He Said/She Said: Can Guys and Girls Be Friends?

belle says:
Wed, 29th Oct 200812:03 pm 

I have a question about this… I think it was in When Harry Met Sally when they said that in all guy-girl friendships, at least one person automatically has to be romantically/sexually into the other. But if it's just one person, then what's going on with the other one. They obviously can be friends with the liker despite only being a likee. Which makes me wonder why both of them couldn't be uninterested in more… Thoughts?

Chrissy says:
Wed, 29th Oct 20081:03 pm 

Timely article! I'm starting to have strong feelings for my best guy friend, so it's nice to know that there may be an "85-90%" possibility that he'd be at least somewhat into being more than friends. For the record though, I do have several other guy friends with whom I have (at least on my side, and I'm fairly sure on theirs too) totally platonic relationships. So it's possible, but sometimes things just naturally start to evolve into something more.

Olivia says:
Wed, 29th Oct 20082:57 pm 

One of my best friends is a guy. While it's true he used to have an interest in me (I have never thought about him like that) we definitely have a brother/sister type relationship now.

Even if a friendship starts out as one person liking the other more, my friend and I are proof that this can evolve into a close friendship, not just romance.

ann says:
Wed, 29th Oct 20085:19 pm 

i think it is possible to have guy friends and still just remain friends without doing anything else. although many of them are gay, i also have alot of straight guy friends with whom i haven't done anything with. although for one of them im starting to have stronger feelings for him and it nearly happened once before to another close guy friend (but we dismissed it as being drunk) so there is a chance of romantic feelings happening but it's very possible that it also won't happen.

rachel says:
Wed, 29th Oct 20085:43 pm 

just be careful with the whole 'i like my best guy friend thing' .. my best guy friend and i both had a crush on each other, slept together, and then it was horribly awkward and almost ruined our friendship.. we just got our friendship back to normal and all of this happened 3 years ago.. also be careful if one or the other of you gets in a serious relationship with someone else and you remain best friends.. your new boyfriend/girlfriend WILL be jealous..

Robert says:
Thu, 30th Oct 20087:32 am 

I would say the number is closer to 95% of the girls a guy is friends with he has some level of attraction to, certainly enough to hook up with even just once. There really are just two types of girl 'friends' to a guy, those you have had sex with and those you want to have sex with.

To a guy in the relationship there are just varying levels of attraction. Maybe you just want to hook up with them once to see what it is like or break some sexual tension between the two of you. Maybe you are really attracted to the girl and you would like to move it up to the level of f-buddy, hooking up when you (meaning both of you) feel like it. BUT you want the friendship to be the same, just add sex. This is messy as it almost always seems to lead to one side wanting more of a relationship. Finally there is the girl you are so attracted (physically and emotionally) that you want to get into a romantic relationship, but are too afraid to put yourself out there.

I would agree with the guy in this post, if you have feelings for your guy friend make the move. The odds are SO stacked in your favor it is as safe a bet as the sun coming up tomorrow.

DangerJosh says:
Fri, 31st Oct 20085:43 am 

My best friends are girls. They are kept completely separate from my dating/sex pool. I have ZERO attraction to them.

Now, I've got my close guy friends too, but none of them know me like my girls do.

In the wise words of my bestest friend, Sheree:

"I love it. I can shake my ass in a short skirt right in front of your face and you don't notice…but the girl next to me could have a bra strap drop for a split second and not only do you notice, but you can totally tell me the color."

Word says:
Wed, 5th Nov 20084:30 pm 

This article was awesome! I love how real College Candy is. I actually wrote about the same thing not too long ago, although with a different view on things. Feel free to check it out at http://ridiculove.blogspot.com/2008/10/best-frien…

mani says:
Tue, 26th Jan 20104:00 am 

hai

Leher says:
Tue, 14th Sep 20108:48 pm 

I think guys and girls CAN be friends, but not very close friends. There’s always some level of attraction or flirtation in cross gender friendships. As long as there is distance, that attraction doesn’t make any difference. But the closer you get to your friend, the more you know and love about them, and the stronger the attraction is. For example, I have many “talk-to” guy friends in college, some of whom are cute, but I am not close enough to any of them to actually develop feelings. On the other hand, my best friend of two and a half years is a guy. I have been in love with him for… two and a half years. We are close because we love each other as people, but my attraction to him paired with my closeness to him all adds up to one thing: FEELINGS. Therefore, I don’t think it’s possible for a guy and a girl to be close friends without any attraction… but maybe there’s hope for distant guy-girl friends.