy when I saw platelets, but after childhood ended, so did my interest in inspecting a pricked finger. If I cut myself I have to squint and then find a band-aid. If someone is bleeding around me I have to run for cover and take deep breaths. Knowing my intolerance, how could I possibly sit through 90 minutes of splattering? Watching someone get their arm ripped off isn’t really cool, but when lots of blood is involved with that arm-ripping, it becomes absolutely nauseating for me. No one should have to drag a barf bucket into a movie theater with them. Dates don’t like it.

2) I Do Not Need More Violence In My Life

Currently, life is really scary as is. I see enough horrible stuff about the Iraq War and on the streets of NYC to last me for years — why would I want to up my violence quotient with half-naked girls getting sliced in half? Scary sh*t doesn’t turn me on or excite me, it just makes me sad and simultaneously want to pee my pants in fear.

1) I Have Nightmares Like A 7-Year-Old Kid

Some people can watch horror movies and then go eat an ice cream and play scrabble with their parents. Me? I lie in bed and replay everything I saw until A) I drift off into horrible, horrible nightmares or B ) I drift off into really horrible, horrible nightmares. The kind of nightmares where you wake up and instantly want to crawl into your parents’ bed but can’t because you’re 25. I wake up in tears. I wake up running. Bad news bears, my friends. Bad news bears.

[Have any reasons of your own for not being able to watch horror movies?]

16 Comments on "Top 5 Reasons Why I Can’t Watch Horror Movies"

  1. Erin says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 200812:23 pm 

    I feel exactly the same way. Even if I watch horror movie at 10am, I’ll still be replaying everything that scared me in my mind when I go to bed that night!!

  2. Jacks says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20081:27 pm 

    Ditto everything. My biggest thing is the violence. I don’t understand why people enjoy watching other people suffer and die-it makes me sick, and I think they just feed ideas to idiots for copycat murders.

  3. Kelly says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20081:42 pm 

    #1 is me too! I’m 20 and have woken up screaming in the middle of nightmares about the Joker from Dark Knight. Yes. I’m that scared of movies.

  4. Audrey says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20083:27 pm 

    I’m soooo with you. Horror movies scare the crap out of me. My imagination is vivid enough without Hollywood adding visuals and ideas. I don’t mind the violence so much its the suspense that gets me. I hate the anticipation and suspense. I just can’t take it. I end up watching all horror movies through the saftey net of my fingers (which is totally embarrassing in theaters by the way).

  5. Marie says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20083:00 pm 

    I love this. It's one of the most funniest and truest things I have read. And I'm the same way…except I always screw myself over because I become interested in the plot of the scary movie and then just have to watch it even though it freaks the hell out of me.

  6. molly says:
    Wed, 15th Oct 20087:56 pm 

    No offense to anyone, but I honestly feel like there is something really really "off" with people who find it amusing to watch other people being brutally tortured or torn to pieces, or whatever. I don't care if it's just a movie, these days, it looks dead real, and it's really sick that people enjoy watching that.

    Especially since it HAS happened to people, and that terror was real for them.

  7. Allison says:
    Wed, 22nd Oct 20086:22 am 

    So true, Molly. Great point. Also makes you wonder why people like killing other people in these super realistic video games, too. You don’t really think about it until you see your little brother high-fiving his other 15-year old friends because he totally “shot the fuck out of that hooker, dude!” and you turn your head to look and there’s a dead woman lying face down on a very realistic-looking street. And that, my friends, is when you decide you’re never giving your own kids video games. Ever.

  8. Stephanie says:
    Thu, 23rd Oct 20085:28 am 

    Except for the blood thing..this is all me.

    Saw I was scary for me and even parts of the others too. But I know I usually go back to my bedroom after reluctantly going to see Saw and think that Jigsaw is like hiding in my closet or some shit like that.

  9. Drey says:
    Sat, 25th Oct 200810:49 pm 

    oh jeez, thank god i'm not the only one who hates scary movies THAT much. :)

  10. jason says:
    Sat, 1st Nov 20083:21 pm 

    FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

  11. alien says:
    Mon, 18th May 20097:39 pm 

    I can walk outside at night. But horror movies is the scariest thing ever for me. I can't sleep at night, I get nightmares and every single noise in the house scare the shit out of me. And it's not even the movie it's the preview that they show in the commercial. They should stop showing those previews. Even if I don't see it, the fucking sounds drive me nuts. Those movies are not for normal people.

  12. Lisa says:
    Tue, 14th Jul 20096:48 pm 

    I'm the same, if not worse. I can't even watch the COMMERCIALS for horror movies without getting spooked.

    On a side note, it always makes me laugh when my friend pronounces "horror movies" are "whore movies."

  13. Vivi says:
    Mon, 20th Jul 200912:32 am 

    ohhhh I do have the same problem xD

    I always WANT to look them, knowing that I'll regret this just after doing so. and it's always the same. I am afraid of taking a shower when in the movie there was a zombie popping up and killing the woman in the shower with a knife or something. This sometimes lasts for 2 weeks or so.

    "my bedroom isn’t haunted until I watch a scary movie. Then it’s haunted. Totally, Ghostbusterly, haunted." Totally my point

  14. Sandi says:
    Fri, 7th May 201010:13 pm 

    But i love horror movies very much

    Thanks
    http://www.bigmoviesfree.com/

  15. robinn says:
    Wed, 20th Oct 20108:38 pm 

    Ladies, Ladies!!! no need to be scared. Remember its just a movie. I know you ve heard that many times but it really is just a movie. they create movies to scare you otherwise watching movies would be pretty boring dont you think? horror is a very important Genre because it allows people to come closer if you think about it. When you watch a scary movie you just wanna hold your best friend, your bf/gf or your spouse even closer. The thrill is like no other and that makes the horror genre so unique. It helps sometimes to search for the actors names on the net to see that they really are regular humans like you and me and not some monster you see on t.v.

  16. anu says:
    Thu, 11th Apr 20135:08 am 

    when i watch the trailors for horror movies i cant hide my exitmenet and i watch the movie.but when i go to sleep it feels like my bedroom is full of dead people and i end up having nightmares that scare the hell out of me .

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