Sexy Time: Food Sex

December 11, 2008     Posted in Relationships, Sex

foodsex.jpg[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]


By Elizabeth

I love food.

I also really love sex.

What can be better than enjoying my two loves at the same time? (The answer is: nothing). That is why I have compiled a list of sex-edible items – some conventional, some a little less so – for your holiday enjoyment. Disclaimer: I have not personally tried all of these, so you may want to try them out on a stain-proof surface such as a tarp or your grandmother’s plastic-covered couch. I’m just sayin’.

Whipped Cream

Pro: It’s a simple, fun, classic sex food that leaves minimal mess.

Con: Too much consumption may give you or your partner a tummy ache.

Hot Fudge

Pro: It’s warm, gooey, and absolutely delicious.

Con: I tried Hershey’s syrup once, and it stained my sister’s sheets. Also, it takes an unusually high number of licks to get it off your partner’s body. You can decide if that’s a good or bad thing.

Sushi

Pro: It’s easy to pop in your mouth and doesn’t leave much behind. Plus, Samantha tried it in the Sex and the City movie, which is just cool.

Con: Two words: fish smell. And there’s always the looming possibility of food poisoning if you leave it out too long.

Candy Jewelry

Pro: Having your partner nibble on your neck – or thigh, if you wear it as a garter – is always a good time.

Con: There are limited locations where candy jewelry can be placed. At least until they patent my friend Jordan’s invention of candy-clasped bras and underwear (genius, right?).

Ice Cream

Pro: Temperature sensations are always good, especially cold ice cream in a warm room. And you can pick any flavor you want!

Con: Sticky icky icky. And once it melts you have no idea which direction it’ll run.

Hershey’s Kisses

Pro: They’re delicious and they melt in your mouth, not on your bod. Make a trail with them and find your way back, Gretel. (Not exactly bread crumbs, but they work.)

Con: Candy (and other) wrappers leave a lot of evidence.

Cookie Dough

Pro: Everybody loves cookie dough. Also, you can chill or warm them up depending on your temperature preference.

Con: Like sushi, food poisoning may be a risk. Salmonella, anyone?

Frosting

Pro: It’s sweet, spreadable, and lickable. This is the top of my list to try over the holidays.

Cons: Like anything else sweet, it may be sticky. You may just have to take a shower afterwards. Now that I think of it, that may be more of a pro than a con….

21 Comments on "Sexy Time: Food Sex"

  1. Lauren, University o says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20086:36 am 

    Frosting would be awesome, until you get so sick from all that sugar.

  2. jodi says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20087:38 am 

    Wouldn't the con for ice cream – not knowing which way it'll run when it melts – actually a kind of pro?

  3. Sarabeth - Universit says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20088:54 am 

    this reminds me of my mom's lingere shower present for my sister when she got married….

    a candy bra and thong.

  4. Andrea says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20089:26 am 

    My boyfriend and I are actually going to try using a fruit roll up on his member: I'll place it on, then lick/suck it off. What kind of guy would complain about that?

  5. Emily says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20089:41 am 

    nutella!

  6. beth says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20081:57 pm 

    haha, I hate when people say 'member' it grosses me out.

    I bet it would take a long long time to get that fruit roll up off lol

  7. Gina says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20084:29 pm 

    Nutella, eh? Best idea ever.

  8. Casey says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20089:02 pm 

    how about Honey. That's the only one i've tried

  9. kt says:
    Thu, 11th Dec 20089:32 pm 

    ew whipped cream is the worst!!! cream + hot bodies = spoiled sour horrible smelling gag inducing. yuck.

  10. Lake says:
    Fri, 12th Dec 20085:29 am 

    Yeah, I heard the same thing. A friend of mine told me never to use whipped cream because it turns sour extremely quickly, and the smell doesn't wash off of skin easily. >_>

  11. amanda says:
    Fri, 12th Dec 20085:37 pm 

    crystal light is also not a good idea for future reference

  12. Jessica says:
    Wed, 7th Jan 200912:01 pm 

    Yup! Whipped cream is bad.. I cant even eat it after an experience with my ex, it got hot and got nasty smelling .. and GAG can't eat it on anything anymore :(

  13. Rachel says:
    Sat, 17th Jan 20093:56 pm 

    Whipped cream definitely melted and made a big mess. It was way more funny than sexy

  14. Meag says:
    Tue, 17th Feb 20093:42 pm 

    ahaha nutella and honey sound awesome! I would imagine whip cream going bad.. anyway Ive never tried anything like this before.. but I think I will now lol the fruit roll up part sounds pretty funny to me though :D

  15. Michelle says:
    Thu, 26th Mar 200912:35 pm 

    I have worked at a candy story which sold candy bras, thongs and g-string pouches for the guys. They're actually an incredibly popular gift.

  16. bunny says:
    Tue, 31st Mar 20093:19 pm 

    er, you get candy underwear…

  17. Lindsay says:
    Tue, 10th Nov 20092:13 pm 

    If any readers on here live in CT, the V.I.P stores that are located in Manchester, Hartford, and I *think* Orange sell "body whipped cream" in flavors like vanilla, butterscotch, cherry, etc. It doesn't really leave too much stickiness on the body…just don't put it in a bag where you'll forget it's there..aha

  18. Felipe says:
    Sun, 22nd Apr 20127:34 pm 

    Jan21 Does anyone mebemrer billing errors or computer glitches that created mistakes without human intervention and how hard they were to correct and the computer somehow remained blameless. These mistakes could create large numbers of errors with much human intervention to correct and many hours and dollars lost. Now take an accountant or a payroll clerk and they make one mistake before computers. Did people take this personally? How was the person treated that made the mistake? This person may have made thousands of entries with one error in 10,000. Percentage wise this is acceptable. The error was usually corrected with one contact. The individual was treated poorly and ridiculed for the error. It seems as though we have accepted a different standard for computers than human beings.Remember when hanging up a phone on a person was rude. Now I dropped the call is acceptable. Remember when making a call on an inquiry took only a few minutes talking to a person with an action taking place that fixed what the call was about. Try calling a government agency with datria. Did not get that. My Wife was on the phone straightening out a billing error a week ago and it took 2 hours and 15 minutes. The phone company would have paid out more in wages than the error was worth. The good side is I can share this information with many in a short time.

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