He Said/She Said: Can Guys and Girls Be Friends?

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It is one of life’s biggest questions: can a guy and a girl be friends (and nothing else)? Can two people who really like eachother on such a personal level not take it to a more physical level? Does one person always want something more from the relationship? And if they do, how do they take it to the next level?

Ok, so that is a lot of questions, but this is a topic that people have debated since long before Harry met Sally. And I want the truth!

I have lots of guy friends (many of whom weigh in on these topics every week), so I was curious to know their thoughts. Do they secretly want me? (And if no, why not?!) Here is what a guy had to say.

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8 Comments on "He Said/She Said: Can Guys and Girls Be Friends?"

  1. belle says:
    Wed, 29th Oct 20085:03 pm 

    I have a question about this… I think it was in When Harry Met Sally when they said that in all guy-girl friendships, at least one person automatically has to be romantically/sexually into the other. But if it’s just one person, then what’s going on with the other one. They obviously can be friends with the liker despite only being a likee. Which makes me wonder why both of them couldn’t be uninterested in more… Thoughts?

  2. Chrissy says:
    Wed, 29th Oct 20086:03 pm 

    Timely article! I’m starting to have strong feelings for my best guy friend, so it’s nice to know that there may be an “85-90%” possibility that he’d be at least somewhat into being more than friends. For the record though, I do have several other guy friends with whom I have (at least on my side, and I’m fairly sure on theirs too) totally platonic relationships. So it’s possible, but sometimes things just naturally start to evolve into something more.

  3. Olivia says:
    Wed, 29th Oct 20087:57 pm 

    One of my best friends is a guy. While it’s true he used to have an interest in me (I have never thought about him like that) we definitely have a brother/sister type relationship now.

    Even if a friendship starts out as one person liking the other more, my friend and I are proof that this can evolve into a close friendship, not just romance.

  4. ann says:
    Wed, 29th Oct 200810:19 pm 

    i think it is possible to have guy friends and still just remain friends without doing anything else. although many of them are gay, i also have alot of straight guy friends with whom i haven’t done anything with. although for one of them im starting to have stronger feelings for him and it nearly happened once before to another close guy friend (but we dismissed it as being drunk) so there is a chance of romantic feelings happening but it’s very possible that it also won’t happen.

  5. rachel says:
    Wed, 29th Oct 200810:43 pm 

    just be careful with the whole ‘i like my best guy friend thing’ .. my best guy friend and i both had a crush on each other, slept together, and then it was horribly awkward and almost ruined our friendship.. we just got our friendship back to normal and all of this happened 3 years ago.. also be careful if one or the other of you gets in a serious relationship with someone else and you remain best friends.. your new boyfriend/girlfriend WILL be jealous..

  6. Robert says:
    Thu, 30th Oct 200812:32 pm 

    I would say the number is closer to 95% of the girls a guy is friends with he has some level of attraction to, certainly enough to hook up with even just once. There really are just two types of girl ‘friends’ to a guy, those you have had sex with and those you want to have sex with.

    To a guy in the relationship there are just varying levels of attraction. Maybe you just want to hook up with them once to see what it is like or break some sexual tension between the two of you. Maybe you are really attracted to the girl and you would like to move it up to the level of f-buddy, hooking up when you (meaning both of you) feel like it. BUT you want the friendship to be the same, just add sex. This is messy as it almost always seems to lead to one side wanting more of a relationship. Finally there is the girl you are so attracted (physically and emotionally) that you want to get into a romantic relationship, but are too afraid to put yourself out there.

    I would agree with the guy in this post, if you have feelings for your guy friend make the move. The odds are SO stacked in your favor it is as safe a bet as the sun coming up tomorrow.

  7. DangerJosh says:
    Fri, 31st Oct 200810:43 am 

    My best friends are girls. They are kept completely separate from my dating/sex pool. I have ZERO attraction to them.

    Now, I’ve got my close guy friends too, but none of them know me like my girls do.

    In the wise words of my bestest friend, Sheree:

    “I love it. I can shake my ass in a short skirt right in front of your face and you don’t notice…but the girl next to me could have a bra strap drop for a split second and not only do you notice, but you can totally tell me the color.”

  8. Word says:
    Wed, 5th Nov 20089:30 pm 

    This article was awesome! I love how real College Candy is. I actually wrote about the same thing not too long ago, although with a different view on things. Feel free to check it out at http://ridiculove.blogspot.com/2008/10/best-friend-dilemma.html

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