College Candy

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“Okay, soon as I get back to my room, I’m adding this to my Facebook profile. We should all add this to our Facebook profiles. ‘Hangin’ out.’ ‘Movies.’ ‘Stupid Dog Voices.’”

“His butt is so… defined. It’s the Lamborghini of butts.”

“It’s Rudolph! He’s presenting!”

“I hate my Chaucer professor. Whenever I’m in class, he just throws chocolate at me.”

“Hey, good morning, everybody.”

“Morning was a while ago.”

“Okay, good afternoon, fine. Who’s got a final today?”

“I had Ethics at one.”

“Wait. One? What time is it now? Three? S***. Well, I guess I had a final today.”

“That dog is so damn cute. He’s the best part of my life. I’m just going to write ‘I love that dog’ for every answer on my final.”

“All they’ve been serving is poop. No, I mean, literally. I get downstairs and it’s like, ‘Well, poop again, guess I’m gonna order out.’”

“There’s never anything in crates and barrels, right?”

“Try farting on them.”

“Hey, I’m going to the grocery store. Anyone need a break from studying?”

“Holy s***, girl, grocery store is straight dope! I love that s***!”

“Did you just say ’straight dope’? You’re not invited.”

“The butt doctor is in business… again!”

“She’s blind. Found it out when I tried playing baseball with her.”