Sexy Time: Food Sex

[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

I love food.

I also really love sex.

What can be better than enjoying my two loves at the same time? (The answer is: nothing). That is why I have compiled a list of sex-edible items – some conventional, some a little less so – for your holiday enjoyment. Disclaimer: I have not personally tried all of these, so you may want to try them out on a stain-proof surface such as a tarp or your grandmother’s plastic-covered couch. I’m just sayin’.

Whipped Cream

Pro: It’s a simple, fun, classic sex food that leaves minimal mess.

Con: Too much consumption may give you or your partner a tummy ache.

Hot Fudge

Pro: It’s warm, gooey, and absolutely delicious.

Con: I tried Hershey’s syrup once, and it stained my sister’s sheets. Also, it takes an unusually high number of licks to get it off your partner’s body. You can decide if that’s a good or bad thing.

Sushi

Pro: It’s easy to pop in your mouth and doesn’t leave much behind. Plus, Samantha tried it in the Sex and the City movie, which is just cool.

Con: Two words: fish smell. And there’s always the looming possibility of food poisoning if you leave it out too long.

Candy Jewelry

Pro: Having your partner nibble on your neck – or thigh, if you wear it as a garter – is always a good time.

Con: There are limited locations where candy jewelry can be placed. At least until they patent my friend Jordan’s invention of candy-clasped bras and underwear (genius, right?).

Ice Cream

Pro: Temperature sensations are always good, especially cold ice cream in a warm room. And you can pick any flavor you want!

Con: Sticky icky icky. And once it melts you have no idea which direction it’ll run.

Hershey’s Kisses

Pro: They’re delicious and they melt in your mouth, not on your bod. Make a trail with them and find your way back, Gretel. (Not exactly bread crumbs, but they work.)

Con: Candy (and other) wrappers leave a lot of evidence.

Cookie Dough

Pro: Everybody loves cookie dough. Also, you can chill or warm them up depending on your temperature preference.

Con: Like sushi, food poisoning may be a risk. Salmonella, anyone?

Frosting

Pro: It’s sweet, spreadable, and lickable. This is the top of my list to try over the holidays.

Cons: Like anything else sweet, it may be sticky. You may just have to take a shower afterwards. Now that I think of it, that may be more of a pro than a con….