Can You Date Someone on the Other (Political) Team?

November 3, 2008 - 12:30 pm By Lauren - University of Michigan

elephant_and_donkey.jpgWith politics boiling over all around us people are becoming quite polarized. I know that I have had many a fight with my right-leaning sister-in-law (whom I normally LOVE) that would have turned to blows had my brother not jumped in (literally) to break them up. It wasn’t like I planned to fight with her; I just couldn’t believe the things she was saying and, before I knew it, I was biting off her head and spitting at her.

What can I say? I’m very passionate.

Which made things a bit difficult for me recently when I met a wonderful guy…whom I soon found out was a Republican (ew). I wanted to like him – really I did – but was it really possible to be with someone who votes for the other party? I mean, it may be just a vote, but doesn’t it all tie back to someone’s beliefs, morals and passion?

I tried to stick it out, but I couldn’t get myself past the fact that he declared his love for Fox News within the first 5 minutes of my arrival.

Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with Fox News. And there is nothing wrong with Republicans. But someone who makes a bold statement about his love for Fox News is not someone I want to be with. It is one thing to date someone who votes for the other team; it is quite another to date someone who votes for the other team and then declares his love for said team from every pedestal/mountain/tall chair he can find.

At that point it becomes less about political party and more about values and common interests. It is not that I hated him for voting for Bush (which, in fact, I did), but rather that my idea of a fun Saturday looked completely different from his. I like to walk in the park, hit up the farmer’s market and peruse the aisles of Trader Joe’s. He wants to listen to Rush Limbaugh on the radio while he drives his gas guzzling Hummer to a Pro-Life rally downtown.

Like everything else in life, when dating someone out of your political party moderation is key. If your prospective mate is a more moderate member of the Republican Party, that’s fine; while you may have differing views on tax breaks for the wealthy, the more important issues – the ones that come from deep inside you and dictate who you are – may still align. But if he’s a Bush loving, gun toting, anti-abortion activist, you may want to pack your things and get out. And, perhaps, consider picking up a more liberal lookin’ guy at the polls tomorrow.

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No Comments on "Can You Date Someone on the Other (Political) Team?"

  1. melissa says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20081:39 pm 

    :)

    will do. about the picking up guys at the polls tomorrow

  2. Marisa says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20082:55 pm 

    I once dated an adorable Republican. I realize this sounds like an oxymoron, and of course, it turns out it was. He actually liked Bill O’Reilly. At the time, his unbelievable skills in bed made up for his conservative political views, which I avoided discussing so as to not find myself completely turned off by him. That was until during a lonnnnnng car ride, his best friend actually explained to me how whites are better than all the other races and how Barack Obama is an exception to the his lazy, waste of space race. Meanwhile, the guy I was dating sat there and laughed while I got increasingly sick to my stomach. This, and several other instance of assholeness, made me realize that the guy I was dating was as big a dick as Bill O’Reilly and I had to give up the sex to maintain my dignity.

  3. Moderate Republican says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20083:15 pm 

    Whoa, sounds like you guys have had a really bad experience with Republican guys. Yea, there are some pretty bad ones, like the ones who live in the backwoods with a few teeth missing, and yes, the ones that are well dressed and go golfing every Saturday at their country club, but really, I know many nice Republican boys that are multi-racial, don’t hate black people, and don’t agree with all the Republican policies.

    To summarize, don’t be so serious and generalize that all Republicans are snobby ivy-league alumni. There are radicals and bad aspects to all parties.

    (Sorry if this sounds so serious; read it with a happy light tone ^_^)

  4. snarktastic says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20083:21 pm 

    you guys are ridiculous. if you’re not mature enough to respect the beliefs of someone else, maybe you should go back to grammar school.

    correlation is not the same as causation. douchebags.

  5. Sam says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20083:30 pm 

    I tried dating someone with different political views, and I won’t do it again. It’s not that I can’t respect someone else’s views, I can do that just fine.. but to me, my political views represent who I am as a person and they are very important to me. I want to be with someone who understands that is shares the same beliefs as me.. which just happens to be guys that are typically in the same political party as me.

  6. Kay says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20084:46 pm 

    This might be a little easier to read if it weren’t so biased – it’s troubling that the writer just assumes that the reader is liberal.

    I find that words like ‘ew’ and terms like ‘hated him for voting for Bush’ and ‘pack your things and get out’ show condescension and a disrespect for other people’s beliefs.

    Are you OK with the possibility of girls reading this article and thinking that things that they might be or believe in (anti-abortion, Fox News fan, right to bear arms etc.) are wrong, or at the least less right than more liberal beliefs?

    You say ‘there’s nothing wrong with Republicans’, but it certainly seems like you believe there is.

  7. Rebecca says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20085:18 pm 

    Even as a Democrat, I was slightly offended by this. Like Kay above me states, it seems like you feel there is something wrong with Republicans. I dated a wonderful Republican guy for over a year. Polarity was never a problem because it only manifests into one if you make it.

  8. Jacks says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20086:49 pm 

    I am generally more liberal and I agree with Rebecca and Kay. Don’t paint everybody with the same brush.

  9. Carina says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20087:21 pm 

    ya kinda hurt too! i’m a republican, but i am so down for gay marriage, and i am pro-choice etc!

    i see myself as a liberal republican :)

    so don’t put us all in the same boat and send us out to sea!

    although i agree it is difficult, my bf is a democrat, we just avoid politics, the hot guy downstairs democrat too.

    BUT HELLO its kinda sexy to get all angry and fight a little bit :)

  10. Carina says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20087:23 pm 

    p.s. sorry i have a problems with smiley faces and explanation points

    i should probably hit rehab for it haha

  11. Jess says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 20089:44 pm 

    My boyfriend and I are exactly the opposite as my parents. My dad is very strongly Republican, and my mom is a democrat but she definitely keeps her opinions on the DL. My boyfriend is very strongly a democrat, and I am more conservative but I just have too many tests to worry about to really make my opinions heard either.

  12. Jes- USouthAL says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 200810:57 pm 

    Well I tend to be very opinionated when it comes to politics, civil rights, etc., so it’s incredibly important to me that my significant other is compatible with my beliefs. Not saying I don’t respect others’ opinions or think that mine are necessarily right, just that I have someone who understands me and is on my team.

    I’m a liberal independent and routinely get harrassed by my ultra-conservative, evangelical family members. It’s SO comforting to be able to call up my boyfriend and have someone who understands my frustrations and has my back on those issues.

    We’re both independent (non-traditional) thinkers when it comes to religion & spirituality as well. So these basic commonalities really bring us together and we’ve actually become much closer from them.

    Maybe for people who aren’t as strongly affected by these issues it can work and not be a big deal, but it definitely is a factor in my relationships. :)

  13. Caroline says:
    Mon, 3rd Nov 200811:30 pm 

    I may be one of the few that can separate the conservative cause from the evangelical one. I’m an independent, but I’ve voted twice for a Democrat so far. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is quite Republican but doesn’t like the Christian extremist thing. So, I guess that’s how I can live with it. We get into fights about politics for sure, but the heated discussions kinda turn me on. But, that’s just me.

  14. renee says:
    Tue, 4th Nov 200812:47 pm 

    You guys need to go easy on Lauren. I’m pretty sure this article is about dating and how political views can indeed interfere in a relationship. While saying “ew” in regards to Republicans was a little harsh (though I was amused, not gonna lie), let’s not forget that Lauren experienced an extreme case of fanatic Republicanism. Please realize that there are people out there who tarnish the Republican Party with their hate-mongering views.

    And snarktastic, if you think that people should respect the views of such bigots as the “Republicans” mentioned in this article, you are an even bigger tool than I originally presumed.

  15. Emily says:
    Tue, 4th Nov 20087:21 pm 

    ok first off, being apart of the democratic party makes you NO better than a republican such as myself. I am VERY passionate about my political views and I feel that everyone just needs to take it easy, and i was offended while reading this article because it made me feel like you were looking down on me because i’m also a republican. and even though i have strong feelings for my political beliefs, i would never look down on democrats or anyone else because of their beliefs, i would never post an article implying that another “party” is a whole different person.

  16. Elise says:
    Tue, 4th Nov 20088:32 pm 

    heck, my whole family is republican and they HATE fox news. don’t apologize for that. ;)

  17. Erin says:
    Tue, 4th Nov 200811:37 pm 

    I think it’s absolutely ridiculous when people say they don’t look down on other party members’ or other people’s views. Of course you do. And sometimes you should. There’s a difference between respecting people’s views and supporting stupidity and immorality. Do you respect the KKK or do you look down on their views? I will readily admit that I do. I look down on people view’s when they think gays are disgusting and shouldn’t be married. I look down on the view that all people who don’t accept Jesus Christ into their hearts will burn in hell. I look down on people who aren’t evolved enough to consider Barack Obama JUST because he’s black. It’s not right to say all Republicans think like this. Of course they don’t. And I would look down on anybody, Democrat or Republican or neither, that thought like that. If you claim you’re so passionate, but are actually indifferent enough to not look down on the views you strongly, strongly think are wrong, then something is wrong with you. Some beliefs and views shouldn’t be respected.

  18. Caitlin says:
    Wed, 5th Nov 20085:31 pm 

    I am more moderate Republican, but my boyfriend is hard-core Chicago democratic machine pro-union socialist democrat.

    I try to keep the peace and not bring up politics. He jumps down my throat a lot concerning different issues and basically treats me like an idiot. Especially now. Pretty awesome.

    Of course he does it to make me rise to the bait, which I’ll take because I don’t appreciate being put down.

    But that doesn’t work against his stubborn ways.

  19. Yukiko Sato says:
    Fri, 7th Nov 20088:05 pm 

    Maybe he should be staying clear of you and your intolerance. You sound like the kind of hategul person you claim he is, except that he was willing to accept you as you are and you had to impose your views on him to be able to date him. Doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship for him to be in.

  20. Avatar says:
    Tue, 11th Nov 200812:11 pm 

    Honestly, think for your selves. This is ridiculous, and so are the opinions posted here. It’s sad that people devote so much of them selves to one side or the other.

  21. Paige says:
    Wed, 12th Nov 20087:35 pm 

    Was this really a case of “fanatic Republicanism”? Okay, Fox News – biased? Absolutely. More biased than MSNBC or several print media sources I could name? Absolutely not. And anyone who is secure enough in their beliefs to call themselves a Republican (since CLEARLY that takes guts around certain people) aren’t going to change their minds by listening to unbiased news anyways, so what’s wrong with listening to people they agree with? Next, the sin of being a “Bush lover”. Hate to break it to ya, but, on his way out or not, he’s our president. You can disagree with everything he’s ever done for all I care, but disrespect the President of the United States? I’m sorry, was that the word “united” in there?

    I feel like even people in the comments who are “defending” Republicans in general have certain opinions about who a republican is. No, we’re not all bigots, and I personally “look down” on people I know who do vote republican solely because of the race issue or really, single-issue or “personality” or “that’s what the news said” voters of either party, but not on people who have well-supported reasons to vote democrat. Most of my friends here voted for Obama, and only one rubbed it in my face when he won. Why? Maybe because some people try to live together as fellow human beings, rather than fellow political party members.

  22. Ryana says:
    Sun, 16th Nov 20084:06 pm 

    This article and almost all of the comments posted here clearly evince a very shallow understanding of politics. The assumptions of most posters indicate extreme ignorance of conservatism. The picture painted by the writer of Republicans is more like a caricature than any kind of reasonable portrayal.

  23. Riesling says:
    Thu, 20th Nov 200812:15 am 

    I don’t see that she experienced an “extreme case” of anything except maybe her head being up her own ***. She is downing him for his views but mad at him because he holds different ones from her. Wonder if he wrote a similar article? Nah, probably not – he is mature enough to watch the news!

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