
[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]
“…So they broke up, and that’s fine – but you know what, lots of people break up! Lots of people get dumped! He’s been moping about her for longer than they were going out! I don’t want to have to fall back on gender stereotypes to make my point here, but if this doesn’t stop I am going to buy him a vibrator for his birthday! For his vagina!”
Two boys and a girl in a pizza restaurant:
Boy 1: “I like your sweater.”
Boy 2: “Oh, thanks! I like my sweater too.”
Boy 1: “Y’know, it’d look really good if you wore a white tank top under that, pulled the collar down a bit – just so a bit of the tank top’s visible.”
Girl: “Bob? Why are you talking about this?”
Boy 1: “Hey, I love fashion and I think it’s something I have the authority to speak on!”
Girl: “Listen, Bob, if you want to have sex with my boyfriend, just do it, okay? It’s fine.”
Playing Rock Band:
“Hey, uh, excuse me? I’m sorry to bother you but – “
“Oh, yeah, we’ll turn it down. Sorry. I know, it’s a weeknight.”
“No, it’s not the music. I live in the room below you – It’s the jumping up and down and falling over. Like, it sounds like you guys are just having the most violent sex possible.”
“No! No more! Shut up about the Capoeira masters!”
“Hey – these guys came all the way from -”
“I know, Brazil! The Capoeira masters from Brazil! Whatever! Shut up and have another shot!”
At a Mexican restaurant:
Waitress, with pitcher: “Are you drinking water?”
Guy: “Oh, yes, thank you.”
Girl: “Actually, I’m drinking these… chippies. Could I get a refill on chippies?”
“Dude, it’s Wii Fit, not ‘Wii-sit-on-your-fat-ass-and-drink-Coronas-while-wiggling-like-two-fingers.’”



Jess says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 20086:14 pm
Guy 1: “You know how rich people are so hot? It’s because an ugly rich guy marries a hot girl, because he’s rich, and their kids are only half ugly. Then the half-ugly kid marries a hot girl, and their kids are only a quarter ugly. Eventually all the ugly just goes away.”
Guy 2: “I don’t know. My dad’s ugly, and my mom’s hot, but I’m still full-on ugly.”
Stephanie says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 20087:47 pm
Lmao @ the Rock Band one and the one Jess added too
Kat says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 20088:28 pm
Girl: I’m going to buy myself a nice big diamond. Then when I get married, my fiance will have to buy me a bigger one!
Gina says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 20088:46 pm
Two men in their mid-twenties, discussing boob size.
Guy 1: Dude, I’m telling you! Small ones are so much better for longevity!
Guy 2: They’re not better for my longevity, if ya know what I’m sayin’!
Coco - University of Alabama says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 20089:40 pm
Girl: No don’t tickle me!
Guy: Oh I’ll tickle you…with my penis.
Laura says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 20089:47 pm
Bahahaha!
Sarabeth - University of Texas says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 200810:29 pm
coco, i’m about 99% sure my boyfriend has said that to me before
maddieconway@yahoo.c says:
Sun, 23rd Nov 200811:55 pm
“…when my friend takes Adderall to study…”
–
Girl 1: aww man, i’m gonna want to smoke tonight and i don’t have any weed
Girl 2: i have a whole bag of weed still, i just haven’t had the chance to smoke it
Girl 1: well, do you want to smoke tonight?
Girl 2: yeah, sure!
Kelly says:
Mon, 24th Nov 200812:15 am
I’m pretty sure my boyfriend has said something like that too to me Coco hahahaha
Matt says:
Tue, 23rd Jun 20099:51 am
‘A stupid story. Better know.
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