College Candy

Imagine you’re on a date. Things are going well, he’s funny and charming and you’re feeling pretty mellow. He gets closer, puts his arm around you, and (you know it’s coming) he leans in for a kiss. It’s that first, impossibly sexy moment of intimacy. You get a whiff of his musk and–is that a Whopper you smell??

No, it’s not his lunch on his breath that you’re sniffing, but his cologne. Thanks to our friends at Burger King, your man can now smell like his favorite fast-food sandwich with help from their newly released scent, Flame. It’s described by the BK cologne website Fire Meets Desire as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” Because nothing says “I wanna treat you like a princess” like smelling like a $2.39 pile of grease. Flame will be sold on the Fire Meets Desire website as well as at New York City-based retailer, Ricky’s, for a mere $4 a spray-bottle.

I’m not quite sure why the Burger King himself (who, by the way, looks like the result of an illegitimate mating between Holy Roman Emperor Charlemagne and Flava Flav) appears on the website reclining nude in front of a fire with just a fur blanket. Seeing that made me feel as though I’d just rubbed my eyes with horseradish. And is it just me, or have there been a lot of unorthodox colognes being released on the market lately? Next up: Valentino’s Eau du Public Transportation.

That being said, if the sweet aroma of the Whopper does send tingles down your spine, this is just the gift for you. After all, it’s not that strange to want to combine food and sex. Burger King just may be onto something with this food-scented body spray. As my friend said, if nothing else, it gives a new meaning to the term “special sauce.”