A Fourth Grader Lays Down The Laws About Dating

A few days ago, we posted a story contrasting the merits of dating undergrads and grad students. And while academics are perfectly fine for dating, I’ve found a hunk who knows all the moves, but doesn’t have a degree. As a matter of fact, he hasn’t even passed fourth grade yet.

It’s true: 9-year-old Alec Greven from Colorado has recently published a book that’s the talk of the town, called How To Talk To Girls. He originally wrote it as a handwritten pamphlet for his schoolyard peers whom he noticed were having some trouble talking to the ladies.

Now the book, which also helps men of all ages identify different kinds of women (pretty girls, he says, “are easy to spot because they have big earrings, fancy dresses, and all the jewelry”), is available in stores nationwide. And before you dismiss his suggestions as merely elementary, I think he’s really onto something. Consider these insights he shares with his fellow man:

* Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats.

* If you say hi and a girl says hi back, you’re probably off to a good start.

* Control your hyperness and cut down on sugar if necessary.

* A crush is like a love disease that can drive you mad.

* Make sure you have good friends who don’t try to take the girl you like.

* Class clowns never make a good partner.

All that (and more) from a fourth-grader?! (What are they putting in kids’ cereal these days?) I think the guys from our generation definitely missed out on a few of these seemingly common-sense tips, particularly the “don’t wear sweats” suggestion. (Fellas, I know this is college, but the world is not your living room. Get some Levi’s.) I’ll certainly be passing this along to all my guy friends, in hopes that they can learn a few things – from a 9-year-old – that may just help them woo the ladies.

After all, if a 4th grader can figure this stuff out, it shouldn’t be hard for our college-aged peers.