College Candy

Here is something to celebrate: there is a new, cheaper female condom on the market! Yay!

As if women didn’t have to bear enough of the birth control burden: paying for The Pill every month and remembering to take it every day (not to mention all those lovely hormonal side-effects). Now we have the option of purchasing yet another contraceptive and dealing with the discomforts of using it.

Super!

Because there are no other options, like, I don’t know, something men can use? Oh, right – like a condom. But those are annoying and expensive and they make sex feel weird (according to men). Why should guys have to suffer when a woman can just do it all? She’s the one who is gonna get pregnant, anyway; she should be the one taking care of all that business.

And this new female condom (cleverly called FC2: Female Condom 2) seems just so easy to use!

The product is a long, lubricated sheath, anchored at either end by a flexible ring. Upon insertion, the smaller ring surrounding the closed end of the sheath is positioned high in the vagina while the larger ring extends outside the canal and covers the labia.

I can imagine just how romantic it will be when everything has to stop so you can shove a giant Ziploc bag up there. That is if the sight of one of these things isn’t enough to kill the mood entirely. The only plus side to this condom is the fact that you eliminate user error on the part of men. You never can trust them to get those things on right (or at all…you saw Knocked Up!).

But that isn’t enough for me. I am sick of everyone putting the birth control responsibility on the woman. It takes two to tango, so it should take 2 to do so safely. If women are taking care of the pills, then men should be responsible for the rest.

It’s only fair.