Sexy Time: Can I Get Yo’ Numba?

number-on-napkin.jpg[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow – you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

I’m a complete sucker for guys that ask for my number. No matter how creepy or sleazy they are, I hand it over every time. It’s not that I’m actually interested in these guys – I almost always give out my number with the intention of never ever talking to him again. So why do I even bother handing my number out to total strangers?

First of all, I feel bad turning people down, especially if they have the balls to come up and ask for my number. Second of all, I am way too slow to think of a viable excuse on the spot. I get all flustered and red and end up handing it over to save myself the embarrassment.

That is why I have compiled a list of the best excuses to get out of a bad number situation. Don’t worry, you can thank me later….like when you no longer get woken up by “Hey sexy” text messages from that suit salesman you met on the subway.

1. The “no excuse” excuse. As in, complete honesty. I would go on but I feel like the girls gutsy enough to pull this off don’t really need to read an article about excuses.

2. The “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that…” excuse. This one functions as the default excuse for many of us. Just be sure that he can’t do a background check and find out you’re lying. There’s nothing more embarrassing than looking like the “pathetic” girl that lies about being in a relationship.

3. The “I broke/lost/ate my phone” excuse. You should probably use this excuse as an absolute last resort. I’m talking a word vomit situation – never aim to use this one on purpose. Once a guy told me that he dropped his phone off a building and that’s why he didn’t call me. I promise you, even the dumbest human beings can spot that bulls*it from a mile away.

4. The switcheroo aka the “Let me get yours instead…”. This one is pretty ballsy, as you take the risk of looking like a complete bitch when you don’t call. If this guy is a complete rando and there is no way in hell you’ll ever see him again (i.e. he lives in a different state/country) this may be a good option. And even if he lives right up the street, well, frankly, I’d rather come off as a bitch than have to ignore the guy’s calls for the next three months.

5. The “Aww, you’re gonna have to work harder than that…” Sadly enough, this is my signature excuse of choice. When a creeper asks for my number, I act nauseatingly mysterious and tell him that I don’t give my number to just anybody (completely untrue). Unfortunately, this one does have a tendency to backfire, as a true creeper will do anything short of stalking to get a girl’s number. Proceed with caution.

6. The “I just don’t give it out” excuse. Graciously used by Yvonne in the “Can I get your number?” MadTV skit (if you haven’t seen it do so immediately!), this excuse is the closest to honesty as you can get. It’s plain and simple – “I just don’t like giving out my number…to complete creepers like you.”



    1. Thomas says:

      Years ago when I lived in Chicago there was a nondescript phone put together by a dating agency for ppl to give in place of their own number. It was something like 312-513-XXXX. Anyway when the person called it they got a message that went something like,'Hi the person who gave you this number is not interested in you. But don't worry there a X,XXX number of Chicago singles in the city. Just sign up with the Chicago Single (or some Company name like that) and start meeting ppl who are interested in you.

    2. jen says:

      thomas, that is awesome! this article also reminds me of when you're on a date and you really need a way out so you have someone like call you so you can make an excuse. i just found out the other day that the iphone has an app that does it for you now. you set it to go off at a certain time and it makes your phone look like someone's calling. i love technology

    3. Sarah says:

      My friend gave this creeper the number of my schools financial aid office the other night. It was great.

    4. melissa says:

      I tell them my number is 867-5309.

      No guy has ever "got it" so they foolishly think they scored…

      Thank you, Tommy Tutone.

    5. Lily says:

      Thomas: the number exists for plenty of cities (I admit, I've given it out before!)

      there's a list here:

    6. yaming says:

      I use the "aww your gonna have to work harder than that" all the time!! hehehehehehehehehehe!!

    7. Kia says:

      Is it really ballsy to just not give an excuse? I find myself doing that all the time. If a total creeper asks for my number I usually just say something that ultimately comes down to "no" and walk away. But in a really polite way! lol! I used to use the boyfriend excuse, but it can backfire if he actually starts to inquire about your boyfriend: "why he let a fine piece like you sit here all alone?" That is a direct quote. You would be surprised at how many times I got that or variations of it.

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