Rejection: The Be-All and End-All?
Here’s the scene: You walk into your favorite coffee shop on Friday evening after class. You’re fumbling for your wallet and about to order a mocha latte when you notice a pretty cute guy sitting across the room. As if on cue, he looks up and notices you, too. You both smile and redirect your gazes to the ground.
“Ma’am?” says the barista. “Can I help you?”
Right. So after you finally get your coffee, you amble over by the cute dude’s table and strategically sit near him. After a few minutes of awkward eye contact, he gathers up his stuff and asks if he can sit with you. Score, right? You abandon all thoughts of starting your paper early as you gaze into his hazel eyes and find out that you both love cheese fondue and college basketball. As it grows dark outside, he mentions he has to leave, so you take a deep breath and get up the courage to ask him The Question: “Hey… do you wanna hang out again sometime?”
And here’s the answer: “Oh. Um… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just see you around.”
Congratulations—you’ve liked a guy who doesn’t like you back. We’ve all been there. But is it really as bad as it seems?
I say no. If you’re met with rejection when you ask a guy out or shot down when you try to flirt with him, there’s just one thing to do: move on. Sure, you can try to change his ways or manipulate him into dumping his girlfriend or pull out any number of other conniving tricks, but really, isn’t it just simpler to get over it?
It’s not like you’ve dated the guy for years and he’s suddenly run off with another chick and bid you goodbye without even a kiss. It’s not like the two of you have some cosmic connection that’s absolutely undeniable. Even if you think he’s your dream guy, odds are that he’s not—after all, if he was, don’t you think he’d be a bit more tempted to accept your offer of a date?
I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to convince a guy to go out with you. I said no to my now-boyfriend probably ten times over a period of three days before I finally relented and said, “YES, I’ll go out with you, now leave me alone!” And hey, it worked out for us.
So if you feel like it’s really meant to be, go for it—but don’t be surprised if you end up alienating the guy instead of charming him. If you want to salvage a friendship, cut your losses and move on. A guy should not dominate your existence, so hold your head up and remember—it’s his loss.
[Image courtesy of d-addicts.com.]